Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

APRIL 18, 2014 1:21PM

The Website Will See You Now

When your day's full of aches & pains

And no longer a slice of kugel

You can look for immediate gains

By consulting Dr. Google. Read full post »
APRIL 17, 2014 10:06AM

Dream On, Driver

I've always wanted a garage

Like all of my suburban friends,

A parking place that's no mirage

But always there--for their odds and ends.
APRIL 16, 2014 12:13PM

Table Talk

"We've had cold meals

Since our marriage began,"

I said.   She said,

"So heat the can." Read full post »
APRIL 15, 2014 11:57AM

High-Rise Home For High-Stepping Cops

Horses Moving Into Luxury Building
--New York Times


A horse is a horse--except in New York
Where it's entitled to live
Just like the billionaire next door
Who strains his stocks through a sieve.

Read full post »
APRIL 15, 2014 9:41AM

Sign Of the Crimes

You know you've found a steal

In black-and-white or braille

When you come across a deal

That says "Pre-Fire Sale."
APRIL 14, 2014 12:03PM

Tantrum Yoga

I lose my temper


And yet it always

Returns to me.

My "welcome home"

However's spurious

For deep inside

I'm really furious.
APRIL 13, 2014 11:25AM

Looking Glasses

They're lined and baggy,

Red-eyed, unclear--

Where are the mirrors

Of yesteryear?
APRIL 12, 2014 3:39PM

Sunny Stratagems

Golden sunshine in spring,

More welcome than bling.

Summer sunray grenade,

Time to make for shade.

APRIL 11, 2014 9:51AM

Wanted: No Calls

Enforcement of law

Has turned twisted--

Local cops

Keep their phone unlisted.



  Read full post »

APRIL 10, 2014 11:51AM

With The Best Inventions

Build a better mousetrap

And this is what's in store:

The IRS will beat

A pathway to your door.
APRIL 9, 2014 11:11AM

Keeping A Car In Brooklyn

Two hundred fifty smackers

Is the monthly fee I face.

Not much for a car, you argue.

That's for my parking space!


I know what you're thinking, I do,

And believe me, I really feel it.

What you're saying about this pit

 Is whyRead full post »

APRIL 8, 2014 6:34PM

All Through the Night

The reason I'm snoring

Is not very deep:

My dreams are so boring,

They put me to sleep.
APRIL 5, 2014 10:35AM

Sybarite's Lament

Partying is such sweet sorrow

When you know there's none tomorrow.
APRIL 4, 2014 4:29PM


My barber used to chew my ear

Mostly about Obamacare

Whenever I paid him to cut my hair

Till finally I had no choice

But for divorce from his nonstop voice

So that I took to cutting my own

Enjoying the silence of being alone 

And now my hair's a good dealRead full post »
APRIL 2, 2014 11:10AM

Yankee Doodle Bandy

He's a Yankee Doodle Bandy
Yankee Doodle I adore
A sweet Jack Russell who is loved by all
And a companion plus more.

He needs a Yankee Doodle sweetheart
Who will be his loving mate
Yankee Bandy lives in Brooklyn
Where he runs and scampers
Hoping to change his single

Read full post »
MARCH 31, 2014 5:25PM

Fritter Twitter

Fast food menu items

Of the Arab and Israeli

Derive from chickpea principles

Of ancient falafely.
MARCH 30, 2014 3:55PM


Bandy, my Jack Russell pal,
Is all over the house,
On ceilings, walls and floors,
Enough for a saint to grouse.

It's not just the surroundings
Of which I'm talking about,
For Bandy's omnipresent
In me as well, no doubt.

MARCH 29, 2014 1:01PM


Brooklyn's Barclays Center has a tiny meditation room intended for quiet reflection amid the din of Nets games. -- New York Times

The Nets are winning, or maybe losing,

The fans are screaming, maybe boozing,

The players are preoccupied today

With their million-dollar take-home pay,

The arena caresRead full post »
MARCH 26, 2014 6:13PM

Qwerty Strikes Back

Keyboards need consideration,

In this huge computer nation.

Treat the sacred alphabitties

With respect in all tech cities.

Coffee, donuts and malted milk

Diss your keyboard, like all their ilk.

Eating peanut butter on Ritz

Demonstrates you're on the fritz,

Nutty as a Christmas
Read full post »
MARCH 26, 2014 1:31PM

Candied Confession

Modesty's my middle name,

Accounting for my lack of fame
The book of poems that I wrote

Assured I'd be of little note.

The title certainly didn't avail me--

Anyone remember "Words Fail Me"?
MARCH 26, 2014 12:02PM

Seasonable Unreasonable

Spring has sprung

And though it's young,

Winds are blasting,

Branches outcasting.

Good thing there's no

Face-slapping snow,

Says weather wizard--

That'd be a blizzard!

MARCH 24, 2014 9:59AM

Biblical Lesson for Father's Day

Lot's daughters got him high on pot,

Which is how he came to love them a la Lot.
MARCH 23, 2014 11:43AM


If successful

The film "Noah"

Will be sequeled

As "Moah Noah."
MARCH 21, 2014 11:41AM

The Sport of Realty

Forest City got the land, and the Barclays arena, thanks in large part to $305 million in public subsidies. In exchange, the developer promised jobs, affordable housing--2,250 units--and $100 million for a rebuilt rail yard. Much of that has yet to materialize. --New York Times

Promises, promisesRead full post »

MARCH 18, 2014 4:01PM

Spring, Bud

Hocus pocus

The seasonal focus

Shifted to the crocus

As sunshine woke us

In our now-warm locus.