Four pricey bikes I had,
Each one gone--stolen,
Leaving a hole in the heart,
A Grand Canyon in the colon.

Chains helped not a whit
Nor did Yale-grad locks;
Where I'd parked my bikes
Stood only hell, approx.

No. 5 would not
Disappear, I vowed,
Measures would be taken,
I would not be cowed.

First I took the seat
With me after parking
Followed by both wheels--
My brain was finally sparking.

It worked.  These proved to be
The right things to subtract
And my beloved 5
Stayed where put, intact.

Building on this success
I expanded on my experience,
Making positive-sure
Of no possible variance.

I traded in my bike
For a splashy Caddy,
One that'd never fall
Victim to a baddie.

When I park my steady,
With me come the wheels--
Here's a vehicle
Nobody ever steals.

For proof my system's sound,
All you auto buyers,
Have me to your apt.
(Got room for the four tires?)