Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

JULY 24, 2014 12:33PM

A GM Car

I can't recall if I ever had one,

For which I'm appalled,

But if I did, can't be any doubting

It's been recalled.
Read full post »

JULY 23, 2014 10:54AM


Interns never let up

(All eager beavers),

Yearn for epidemics,

Grateful for small fevers.
JULY 21, 2014 6:24PM

Mystery Map

The Metropolitan Museum
Provides a map right next
To every elevator door
For those who are perplexed

And wonder where's the enormous room
With bleached-white statuary
And how do they find medieval art
That boldly says Hail Mary,

And where's the novel exhibition
Of ancient instruments
Along with 19th ceRead full post »
JULY 20, 2014 11:48AM

The Rain It Raineth Maybe

"I think it's raining,' she said,

And of course that's her prerogative.

My reply was,  "I think it's not--

Do you think I'm being negative?" Read full post »
JULY 18, 2014 12:51PM

Incarnation Ploy

Circumstances may defeat you

Now and then.

If at first you don't succeed,

Die again.
JULY 17, 2014 12:49PM


I think I too'd

Sob like a griper

If I were glued

To a soggy diaper.
JULY 16, 2014 11:48AM

O Laud

The mother always

Praising her moppet

Makes you want to

Scream out, "Stop it!"
JULY 14, 2014 5:56PM

A Dog Named Dynamite

The dog ate my homework, and that's not all--

He followed that with my soccer ball,

And bolder yet, he swallowed the kite

I grabbed for my own in a schoolyard fight.

Then too, the shoes I'd planned to wear

If ever I went to a dance somewhere,

Along with my favorite pair of goggles,

Cutting edge,… Read full post »
JULY 13, 2014 12:13PM

English Wins the World Cup!

In Holland every boy and girl
Learns English in the crib
Deferring Dutch until they ditch
The diaper for a bib.

That's slow compared to what goes on
In any Swedish room
Where English is absorbed by kids
Directly in the womb.

Now how did this language ever become
The one that's globally heard?
By being hypeRead full post »
JULY 12, 2014 11:14AM

Posting for Emily Post

Would an eat-in bathroom

Not too overstated

Be degenerate

Or sophisticated?
JULY 11, 2014 5:41PM

Toast With Chicken Soup

Adelman's Kosher Deli in Brooklyn is owner-run by Mohamed Salem,

an Egyptian immigrant.--news item
Salaam aleichem, Salem,                 
Honored salami man,
Your deli's worth the voyage
Over the BrooklynRead full post »
JULY 10, 2014 9:52AM


A quaint concept

(Prized in Pasaic)

That the Internet

Rendered archaic.
JULY 9, 2014 11:32AM

The Rhinoceros

Just because the rhinoceros's
Skin's as thick as stew
Simply doesn't mean that he's
Less sensitive than you.

Every flashy artistic type
In New York that I know
Could well learn humility
From the fleshy rhino. 

Read full post »

JULY 8, 2014 10:22AM

A Dog's Best Friend

As I was standing on the street

As quiet as could be

A dog with spectacles and cane

Mistook me for a tree.
JULY 7, 2014 12:23PM

Sage Advice

Sprinkle parsley

JULY 6, 2014 2:51PM

Making Light of Red Lights

Red's above and green's below,

Red means stop and green means go.

Hardly news to four and fivers

Though it may shock grownup drivers
JULY 5, 2014 1:03PM

Walking & Driving

Walking in suburbs
Won't take you far--
Journey consists of
Home to car.

Driving in metro
Too lacks hoorays--
Move side to side
Alternate-park days
JULY 3, 2014 11:14AM

A Pronounced Difference

The English enjoy a languid measure

Of leisure

While we're propelled into a seizure

By leisure.
JULY 2, 2014 11:58AM

Goal: To Stay Awake

A mob runs from left to right,
Reverses its frantic course,
And this goes on and on
Like a wayward rocking horse. 

The bustle has many names--
Ennui, excitement blocker,
The blahs, the doldrums, ho hums,
Sheer boredom and (yawn) soccer. Read full post »
JULY 2, 2014 10:39AM

Kidverse: Tooty Foody

Whenever you eat,
The thing to do
Is make like a train
And chew, chew, chew.


Your engine will run
Like a crackerjack
Full speed ahead
Along the track.

Chew-chew-chew-chew… Read full post »
JULY 1, 2014 3:52PM

The Fad's the Thing

"Organically grown"
Suits you, dude?

Grannie, you know,

Called it "food." Read full post »
JUNE 29, 2014 1:55PM

Drop That Dip

A dish of flavored melted cheese

Is one I'll never miss,

And so I'll go and bid a fond-

ue farewell to the Swiss.
JUNE 27, 2014 11:11AM



Sheep, you may not know, have problems

Sleeping, unlike leopards,

Which they deal with best they can,

Patiently counting shepherds, Read full post »
JUNE 26, 2014 5:03PM

It Tykes A Yuppie

Gym-rat yuppie parents
Raise their kids with care
Regulating their conduct
And nutritious fare.

Valuing lifelong fitness
They make certain that
Kids transition quickly
From diapers to yoga mat.
JUNE 25, 2014 8:02PM

Leap to Sleep

Randy seniors

Feeling their oats

Tossing and turning

Count old goats.