Please note, folks:  This is, and is intended as, a piece of COMEDY.  I don't hate customers, I don't hate humanity, I don't hate my job, and I don't even hate douchebags, which 99% of people who walk in the door to the gallery are most certainly NOT.  Wearing items of clothi… Read full post »

I have a number of friends on Facebook who are mothers, and judging by their posts there, I have to say this:

Y’all worry too much, and about the wrong things.

NOBODY has a perfect childhood, and most people don’t turn out either axe murderers or Nobel Prize winners.  So quit th/… Read full post »

Growing up in rural Indiana, I never really thought about living in New Orleans. My aunt lived in the suburb of Kenner for a time when I was little, and my mother loved the city, but for me, New Orleans was the cheap tourist-shop prints of St. Louis Cathedral and Brulatour… Read full post »

 This morning I'm walking along St. Charles Avenue.  The plan is to walk to Borders, get there around 9 am (opening time), buy this book I'm looking for, catch the streetcar back, and be at work by 10. 

I'm waiting to cross Howard Street at Lee Circle when I'm approached by… Read full post »

 Following Rob St. Amant's suggestion:

Let's have an OS Meetup in New Orleans this Halloween!

No, seriously.  By late October, the weather will be bearable, hurricane season will be (mostly) past,  Southwest Airlines has some sweet direct flights from many major cities (and Freaky--Fed… Read full post »

I am running a home for sexually-confused and frustrated tropical birds.

I did not set out to do this.  I set out to buy a parakeet.  Technically, my landlord does not allow pets of any kind.  Technically, my landlord is also supposed to keep the building up to code.  (I live… Read full post »

Yesterday, I learned of Mad Men Yourself!

Unlike Verbal Remedy's virtual clothes-tryer-onner, this one actually came up with an avatar that pretty much looks like I do in real life.  (BTW, I have this dress in my closet.)

Read full post »

Been looking at my budget books for 2007, trying to find places to save.  Apologize that this isn't better written.

1. Laundry. I have no laundry facilities where I rent. I have laundry down to a science. I have to load/bungee cord my laundry into a little wheelie cart every week… Read full post »

Dearest and most esteemed readers, 

In honor of all the slutty Nurse/ slutty cheerleader/ slutty Dorothy Gale/ slutty witch/ slutty zookeeper/ slutty teacher/ slutty nun/ slutty bride/ slutty slut costumes complete with visible garter belts and stocking tops we'll all be seeing tonight and tomor… Read full post »

Wow.  That'll learn me.

 I go out for a day and try my best to get a real world life, and when I come back all this shit's going down, and everybody's yelling at everybody, and everybody else is yelling at them to calm down and stop yelling, and thirteen OS… Read full post »

 1.  Flip-flops.  Much like Crocs, these are for the beach, the swimming pool, public showers, smashing cockroaches around the house, taking out the garbage, and running across the street to the 7-11 at midnight to buy toilet paper.  They are not everyday shoes.  They make yo/… Read full post »

Look, Mr. Beck--I have very, very strong disagreements with President Obama on a number of issues, but you're talking out your ass here.  I WAS an Americorps volunteer.  I joined Americorps in May 2002, two weeks after graduating college, and left after completing my te… Read full post »

Which translates to: "I threw out three of the five opened jars of spaghetti sauce, because that's what you pointed out to me."

Note the THREE opened cans of vegetables, two jars of Ragu with half an inch of sauce in each, the pitcher with half an inch of Kool-Aid in/… Read full post »

Random and out-of-order Dad stories and pictures.  He totally thinks it's all Mom's fault my brother and I are so damn weird.

Like a lot of families in the country where there isn't garbage pick-up service, we (illegally) burned our trash in a burn barrel in the backyard.  This was&nb… Read full post »

I’m a bad American.

I completely forgot that Friday was September 11. 

See, I was in Ensenada, Mexico, building houses for Youth with a Mission/Homes of Hope.  My little brother’s company sends people down several times a year to do just that, and since they didn’t have e/… Read full post »

1. My name on my original birth certificate has a capital “A” in the middle. This was legally changed to a lower-case “a” two years later, but has still caused no end of official confusion over the years.

2. I once treaded water for 45 minutes at the YMCA pool when… Read full post »

This is a meme going around Facebook.  It's a bit on the teeny-bopper side, but still could be interesting.  Copy, cut, and paste into your own blogs with your own answers, because I want to know all about you, but not in a stalker kind of way.

1. Who was your… Read full post »

OK, Dad, you were right. There ARE things between New Orleans and Morgan City besides the swamps and a bunch of Cajuns. There are also sugarcane fields, trailers, primer-colored vehicles, bingo parlors, abandoned drydocked boats, United Holy Metal Building Churches of God, porno emporiums, Confederat… Read full post »

"Since his wife died, he has been in love with the birdbath.  Typical Southern sense of reality."--Flannery O'Connor, on her pet swan Mr. Hood. 

They've been preening, talking to, singing at, and generally showing off for this pretty birdie for over an hour now.

 … Read full post »

It seems we have forgotten two little rules that make the world go 'round smoothly.

 1.)  Don't get drunk and have sex with anyone you don't real-world know that well,

and

2.) Don't get drunk and have sex with anyone you have reasonable cause to suspect just might be crazier than you.… Read full post »

A reading from the Book of Leeandricus: 

Verily, I say unto thee, thou shall train up thy sons that that raiment which is clean shall be hung up on hangers or put in the drawers, and that raiment which is unclean shall be put in the hamper.  That raiment/… Read full post »