Leigh Bailey

Leigh Bailey
Location
Berkeley, California, United States
Birthday
February 02
Bio
A writer, a mother, working to upgrade from inate cynism to cautious optimism every day. All original work posted here is the sole property of the author.

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FEBRUARY 4, 2009 2:33AM

Tsunamis of Love: My 14 year old's glorious B'Day Card...

Rate: 17 Flag
So the backstory is, Lula woke up on my birthday and I was already awake. And she is a seething mass of hatred in the mornings, so she stomped into the bathroom as per usual, and I called out, “Good morning sunshine!” And she grunted back, as per usual. Then I said, “Don’t you have something to say to me?” And she yelled at me. And I said, “Are you sure you don’t have something to say to me?” And she growled, “OH GOD HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”So somewhere around 7 pm, when neither child had presented so much as a card or a picked bunch of dandelions, I called them both into the kitchen and told them that no matter how broke they were, their mother’s birthday was not to be ignored and left unmarked, and that I was disappointed in both of them.  This card was made soon after. I laughed and laughed and laughed. That has to be the most perfectly ambivalent teenaged card in the world. It has everything—poop, love, passive aggression, love, self absorption, love and hilarity. I couldn’t have been happier.  
Lula's birthday card, web version

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laugh, teenager, birthday

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In case this requires annotation, that's Lula in the bathroom, which is right next to my bedroom. That's me in bed, with the cat asleep at my feet. (It is not, contrary to popular belief, the remains of the brain I had had for dinner the previous night.) And that is Lula, au toilette, beaming me "tsunamis of love." Or something.
such sweet kids...obviously they love you. when i was a teen i actually felt awkward to say happy birthday or i love you or any other sentimental words to my mom, maybe that's how they felt too. it's no excuse, i know, but when you're a teenager you really couldn't understand yourself either.
Oh, I know. I wasn't really angry or hurt, honestly. It was merely an opportunity to give them a lesson about other people who aren't them, and how we are actually real and stuff.

But this card made up for everything. I swear, I shall cherish this on my deathbed.
heehee. enjoy the teen years while it lasts! :D
Hey, Leigh.... Happy birthday plus a day! I think you taught them something important. Even if the acknowledgement of another person's birthday is small... it means a lot to the recipient.
A very happy birthday and you remind me of my mom who was complaining for the better part of last year because I had gifted my father a pair of really expensive branded shoes while I had given her only some cash to spend.

Well in my defense, my mom is very difficult to please and I did not want to risk any expensive gift being given the cold shoulder. So cash seemed the sensible choice.
Thank you Moana! I'm not actually complaining, though. I'm laughing.
Great card. I'll never forget the day I told my 11 year old niece "you hurt my feelings." Before that, it never occurred to her that she could have an effect on an adult!
And she's a talented artist, too!
It was merely an opportunity to give them a lesson about other people who aren't them, and how we are actually real and stuff. I have one of those (a teenager) who could use one of those (the lesson) : Do you make housecalls? ;-D

Thumbed. And a happy belated birthday, Leigh! :-D
Give this back to Lulu on one hard birthday when she has kids of her own. You will be her hero!
That's a brilliant idea! This one is an absolute keeper, for sure. (My other favorite was made quite a few years ago, in which she declared me "beutifuller than Britny Spurs.")
". It was merely an opportunity to give them a lesson about other people who aren't them, and how we are actually real and stuff."

Everything about this made me laugh!
oh my. i can only dream of getting something so perfect in five years.
sorry i missed your birthday.
i'll try to make it up to you.
:^)
Sometimes you just HAVE to tell kids what is expected!
Happy Birthday, and best wishes for a great year!
"A Tsunami of love..." what a lucky woman you are. What a sweet child (with a clever sense of humor and an obvious artistic bent!). That card is a million times better than any card ever bought or sold anywhere on earth, and I hope you guys pull it out and show to HER tweener daughter (when she has one), some day in the future. Happy b-day btw.
The funny thing is, dc, when I laughed? She looked a little confounded. Pleased that I was pleased, of course, but she seemed to think it a little strange that I was nearly crying laughing.
Oh. my. god. A tsunami of love? That is somehow swirling from the john through the wall to your bedroom? What goes through the minds of teens? I mean, she could have had herself picking flowers and sending said tsunami through the sky as clouds or something. Or across the kitchen table via the steam from a hot-cooked meal. Or from one end of the couch through the flames of a fireplace to you in your sitting chair. But sitting on the toilet? This is fucking precious. Sorry for the profanity, but I absolutely love this girl.
Happy Birthday, Leigh! Lula is a treasure, but you knew that.
Lainey, YES! EXACTLY!

And I love her too.
She surely is, COS. The most delightful trial I've ever endured.
And don't you just love that you're just lying around in bed? I'm surprised there aren't any bonbons around. We were all home at xmas and found a card my sis gave my mom in fourth grade. It was titled "My Family" and had a page for each of us doing something that seemed to represent us. For my dad she had "Here's my dad, counting all his money," and sure enough, there he was like a fairy tale figure (Jack and the Beanstalk comes to mind) with piles of gold coins. For my mom? "Here's my mother, eating rolls." And there was my plump mother with baskets of buttered dinner rolls.
Happy belated Birthday. Handmade cards rock. Even if they come with a little "encouragement" from the recipient.
You must save this and show it to her when she has her first child!!!!