Maybe I'm the only woman who ever scheduled an abortion that really didn't want one. Maybe I'm the only woman who was pressured by family members, a close friend and the biological father to have an abortion. I must be a unique woman and the only one who has ever wished one of those people would have stepped up and said, "I will help you and support you in the decision to have this baby."

No, instead, I was the only woman in the whole country, maybe the whole world who was totally alone with the whole world having a total lack of belief in womankind. Women can not take care of children on their own because they need a man. Women are not capable of taking care of children without government assistance and other people. Women are weak and can not successfully raise children on their own. The only solution is an abortion because women can not be trusted to raise children without a man, the government and a whole host of other champions.

These negative statements (in the above paragraph) are what we teach each and every young generation of women. She needs a man. She needs the government. She needs a champion but that champion can not be her because she is not capable and she has no other choice. How can something be pro-choice when the only "progressively approved" option is an abortion and any woman who chooses the alternative of having the baby  is considered stupid, backward and a programmed Republican or religious fundamentalist?

What if  the woman just wants to keep and have her baby but she has no moral support from anyone? We have lost our humanity in our political zeal. We have also underestimated what women are capable of doing with their lives and that they can raise children successfully without a government handout, child support or a man. Do we really need women to do exactly what we think they should do to validate our own choices and lives?

When a woman is in a vulnerable situation, she may not be able to think straight or think she has any other choice but the popularly sanctioned abortion. Either way, keeping the baby or having an abortion is a lifetime choice. You live with that choice for the rest of your life or maybe, I once again am the only unique woman in the world and can not speak for any other women in saying that this "choice" can make all the difference in a woman's life but the choice should truly be the individual woman's choice to make.

Women are being bombarded with all kinds of highly commercialized and politically charged messages from birth, from the first time she sits in front of the TV or computer and now, more so than ever. I am glad to know that to some degree, those very damaging messages can be counteracted by a female parent single-handedly but first, a parent has to stand-up for, and do for her female child and herself. Women need to know that loving other women and caring for themselves is just as important as loving a man.

To some degree, I am amused that women think they are emancipated and empowered by abortions. Most often, an abortion is a procedure that is done to you as you lie in a prone position because you got pregnant accidentally and are at a very vulnerable point in your life. The majority of accidental pregnancies are because the birth control was left in the drawer or still at the drugstore. You made a mistake and now you have no choice but to have an abortion. How can this be considered a choice if this is the only option that is popularly acceptable?

Birth control is being taught in every public school but young women are still getting pregnant. Maybe we should also be teaching our daughters that they deserve to have a good, kind, considerate and nice lover everytime they have sex. Any decent boy will have a rubber on hand to cover his penis but before engaging in sex, that boy should have already proven himself to be a true friend and lover. Is that really too much for a young woman to expect - for us as heterosexual women to expect from a man who wants to stick his penis in us? Have we really lowered our standards that much in our emancipation and dare we expect our daughters to do the same to validate our poor choices in men?

I prefer my daughter to have a man that truly loves her and cares for her. From before she was born, I believed in women. I have wanted to love and support women and not compete with them but then, I am a special case in a world that does not appreciate what women are capable of doing on their own or that women can be strong without a man or the government to take care of them.

I can say that I have a daughter who makes me proud every day and has never given me sleepless nights except when she was a baby crying for me. I can say that I have a daughter who is a research scientist and engineer at a high-tech firm. I can say that I have a daughter that I raised without a man, without child support and without government assistance. I can say that when I gave birth to my daughter in 1988, I didn't have much money, rented a house with roommates, and did not know what I was going to do or how I was going to raise her by myself.

In 1987, at the beginning of my pregnancy, I called the Elizabeth Blackwell Center in Philadelphia. Back then, the center had not merged with Planned Parenthood yet. I was able to talk directly to a doctor who, after listening to me, told me that I could schedule an abortion but not immediately because I did not seem sure I wanted one. I am thankful that I could actually talk to a doctor and that whatever her political convictions were on the subject of abortion, she listened and heard me and what I wanted. Does the assembly line abortion service of Planned Parenthood today talk to women prior to an abortion and give time and objective counseling to women about all the options?

I thought of that Elizabeth Blackwell Center doctor when I saw the news reports on the 3 day wait in South Dakota. I wanted to thank her for telling me to wait and think. I was dismayed to find that the Elizabeth Blackwell Center in Philadelphia was no longer independent and had become a Planned Parenthood. No doctors are listed on the site for local contact information. I could no longer call this particular doctor directly if she is still working at the center. 

I have forgotten her name but I thought if I saw her name listed, I would remember it and be able to email her a photo of my daughter graduating from Worcester Polytechnic Institute with High Distinction in Electrical and Computer Systems Engineering. I wanted to tell her that my conversation with her was pivotal in my life and thank her for talking with me and giving me a chance to really think about what I wanted instead of what everyone else thought I should do.