Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

JULY 13, 2014 12:13PM

English Wins the World Cup!

In Holland every boy and girl
Learns English in the crib
Deferring Dutch until they ditch
The diaper for a bib.

That's slow compared to what goes on
In any Swedish room
Where English is absorbed by kids
Directly in the womb.

Now how did this language ever become
The one that's globally heard?
By being hypeRead full post »
JULY 12, 2014 11:14AM

Posting for Emily Post

Would an eat-in bathroom

Not too overstated

Be degenerate

Or sophisticated?
JULY 11, 2014 5:41PM

Toast With Chicken Soup

Adelman's Kosher Deli in Brooklyn is owner-run by Mohamed Salem,

an Egyptian immigrant.--news item
Salaam aleichem, Salem,                 
Honored salami man,
Your deli's worth the voyage
Over the BrooklynRead full post »
JULY 10, 2014 9:52AM


A quaint concept

(Prized in Pasaic)

That the Internet

Rendered archaic.
JULY 9, 2014 11:32AM

The Rhinoceros

Just because the rhinoceros's
Skin's as thick as stew
Simply doesn't mean that he's
Less sensitive than you.

Every flashy artistic type
In New York that I know
Could well learn humility
From the fleshy rhino. 

Read full post »

JULY 8, 2014 10:22AM

A Dog's Best Friend

As I was standing on the street

As quiet as could be

A dog with spectacles and cane

Mistook me for a tree.
JULY 7, 2014 12:23PM

Sage Advice

Sprinkle parsley

JULY 6, 2014 2:51PM

Making Light of Red Lights

Red's above and green's below,

Red means stop and green means go.

Hardly news to four and fivers

Though it may shock grownup drivers
JULY 5, 2014 1:03PM

Walking & Driving

Walking in suburbs
Won't take you far--
Journey consists of
Home to car.

Driving in metro
Too lacks hoorays--
Move side to side
Alternate-park days
JULY 3, 2014 11:14AM

A Pronounced Difference

The English enjoy a languid measure

Of leisure

While we're propelled into a seizure

By leisure.
JULY 2, 2014 11:58AM

Goal: To Stay Awake

A mob runs from left to right,
Reverses its frantic course,
And this goes on and on
Like a wayward rocking horse. 

The bustle has many names--
Ennui, excitement blocker,
The blahs, the doldrums, ho hums,
Sheer boredom and (yawn) soccer. Read full post »
JULY 2, 2014 10:39AM

Kidverse: Tooty Foody

Whenever you eat,
The thing to do
Is make like a train
And chew, chew, chew.


Your engine will run
Like a crackerjack
Full speed ahead
Along the track.

Chew-chew-chew-chew… Read full post »
JULY 1, 2014 3:52PM

The Fad's the Thing

"Organically grown"
Suits you, dude?

Grannie, you know,

Called it "food." Read full post »
JUNE 29, 2014 1:55PM

Drop That Dip

A dish of flavored melted cheese

Is one I'll never miss,

And so I'll go and bid a fond-

ue farewell to the Swiss.
JUNE 27, 2014 11:11AM



Sheep, you may not know, have problems

Sleeping, unlike leopards,

Which they deal with best they can,

Patiently counting shepherds, Read full post »
JUNE 26, 2014 5:03PM

It Tykes A Yuppie

Gym-rat yuppie parents
Raise their kids with care
Regulating their conduct
And nutritious fare.

Valuing lifelong fitness
They make certain that
Kids transition quickly
From diapers to yoga mat.
JUNE 25, 2014 8:02PM

Leap to Sleep

Randy seniors

Feeling their oats

Tossing and turning

Count old goats.
JUNE 25, 2014 9:01AM

Stormy Talker

An avalanche-in-waiting,

He'll pounce on mere "Hello."

One hasty word will do it,

And then look out below!
JUNE 24, 2014 10:56AM

A To Zzzz

Books on insomnia,

Treasures to keep!

Reading them always

Puts you to sleep.
JUNE 23, 2014 11:58AM

Cab In the Sky

I'm saving up for the ride

That is far but not to Cuba,

Instead to St. Peter's Gate--

I'm dying to go by Uber.
JUNE 22, 2014 5:02PM

Spock 'Em

Caring for babies

(If you got 'em)

Calls for starting

From the bottom.
JUNE 19, 2014 4:49PM

Iraq 'N' Roll On Your Own

The Sunnis and the Shiites
They been a-slayin'
These hundreds of years
Long's they been a-prayin'.

Should we go in
To stop the strife?
Ain't worth a one
American life.
JUNE 19, 2014 11:38AM

Change No-Change

You can't get a thing for a nickel

And a penny's a waste of time

But U.S. coins have their uses--

You can still turn a screw with a dime.
JUNE 18, 2014 10:54AM

Ring of Reality

As a boy I boxed, and so submit,

The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
JUNE 17, 2014 10:38AM

Snob's Guide to Cinema

The snob's alert to film awards,

To Oscars and the rest

Including the popular Golden Globes

That honor what's deemed best.

The cinema sniffer pays close attention

To movies praised to the rim

And adds each winner to a listing—


Read full post »