(This needs to be sung to the tune of this.  I can't sing, but it's not like Malvina Reynolds really could either.)

I am dropping lots of students

I am dropping 'cause they don't show up

And they don't turn in their homework

And they roll their eyes at me

When I ask them for a doctor's note

Or subpoena or obituary

And they look at me like I'm crazy

When I ask why they weren't here.

And they are scamming their financial aid

And they're cashing in their Pell Grants

And they don't know what my name is

And it's not my fault they don't show

Because they didn't plan to study

Or attend class in the first place

And they've figured out the system

And they're dropping off my roll.

And they're going to be pissed at me

When they show up three weeks from now

And find out they're no longer

Enrolled students in my class.

But they can't complain about me

'Cause they don't know what my name is

Not that I didn't tell them

On the day they came to class.

And they'll call the dean and provost

And they'll call me a racist

And they'll bring their grandmothers in

But it won't do any good.

'Cause I take good attendance

And know what all their names are

Even though I've got two hundred

And they've just got one of me.

I am dropping lots of students

I am dropping 'cause they don't show up

And they don't turn in their homework

And they roll their eyes at me

When I ask them for a doctor's note

Or subpoena or obituary

And they look at me like I'm crazy

When I ask why they weren't here.