Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

FEBRUARY 2, 2014 1:04PM

Hearsury Rhyme

Have you seen the nothin' man,

The nothin' man, the nothin' man,

Have you seen the nothin' man

Who lives down Dreary Lane?

Yes, I've seen the nothin' man,

The nothin' man, the nothin' man

Yes, I've see the nothin' man

Who lived down Dreary Lane.

When he left, Read full post »

FEBRUARY 2, 2014 11:22AM

Three Sensibilities

History, psychology and geography account for three frames of mind in the U.S.:

The Yiddishe kop

The Goyishe kop

The Dixie cup
JANUARY 31, 2014 1:22PM

The Smart Shopper

The waiting game pays dividends
And saves you from the shopping bends--
Hold back a while and you will find
Bargains galore bringing joy unconfined
(Along with a host of other cliches
That are sure to stay with us always).
For instance, there's the four-posteRead full post »
JANUARY 30, 2014 12:15PM

The Minus Touch

Vincent hales from New Jersey,
Garden spot of the East,
Also land of the Mafia,
Whose rackets yield a feast.

Vinnie at age ten
Read about King Midas,
Morpher of things gold,
A gift that's sure denied us.

Read full post »
JANUARY 29, 2014 10:01PM

Temptation Summit

Eve was tempted by the serpent,
Adam by his Eve,
Solomon by the Queen of Sheba
In ancient Tel Aviv.

Shakespeare in the 1600s,
Hypnotized by movies,
Over-nighted in public houses,
Writing scripts for beauties.
Casanova suffered from
Itches he couldn't evade,
Flattering each high-born dame
JANUARY 28, 2014 5:58PM

Viral Arrival

On Viagra's debut

Men nearly senile

Found a way to renew

And again be virile.
JANUARY 28, 2014 12:54PM

New Taxis Not Yellow--Go To Brooklyn

Even now, yellow taxis

Scorn Brooklyn by the maxis.

Every one of the outer boroughs

Cabbies consider woes and no-goes.

Hark, however! Hark and hark,

Now we're happy as a lark--

Taxis making the Brooklyn scene,

All of them a Big Apple green,

Healing the antiquated rift,

Giving us a
Read full post »
JANUARY 27, 2014 2:40PM

Obamaian Likes

If you like your wife, you can keep her.

If you like your lemon, you can keep driving it.

If you like getting high, you can keep smoking pot.

If you like keeping the poor in their place-on line at a soup kitchen--you can keep voting Republican.
JANUARY 26, 2014 2:42PM

Wedding Rice

Informed people no longer throw
White rice at newlyweds
For they have read that rice (even brown)
Sends birds to hospital beds.

What then is safe to go and toss,
Just what do wed-guests need?
The nature lovers've givenRead full post »
JANUARY 24, 2014 8:45PM


Your password's your protection,

Your M.O. for goniff ejection

And therefore must be secure,

A guarantee that your

Online mail and secrets

Won't fall to thieving ferrets.

Attention must be paid!

Don't be the victim of a raid:

Use upper and lower letters

In combos forming fetters

And digits in hRead full post »
JANUARY 24, 2014 10:32AM

Coffee Roles

In middle age you shun
A cup of coffee past 5
Afraid it'll keep you up
However much you strive.

But not so in old age
For when it's time to dine
You have a cup in hopes
It'll keep you up till 9.
JANUARY 23, 2014 10:52AM

A.M. Rush Job

Leisurely meals without question
Whether here or there,
Make for smooth digestion,
But they're getting rare.

Breakfast now's a storm
Even for the bold--
"Cereal with milk's getting warm!
Coffee's getting cold!"
JANUARY 22, 2014 4:06PM

Rocking Chair For Two

A recent study finds that seniors have more

sex than their children or grandchildren suspect.

According to Chicago U.,

Which studied more than just a few

Old-timers — 70s to the 90s,

The folks we think of as heavyweighties —

Continue past their job career

To revel in the sexual sphere.


Read full post »
JANUARY 21, 2014 3:50PM

Cuddle Huddle Muddle

A hug bug is sweeping the nation,
Which could lead to one bug anew,
As it makes for the escalation
Of the passing-on of the flu.

To stave off those achies and pains
Resulting from coughs from a strafer,
Common everyday sense ordains
The swapping of selfies is safer.
JANUARY 21, 2014 1:19PM

Longing-For Latitude

Awaiting this pm's polar vortex,

A term that's foreign to my cerebral cortex

Though real enough to scare me silly

And make my voice approach the shrilly,

I ask myself if living at the Equator

Might not be somehow, somewhat greater

Than putting up with winter's fury

In cold New York or St. Louis, Missouri.

JANUARY 19, 2014 6:15PM

Winter Woe-Woe-Woe

Cold of course is the worst of it,

Freezing the body, every bit.

Snow by contrast is manageable

Long as there's a kid who'll till.

Then there's the force I'd love to rescind,

February's fiercesome wind.

Bare oak trees and browning grass

Bring no earthly joy, alas.

What I hate the most, however,

Way beyond any… Read full post »
JANUARY 18, 2014 2:18PM

Stuck in the Garden State

I think that I shall never see

A traffic jam called Chris Christie

And won't unless by some decree

I'm forced to move to New Jersey.
JANUARY 18, 2014 12:21PM

Motor Hell

Hell, as dreamt of by suburbanites,

(Not just a few but lots)

--That's where everyone drives a car

But there are no parking spots.
JANUARY 16, 2014 12:59PM

Fulltime Outrage

The Department of Labor classifies
Mothers-at-home as being
Fulltime working people
By its level of degreeing.

Many, like me, however,
Look at this and swear,
"It's fulltime-and-a-half!"
(Didn't I read that somewhere?)
JANUARY 15, 2014 12:45PM

Dear John tweet

I'll be seeing you, never.  #heretoday Read full post »

JANUARY 15, 2014 11:44AM

Nuts 'bout Nature

Got no quarrel

With no squirrel

'less that critter's

Crazy feral.
JANUARY 14, 2014 1:42PM


She hates his smoking cigs,
He hates her chewing gum,
But both were stubborn as hell
And neither would succumb

Till peace at last was declared
In their Park Slope aerie--
Each chews or puffs away
Out on their balcony.
JANUARY 12, 2014 4:52PM


My three-dollar 3D glasses
Have changed the way I see,
For I wear them all the time
Wherever I may be.

They've enhanced my whole perception
Of the visible world around me
By broadening reception
Of things that now astound me.

I never thought that sci-fi
Would change my reality,
Would make me into a Martian
Read full post »
JANUARY 10, 2014 6:30PM

Mama Said

"Cake is gonna ruin your appetite."

Well, waddya know, that's absolutely right.

Chocolate cake or lemon or banana cream

Fills you up and replaces lunch like a dream.

Add a cup or two of coffee or tea

And Belly Boy's OK till six, you'll see.

Then the coup de grace of this novel di-

et: Tuck into a… Read full post »
JANUARY 10, 2014 2:48PM

Washington Milestone

Half of Congress Members Now Are Millionaires

--New York Times

Everyone knows that money talks,

Academics and fools,

Now though it's become quite clear

Money also rules.