Leon Freilich

Leon Freilich
Park Slope, New York,
Ink, Inc.
Light verse is my medium For the war on tedium. Draw up a comfy chair, Give a look right here. What've you got to lose Other than the blues? Think of this as an app To make you a cheerier chapp.


Leon Freilich's Links

JUNE 7, 2014 3:29PM

Under New Managment

The profits from crime

Are grossly large

But crime wouldn't pay

With government in charge
JUNE 6, 2014 10:57AM

Cycler Reasoning

A guy in the know
Told me something I like:
Buy a hundred-dollar lock
And a fifty-dollar bike.

I did as he advised
–Already I’m reminiscing —
Day 1, the bike's secure
But the lock's gone missing. Read full post »
JUNE 5, 2014 11:58AM

White House Shape Shifter

Obama lifts and pushes and pulls 

While the Secret Service fawns,

For pumping iron's his morning must

Between presidential yawns. Read full post »
JUNE 5, 2014 10:00AM

Dining Al Desko

The trouble with al desko
Is that it leaves al messko.

And whether salad or sandwich,
Crumbs and mayo spell anguish.

Computer screen confining?
Emails don't mix with dining.

Your office is not a tomb.
Arise and circle the room.

Or get out and sniff the air
If you hickory dickory dare.

Two meals
Read full post »
JUNE 4, 2014 10:36AM

Ultra Fame

You've achieved a fame

That's lasting and true

When lunatics

Are convinced they're you.
JUNE 3, 2014 2:57PM

The Latest Con

Each con artist,

Each single rat,

Can't help believing

There's a sap for that
JUNE 2, 2014 9:49AM

Co-Op Doo-Wop

Under FEMA policy, co-ops are considered businesses and therefore ineligible for federal disaster aid. -- New York Times

Welcome to my home
(Business, I should say)--
Ten dollars, please,
If you want to stay.

Coffee and some pie,
Tea and madeleine?
This ain't no charity, bud-
Gimme another ten.

JUNE 1, 2014 1:24PM

Hear, Hear

You'll win the hearts of folks

No matter what their mores

By leaning forward, rapt,

While listening to their stories.
MAY 31, 2014 1:26PM

This Turtle

This turtle reads

Until he bleeds

From the eyes

In stark surprise

At what is written

By authors smitten

With his shell!

It can be hell

When one
Read full post »
MAY 29, 2014 10:37AM

Streets of Brooklyn Heights

Truman Capote and fruit compote  
Have something in common worth a note:

They both of them thrived in Brooklyn Heights

And both became hot tourist sites.

The Heights remains a big attraction

And gets a major-league reaction

Not onl
Read full post »
MAY 28, 2014 11:55AM

The Ferret

The ferret's disdained

And often Maced

Though its only fault

Is being ferret-faced. Read full post »
MAY 27, 2014 1:12PM

Dress For Life

Gun control is dead,
Deader almost than
Lots of innocent folks,
Child, woman, man.

One could-be solution
Standing in for the best--
Arm everyone with
A bullet-proof vest.
MAY 26, 2014 10:10PM

Dispossess Notice

My six-year-old's great

And don't mean to grouse

But what makes him say,

"Get out of my house!"?
MAY 24, 2014 12:50PM

Made For Each Other

She's a scold, he's a slob,

Maybe a calling, not a job.

He's a slob, she's a scold,

Married couple odd to behold.

Rubbing each the wrongest way,

Violence barely kept at bay.

Knotty problem for
Read full post »
MAY 23, 2014 10:08AM

Welcome To That Day

The 9/ll Museum gift shop
Sells goodies for everybody
Including plaster Twin Towers that are tasteful
And stuff that's somewhat gaudy.

The visitor can buy balloons
And toys for baby fun
And even hoodies and colorful caps--
Box cutters, anyone?
MAY 22, 2014 3:08PM

Ticket In the Park

The fine is for


Parking up

The wrong tree.
MAY 21, 2014 11:12AM


I bow to your success

With the new diet

But wish with all my weight

That you'd keep quiet.
MAY 20, 2014 2:20PM

Steely Smiles

Suburban kids

Won't show their faces

Unless they sport

A brace of braces.
MAY 16, 2014 11:29AM

Hark, A Non-Bark

I've tried and failed to teach my Bandy
To sit, to follow and fetch,
Resulting in a mite of frustration
Though not enough to kvetch.

At least he enjoys the walking jaunts
That make him the dogs' meow,
And I'm joyous too--just taught him to say,
How now, bow wow chow? Read full post »
MAY 15, 2014 9:53AM

Paying Genius Its Due

Admiring graffiti

Is no mean feati.

To most it's a blight,

An unseemly sight.

They long to sail

The graffitists to jail.

But that's just one view

And rejected by a few.

"It belongs in a museum,"

Say some who see 'em.
Read full post »
MAY 14, 2014 8:13PM

Motorists Don't Forget

Gov. Chris Christie may run for Prez,

That's his Right, as everyone sez,

But he won't be allowed, oh no siree,

To run across the G.W.B.
MAY 14, 2014 12:20PM


There was Heather and Mary and Joan

And Matilda and Dottie and Mame,

All unrecollected, all gone,

But I'll never forget What's-Her-Name.
MAY 13, 2014 1:08PM

Office Work

How sweet it is,
In fact sublime,
To surf the web
On the boss's time.

Of course there's work
To do without fail
But first comes your
Own email.

  Read full post »

MAY 12, 2014 3:30PM

Cut-Rate Commandment

Shoplifters to Get Tickets

--news item

Thou shalt not steal

His goods or mine

Or thou'lt be struck

By a tst-tsk fine.
MAY 11, 2014 6:04PM

Unbrella Fella

Ten roll-ups, one pearl-handed

(My  great-grandfather made it),

Six canes and thirteen foldups--

You name it, I've mislaid it. Read full post »