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lemonpulp

lemonpulp
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February 20
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writing my way to sanity, one post at a time. you can also find me at pulpyprose.com

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APRIL 18, 2010 2:47PM

Can you please not stand on my ass?

Rate: 11 Flag

I'm standing in line at the grocery store, patiently waiting for the coupon debacle ahead of me to be resolved, and suddenly I've got three people standing right on top of me. There a few things I hate more than an invasion of my personal space by complete strangers. Walking through crowded places, it's expected and not an issue. But when I'm in line, I don't want to feel or smell your breath. Imagine there's a bubble around each of us. And if you step into my bubble, you'll be electrocuted. I don't know when invading another's personal space became acceptable. I've had moms push their kiddie shopping cart into the back of my feet. I've stepped back to get around my cart, only to find myself stepping on someone's foot. And every time, these people look at me like it's my fault! Are you shitting me? If you catch me at a time when I haven't had anything to eat or caffeine, well you're just asking for trouble. Don't get so goddamned close! I don't want to be able to discern which brand of deodorant or soap you use, assuming of course that you use any. And if I'm using my ATM, I sure as hell don't want you on my ass looking at my PIN. This total disregard for the personal space seems to be symptomatic of our society's lack of respect for other people in general. Are you going to get through the checkout line any faster if you're on my ass? No. But you are likely to end up with me stepping back on your foot just to prove a point. And it's the same with drivers. Get off my bumper or prepare to be boxed in next to some other slow car. I will slow down when someone rides my ass. And when you zip around, just to speed up to the red light, you can bet your ass I'll be laughing at you.

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Comments

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I give you a big giant hell yes!
You are right, it is a lack of respect for others and there is nothing I hate worse than that.
Absolutely. The world is increasingly.... inhospitable.

Rated -for repeated use of the word ass. Always a pleasure to see "ass" used in this way.
i used to have a husband, who didn't want to drive, who sat shotgun and told me how to drive instead.
"don't let that guy get around you!"
"speed up or they can pass!"
"put on your blinkers and change lanes, or he will get in front!"
i don't get it, maybe it's a guy thing.
thumbs up--i can now whack people like this with my cast!
I know, right?

"And if you step into my bubble, you'll be electrocuted."

If only that were real...
Ha! You took the words right out of my mouth. Where did all the consideration go?
Lezlie
Perfectly logical reasons for growing a bigger ass if you ask me. I like to give the little (longer than necessary) inquisitive glare when someone invades my space. Hold their gaze. It works like magic and you won't ruin your shoes by getting their energy on them like you do if you step on their feet.
You're preaching to the choir here!
Don't get me started!
LL2 - I know, right? People...

Torman - it's things like this that limit my time out in public. I wouldn't want to get arrested because I've gone off on someone who's invading my space.

fernsy - inhospitable is a kind word for our world. always glad to throw in a few "asses" where possible.

dianaani - my partner does the same thing to me. drives me nuts. either you drive or you shut up.

mypsyche - can i borrow your cast the next time i go shopping? feel better!

cap'n - if the electrocution bubble did exist, people would learn real fast. too bad i can't put shock collars on others.

L - consideration went out the door many, many years ago. i'm not sure what it would take to bring it back.

o'really - growing a bigger ass might not be a bad idea. i've done the glare, but it tends to go unnoticed by the oblivious morons i'm seem to attract when in line.

cuss - join the fray! maybe i could bring a canadian goose with me to the store and set it loose.
Next time, try farting. Works for me.