I'm standing in line at the grocery store, patiently waiting for the coupon debacle ahead of me to be resolved, and suddenly I've got three people standing right on top of me. There a few things I hate more than an invasion of my personal space by complete strangers. Walking through crowded places, it's expected and not an issue. But when I'm in line, I don't want to feel or smell your breath. Imagine there's a bubble around each of us. And if you step into my bubble, you'll be electrocuted. I don't know when invading another's personal space became acceptable. I've had moms push their kiddie shopping cart into the back of my feet. I've stepped back to get around my cart, only to find myself stepping on someone's foot. And every time, these people look at me like it's my fault! Are you shitting me? If you catch me at a time when I haven't had anything to eat or caffeine, well you're just asking for trouble. Don't get so goddamned close! I don't want to be able to discern which brand of deodorant or soap you use, assuming of course that you use any. And if I'm using my ATM, I sure as hell don't want you on my ass looking at my PIN. This total disregard for the personal space seems to be symptomatic of our society's lack of respect for other people in general. Are you going to get through the checkout line any faster if you're on my ass? No. But you are likely to end up with me stepping back on your foot just to prove a point. And it's the same with drivers. Get off my bumper or prepare to be boxed in next to some other slow car. I will slow down when someone rides my ass. And when you zip around, just to speed up to the red light, you can bet your ass I'll be laughing at you.
Lemonpulp 2.0
New and Improved Formula
lemonpulp
- Location
- California,
- Birthday
- February 20
- Bio
- writing my way to sanity, one post at a time. you can also find me at pulpyprose.com
MY RECENT POSTS
- Dante’s Purgatory –
Commuter Edition
May 24, 2012 08:15PM - Torn
May 13, 2012 09:07PM - Spent
May 07, 2012 09:01PM - Musical Musings – That I
Would Be Good
May 02, 2012 08:17PM - Unspoken
May 01, 2012 12:19AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “so sorry. love to you
and your family”
1:42PM - “i see this and think "i
wander how it tastes
sautéed
with some
garlic…”
1:06AM - “NOMINATION
SECOND
i second
robert crook's post. well
written and it brings
up
poin…”
11:55PM - “kinda sounds to me like
you're the one foaming and
hating
here dude. i'd
suggest…”
May 27, 2012 12:10AM - “great piece. i used to
wonder the same thing about
old
friends. we just never
kno…”
May 24, 2012 11:30PM
Lemonpulp's Links
- Short "Fiction"
- Alone
- He Never Said I Love You
- Night Journeys
- The Chase
- They Come at Night
- "Humor"
- Just Call Me Grace - Part 2
- Just Call Me Grace
- Old Age Saves Man from Verbal Ass-Kicking
- The Proper Care and Feeding of Marketing Writers
- Shakespeare Reimagined: Cranky Cuss and "Juliet"
- Can You Please Not Stand on My Ass?
- Pet Peeves of a Neurotic Writer
- Ode to Yard Work
- Glee Recap
- Music
- Musical Musings - On My Own
- Musical Musings - Who Wants to Live Forever
- Musical Musings - American Pie
- Musical Musings - Alison
- Musical Musings - Xanadu
- Musical Musings - Casey Kasem
- Musical Musings - Love Moves in Mysterious Ways
- Musical Musings - Bohemian Rhapsody
- Musical Musings - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Musical Musings - Love Trio
- Auditory Torture
- Hallelujah
- Hodge-Podge
- The Terminator Can Kiss My Ass
- Sexism Alive and "Well" in the Workplace
- Taking the Prima Donna Out of the Athlete
- Celebrity Tragedy and Perspective
- Twas the Night of Black Friday
- Looking for Role Models in all the Wrong Places
- Putting a face on California Furloughs
- Throw the Bums Out
- RNC's Irresponsible Spending
- Personal Narratives
- [Insert Label Here] - A Commentary
- Me and My Shadow
- So, are you really a lesbian?
- The Quiet Hero
- The Woman Who Taught Me to Rock
- I'm a Bad, Bad Blogger
- "Let the light of my eyes guide you."
- What I See
- I Am More than My Gender
- How is More Love in the World a Bad Thing?
- The Road Not Taken
- Silence
- Reminiscing
- I Don't Need No Stinkin' Cable
- I'm 36 and I Still Think there are Monsters Under My Bed
- Are those my civil rights in your pocket...
- Thank You, Anne Lamott, Wherever You Are
- Why I Write
- Tell Your Demons to Keep it Down. I Can't Hear My Voices.
- Born-Again Lesbian
- Compromising Positions: A Holiday Tradition
- Ghosts of Boyfriends Past
- Dear God
- Oh My God! I've Become One of Them
- Tales from the Office
- It was a Dark and Stormy Morning
- By the way, we added some skills to your resume
- If Dante Were Alive Today: Office Purgatory
- Fiction - Carry Me Swiftly to Salvation
- Part 5
- Part 4
- Part 3
- Part 2
- Part 1
- Book Stuff
- Why Everyone Should Read Gregory Maguire's Wicked
- 10 Most Influential Books
- Examiner.com column

Salon.com
Comments
Rated -for repeated use of the word ass. Always a pleasure to see "ass" used in this way.
"don't let that guy get around you!"
"speed up or they can pass!"
"put on your blinkers and change lanes, or he will get in front!"
i don't get it, maybe it's a guy thing.
"And if you step into my bubble, you'll be electrocuted."
If only that were real...
Lezlie
Don't get me started!
Torman - it's things like this that limit my time out in public. I wouldn't want to get arrested because I've gone off on someone who's invading my space.
fernsy - inhospitable is a kind word for our world. always glad to throw in a few "asses" where possible.
dianaani - my partner does the same thing to me. drives me nuts. either you drive or you shut up.
mypsyche - can i borrow your cast the next time i go shopping? feel better!
cap'n - if the electrocution bubble did exist, people would learn real fast. too bad i can't put shock collars on others.
L - consideration went out the door many, many years ago. i'm not sure what it would take to bring it back.
o'really - growing a bigger ass might not be a bad idea. i've done the glare, but it tends to go unnoticed by the oblivious morons i'm seem to attract when in line.
cuss - join the fray! maybe i could bring a canadian goose with me to the store and set it loose.