--Away from home and alone--
Another, though surrounded by kin and friends
In person or on the phone.
It comes around just once a year
--No calendar required for this one--
And is celebrated by those you hold dear
Who think nothing's finer than this one.
But beware the tragic consequences
Of the cake that may be hateful
And might just overturn the table,
Morphing natal into fatal.
For an extensive demographic study
Covering all on Earth,
Has found the most common day of death
Corresponds to one's date of birth.
So consider shunning the birthday party
Opting for instead
Twenty-four hours of life insurance--
Staying safely in bed.
Happy Unbirthday to you,
And to each of your crews,
Happy Unbirthday to you
And spread the good news!