No, Lee, tell us what you REALLY think...

Leeandra Nolting

Leeandra Nolting
Location
New Orleans, Louisiana, United States
Birthday
July 08
Title
Assistant Guru (not to be confused with Assistant to the Guru)
Bio
Proud native Hoosier who’s settled permanently in New Orleans. Teach English. Live in an old whorehouse with three very talkative and sexually-confused birds and one very talkative bird that isn’t sexually confused at all but just wants what s/he wants, which is pretty much everything and everybody. They appear quite frequently in my writing. Former bedpan wrangler, radio announcer, preschool teacher, and freshman comp. instructor. Once accidentally picked out A Clockwork Orange for a make-out movie. Have a very rational appreciation for the works of Flannery O’Connor and the television show The X-Files and an irrational fear of Meg Ryan. All my friends are drunks.

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Salon.com
NOVEMBER 1, 2010 7:26PM

From Leeandra's Secret Diary

Rate: 9 Flag

 June 11, 1992 

Dear Journal,

I am bored. Bored bored bored. There is nothing to do here. I read the part on polio in the book of Knowledge* and it was good but boring. I hate it here. I hate my parents. Eric is a droid. I read all of the Fear Street cheerleader books. They were good but boring. I read the boofer's** Goosebumps book. It was boring and for kids. I will ride my bike to the overpass and spit on cars. Eric and I dumped oatmeal on cars yesterday. I love D.S. but he doesn't love me. I don't know when I'll ever get what I want.

Love,

Leeandra Nolting

sixzth 

(the ennui-filled author of the above)

*we owned a set from 1956.  They stayed under the TV in the living room.

**my brother Eric was nicknamed Boofer Boy as a baby.  He hated it, so I made sure to tease him about it at every opportunity.

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We had Funk & Wagnalls from the early sixties... I kept them til I last moved in 2007... then donated them to a book drive to build libraries at remote first nation communities.
Brian B
November 01, 2010 07:36 PM
I was bored on Funk & Wagnall's also. I think that we used them for fuel during the energy crisis in Jimmy Carter's administration.
Fred Hallman
November 01, 2010 08:04 PM
Nothing to do in N'orleans? Ah lass I beg to differ.
Rated.
Scylla the Rock
November 01, 2010 08:10 PM
damn, lee. i was gonna write that cool french saying, but then i saw your tags ... i got nuthin', girl.
femme forte aka candace
November 01, 2010 08:52 PM
Scylla--I didn't grow up in New Orleans. I grew up two miles outside of Greensburg, Indiana, a town of 10,000 people whose claims to fame are making 1/4 of the world's water faucets and having a tree growing out of the roof of the courthouse tower.
Leeandra Nolting
November 01, 2010 08:57 PM
A full 1/4 of the worlds faucets? How can there be boredom in such a place? Sorry I thought ye spoke of N'Olreans. I also grew in suburban boredom only to rebel as a foolish youth against everything I could see. We owe our children a sense of history and wonder not just green lawns and 'safe' neighborhoods.
Excuse my glibness a grand post indeed.
Scylla the Rock
November 01, 2010 09:26 PM
It's the ennui of youth, I think . . . adult boredom takes on a whole new dimension . . .
Owl_Says_Who
November 02, 2010 10:27 AM
Great stuff. Now I know what was behind the double bat-secret lock on my sister's pink Barbie diary.
Con Chapman
November 02, 2010 12:58 PM
We had Books of Knowledge, too - from the thirties. I loved them for the pictures and the stories. Later my grandmother, I think, passed on a Grolier set from the fifties and then my Dad found an Encylopedia Brittanica, early seventies, in The Trader. He felt bad for the guy in the trailer who had to sell them and paid extra because they were only a year old and in great shape. Three sets of encyclopedias - it was an embarrassment of riches.

You were quite the little malcontent.

I don't know when I'll ever get what I want, either. But hey, fuck me, you built a goddamn house!
consonantsandvowels
November 03, 2010 11:29 AM