Please note, folks:  This is, and is intended as, a piece of COMEDY.  I don't hate customers, I don't hate humanity, I don't hate my job, and I don't even hate douchebags, which 99% of people who walk in the door to the gallery are most certainly NOT.  Wearing items of clothi… Read full post »

Growing up in rural Indiana, I never really thought about living in New Orleans. My aunt lived in the suburb of Kenner for a time when I was little, and my mother loved the city, but for me, New Orleans was the cheap tourist-shop prints of St. Louis Cathedral and Brulatour… Read full post »

Been looking at my budget books for 2007, trying to find places to save.  Apologize that this isn't better written.

1. Laundry. I have no laundry facilities where I rent. I have laundry down to a science. I have to load/bungee cord my laundry into a little wheelie cart every week… Read full post »

Yesterday, I learned of Mad Men Yourself!

Unlike Verbal Remedy's virtual clothes-tryer-onner, this one actually came up with an avatar that pretty much looks like I do in real life.  (BTW, I have this dress in my closet.)

Read full post »

I am running a home for sexually-confused and frustrated tropical birds.

I did not set out to do this.  I set out to buy a parakeet.  Technically, my landlord does not allow pets of any kind.  Technically, my landlord is also supposed to keep the building up to code.  (I live… Read full post »

Last night Mom called me and was telling me about a book she was reading about the history of various classic American toys, and we got to talking about what on earth kids these days will remember of their childhoods. (The boyfriend remembered playing Nintendo for hours on end, which explains… Read full post »

I have a number of friends on Facebook who are mothers, and judging by their posts there, I have to say this:

Y’all worry too much, and about the wrong things.

NOBODY has a perfect childhood, and most people don’t turn out either axe murderers or Nobel Prize winners.  So quit th/… Read full post »

I know that this is old news, but Burger King released a beef-scented body spray called "BK Flame."

 (When I was in high school, I liked a guy who worked at a nationwide fast-food joint and therefore always smelled like hamburgers.  I think, therefore, BK Flame&… Read full post »

Just for fun...

July 4th, 1982.  I still basically look like this, but with darker hair.

This picture basically sums up the first twenty or so years of my little brother's life.

Plotting matricide on the first day of kindergarten at Rosenmund School.&nbs… Read full post »

 

It sits looking
over harbor and city

 
on silent haunches

 
and then moves on.

Read full post »

Random and out-of-order Dad stories and pictures.  He totally thinks it's all Mom's fault my brother and I are so damn weird.

Like a lot of families in the country where there isn't garbage pick-up service, we (illegally) burned our trash in a burn barrel in the backyard.  This was&nb… Read full post »

I could write a whole blog about Mardi Gras, but I'm too damn tired.  So here's the picture that pretty well sums up the spirit of the season--Audrey Hepburn pouring Southern Comfort down the throat of Cookie Monster.

Read full post »

A reading from the Book of Leeandricus: 

Verily, I say unto thee, thou shall train up thy sons that that raiment which is clean shall be hung up on hangers or put in the drawers, and that raiment which is unclean shall be put in the hamper.  That raiment/… Read full post »

It’s that time of year in New Orleans again.

As always, Carnival season officially starts on Twelfth Night (a.k.a. The Feast of the Epiphany, a.k.a. Three Kings’ Day, a.k.a. January 6^th), and culminates on Mardi Gras (French for “Fat Tuesday”), the day before Ash Wednesday and… Read full post »

 This morning I'm walking along St. Charles Avenue.  The plan is to walk to Borders, get there around 9 am (opening time), buy this book I'm looking for, catch the streetcar back, and be at work by 10. 

I'm waiting to cross Howard Street at Lee Circle when I'm approached by… Read full post »

Hi, my name is Elvis.  I am a female cockatiel and I am on the left in this picture.  My husband Jerry is on the right, and Leeandra is in the middle.  Leeandra was going to use a much cuter picture of just me that she took with her new… Read full post »

I must say, I don't speak Hindi (or whatever language this is in, I'm aware India has 22 officially recognized languages and several hundred more that are spoken throughout the country), but the chorus of this will follow me to the grave.

Today, I got the two weirdest compliments I've ever received, and I can't decide which is more disturbing:

1.  "Your customers all think you're a sweet little Southern belle Stepford wife, but then you've got that evil look in your eye and they don't realize you're totally screwing them out of… Read full post »

Read full post »

(Note:  this is not my Diva Cup.  Nor is it my hand.  It's just a picture I pulled off the internet.)

To the male readers of my blog:  this post contains descriptions of lady stuff.  You have been duly warned.  Proceed at your own risk.

I have to put a… Read full post »

 Following Rob St. Amant's suggestion:

Let's have an OS Meetup in New Orleans this Halloween!

No, seriously.  By late October, the weather will be bearable, hurricane season will be (mostly) past,  Southwest Airlines has some sweet direct flights from many major cities (and Freaky--Fed… Read full post »

(an "upskirt" photo of Elvis,  taken with my cell phone.  The yellow striped tailfeathers are how you tell she's a female standard gray.  A male standard gray has plain gray tailfeathers.)

I'll admit it:  I'm not a very good mother hen to my screwed-up bird… Read full post »

 1.  Flip-flops.  Much like Crocs, these are for the beach, the swimming pool, public showers, smashing cockroaches around the house, taking out the garbage, and running across the street to the 7-11 at midnight to buy toilet paper.  They are not everyday shoes.  They make yo/… Read full post »