Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

AUGUST 4, 2014 11:52AM

Doubling the Chances

Statisticians tell us
Winning the lottery
Is just about as likely
As a hit in a lightning spree.

Following the logic
Of possibility
I'll buy a ticket and head for
A lightning at-risk tree.
AUGUST 3, 2014 11:38AM

Cubicle Culture

Not so long ago
Office workers spent
Hours on the phone
Gabbing at heart's content.

Now the hours whiz by,
Fingers flying speedily
Wholly given to
Facebook, hyper-needily.
AUGUST 2, 2014 11:30AM

Facebook Defenses

There are things you cannot say
On Facebook's guarded pages,
Things that're naughty and crude
And have been through the ages.

As well on the no-no list,
More treacherous than a knife,
What the FB algorithm 
Quick-nukes--GET A LIFE. Read full post »
AUGUST 1, 2014 5:40PM

The End Came Near

The world nearly collapsed
This cloudy, humid morning
With an ominous portent
Apocalypse is aborning.

All hopes of global communion
Were close to being nixed
When Facebook thundered this message:
"We're working on getting this fixed."

And why were livesRead full post »
AUGUST 1, 2014 11:49AM


Ms. Now American
Does multitudinous things
And makes you wonder if
She does it using wings.

She works from 9 to 5
After getting the kids to school
And then returns to cook
Still looking like a jewel.

She helps elect to office
The folks who seem progressive
And writes to magazines
On bills she deems impressive.Read full post »
JULY 31, 2014 9:02AM

What Are Words Worth?

My heart leaps up when I behold

A cardiologist counting gold.
JULY 29, 2014 12:53PM


I think that I shall surely flip

If any thanks me for a tip.
JULY 28, 2014 12:12PM

Part-Time Paradise

The joys of parenting

Come in many ways

But are often delayed

Till grandparent days.
JULY 27, 2014 12:48PM

Stirring the Same Pot

Let States Decide on Marijuana
--column in today's New York Times

It's been said before

Without much bravery

When the question was

What to do about slavery.

But again we find

What none can deny,

This nation can't exist

Half uptight and half high.
JULY 24, 2014 12:33PM

A GM Car

I can't recall if I ever had one,

For which I'm appalled,

But if I did, can't be any doubting

It's been recalled.
Read full post »

JULY 23, 2014 10:54AM


Interns never let up

(All eager beavers),

Yearn for epidemics,

Grateful for small fevers.
JULY 21, 2014 6:24PM

Mystery Map

The Metropolitan Museum
Provides a map right next
To every elevator door
For those who are perplexed

And wonder where's the enormous room
With bleached-white statuary
And how do they find medieval art
That boldly says Hail Mary,

And where's the novel exhibition
Of ancient instruments
Along with 19th ceRead full post »
JULY 20, 2014 11:48AM

The Rain It Raineth Maybe

"I think it's raining,' she said,

And of course that's her prerogative.

My reply was,  "I think it's not--

Do you think I'm being negative?" Read full post »
JULY 18, 2014 12:51PM

Incarnation Ploy

Circumstances may defeat you

Now and then.

If at first you don't succeed,

Die again.
JULY 17, 2014 12:49PM


I think I too'd

Sob like a griper

If I were glued

To a soggy diaper.
JULY 16, 2014 11:48AM

O Laud

The mother always

Praising her moppet

Makes you want to

Scream out, "Stop it!"
JULY 14, 2014 5:56PM

A Dog Named Dynamite

The dog ate my homework, and that's not all--

He followed that with my soccer ball,

And bolder yet, he swallowed the kite

I grabbed for my own in a schoolyard fight.

Then too, the shoes I'd planned to wear

If ever I went to a dance somewhere,

Along with my favorite pair of goggles,

Cutting edge,… Read full post »
JULY 13, 2014 12:13PM

English Wins the World Cup!

In Holland every boy and girl
Learns English in the crib
Deferring Dutch until they ditch
The diaper for a bib.

That's slow compared to what goes on
In any Swedish room
Where English is absorbed by kids
Directly in the womb.

Now how did this language ever become
The one that's globally heard?
By being hypeRead full post »
JULY 12, 2014 11:14AM

Posting for Emily Post

Would an eat-in bathroom

Not too overstated

Be degenerate

Or sophisticated?
JULY 11, 2014 5:41PM

Toast With Chicken Soup

Adelman's Kosher Deli in Brooklyn is owner-run by Mohamed Salem,

an Egyptian immigrant.--news item
Salaam aleichem, Salem,                 
Honored salami man,
Your deli's worth the voyage
Over the BrooklynRead full post »
JULY 10, 2014 9:52AM


A quaint concept

(Prized in Pasaic)

That the Internet

Rendered archaic.
JULY 9, 2014 11:32AM

The Rhinoceros

Just because the rhinoceros's
Skin's as thick as stew
Simply doesn't mean that he's
Less sensitive than you.

Every flashy artistic type
In New York that I know
Could well learn humility
From the fleshy rhino. 

Read full post »

JULY 8, 2014 10:22AM

A Dog's Best Friend

As I was standing on the street

As quiet as could be

A dog with spectacles and cane

Mistook me for a tree.
JULY 7, 2014 12:23PM

Sage Advice

Sprinkle parsley

JULY 6, 2014 2:51PM

Making Light of Red Lights

Red's above and green's below,

Red means stop and green means go.

Hardly news to four and fivers

Though it may shock grownup drivers