They don't make 'em like they used to,
Stan Hall likes to say;
Somehow--and on every occasion--
Things were better the old way.
Take cars, says steamed Stan Hall,
With their fancy computers and stuff;
Without a throttle to work,
Starting in winter's real tough.
And trousers, now worn without cuffs,
Just sliced at the bottoms like toenails;
They're obviously incomplete
Like a man or woman with no nails.
Do I need to mention women's dresses,
Says Stan Hall, growing red in the face;
They start-- and end--at the navel,
A public and private disgrace!
The medical diagnosis
Explaining his compulsive wheeze
Is one connected to aging
And is called oldtimer's disease.