You know that old saying by anonymous, "Never say never..."  There is more to that shortened saying and it has been credited to Gloria Swanson:

"Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it."

My nevers are always shorter than I expect. Take online dating for instance. After the date disasters I experienced, I swore I would never attempt online dating again. I decided the best way to meet a man was in the old fashioned way, by chance, face to face.

Men are men no matter how you meet them. Crazy men are crazy no matter how you meet them. I met a crazy man face to face by chance. There is no method to madness or dating. 

I have learned that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince or you have to email a lot of frogs to meet a prince. Actually, forget the prince, I would settle for a sane man especially since I have no glass slippers to lose and I draw the line on poisoned apples and wicked witch curses. Still, I am working on navigating the nuances of online dating to avoid the horned toads and trolls.

I realized that some men have key and stock lines to signal their complex subconscious yearnings for female companionship. I know men think they have carefully hidden their deepest desires when they begin to correspond online but most men are painfully transparent.

If I don't find my prince or settle for a sane man, at least I have been amused by the lines thrown my way. The best advice I can give to anyone who tries online dating is: enjoy the online dating process, don't let it take up too much of your time and don't take anyone online seriously unless they give you ample reason to expect more than amusement.

The only other advice to give is to pay attention to the lines because these lines are being tried out on other people too. If they said it to you, they've said it to at least 10 or more others. Here are some of my favorite male lines and what to read between:

You are a sexy lady.  I'm never sure if this is supposed to be a compliment. Aren't there better ways to tell a woman that she is physically attractive? The man who uses this line is lazy and while attempting an archaic word of respect, lady, he is just saying that you look good enough for him to do you.

Let's have fun together. My idea of having fun is going dancing, hiking or to the movies. His idea of fun is getting naked and hitting a home run - and no, I'm not talking about nude baseball.

I give good massages. You will only get massages as long as he thinks he is going to get some. If and once you put out, he will want you to do all the massaging on select parts of his anatomy.

If we go to the beach, will you wear a bikini? Here is a man who thinks in terms of pin up models. Owning a bikini makes you automatically hot and wild. He is hoping he will get lucky while he gets off imagining you in a bikini.

You look younger than your age.  This is a man hung up on age. He most likely needs a younger woman for his ego and wishes he was younger. Still even though you are advanced in years, he thinks you still look good enough for him to have sex with, that is, if nothing better and younger comes along first.

I want to pamper a woman. Personally, I don't care to be babied. The word, pamper makes me think of diapers. When you press the man for his definition of pampering, he may respond by saying he will draw you a hot bath with rose petals. He is imagining you naked and getting more than a bath and fresh diapers.

I'm looking for that special someone. What this man is saying is that he has a long list and that special someone looks like Angelina Jolie although he doesn't look like Brad Pitt. If you are lucky enough to be selected by this man, you will be special until the hazy afterglow wears off and he sees you aren't Angelina Jolie after all.

I'm ready to settle down. This man is desperate. He can't handle being alone. He has probably missed several great opportunities while looking for someone special and now he is feeling old but younger women aren't giving him the time of day. He will take anyone but may change his mind once he has sex with a woman instead of his hand while imagining having sex with Angelina Jolie or some other female sex goddess icon.

Those men who are ready to settle down scare me. I'm not ready to settle down unless I meet someone I want to settle down with and settling down is not an end goal for me. I want to go on dates with men. Please note that both the words, dates and men are plural. 

Recently, I did have one good date with a considerate man. We met at a town that was convenient for me. We went on a cruise around a lake on a boat that had a live band and served drinks.  After the cruise, we ate at a nearby cafe. We spent several hours together and then he walked me to the car and kissed me good night.

This date was very nice but I'm not smitten - probably a good sign. My date asked me to go hiking with him sometime soon. I will definitely go on a second date with him especially since he didn't use any of the stock lines above and he did not turn into a horned toad when we kissed good night.