If I want to get to heaven

I have to walk away from hell
AUGUST 26, 2011 10:39PM

Still and cold again

Rate: 30 Flag

 

How do you empty a heart? Surely mine must explode. If it's too full it will tear my chest apart. Where is a moment of mercy? A state of temporary Grace to rest.

It's too much. That must be why it's tight right up to my throat, and I can't breathe. I must have air, breath would be a relief.

It's too much to remember every day, I open my mouth to scream but my lips stay closed. Only a small sound comes out.

If my heart would burst, or I could scream, then maybe I could finally forget.

Then I would be free, to be still and cold again

 

 

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OOOoooo Heavy my friend. I am holding your heart in my hands and giving you warmth. I am there too and together we can start our hearts again. Love.
Blue, my friend, that was so deep. Let me know if you need to talk!
You need to let it all go for you dont your heart will surely burst..:(
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Hot damn! Someone is in the zone.
"How do you empty a heart?"
You are such a show off! Well played. R
Bleue, I pray for you the peace that passes all understanding. R
PS, I've missed you sooooooo much. Take care my friend.
So true. I love when your write poetry Bleue..
Dear Bleue, I will send you sweet breathing energy and lots of love tonight. You are the lovely lotus and a radiant mirror of love.
rated with love and peace
zanelle, hahaha, yes it's quite heavy but they're only words. Isn't the lotus gorgeous, it's luminous like sister moon.

scanner, I should probably get a shovel! No worries.

Linda, it's a strong heart and not likely to burst.

Thoth, perhaps I should sizzle more quietly.

Blu, I am truly well. I've had brief moments of a peace like that, nothing surpasses it.

rita, thank you, I like this one at the same time I don't. Strange isn't it?

Poetess, I am restless, a chill again would be nice.
luckily i solved that last night.
whatcha gotta do is disassociate.
while awake.
allow your subconsciousness to feel all the myriad of emotions,
and maybe
subvocally comment on them with a gruntOr some nonsense syllables. Let your subconscious
Rule your body. Twitch like a tourette’s victim.
Consciously?
Keep one ear on the tumult beneath.
The other on the next, I mean the very next, thought.

I wrote it in my journal like so:
“subconsciously react emotionally. To get to blankness. To access the fertile void”
Hope this helped
luckily i solved that last night.
whatcha gotta do is disassociate.
while awake.
allow your subconsciousness to feel all the myriad of emotions,
and maybe
subvocally comment on them with a gruntOr some nonsense syllables. Let your subconscious
Rule your body. Twitch like a tourette’s victim.
Consciously?
Keep one ear on the tumult beneath.
The other on the next, I mean the very next, thought.

I wrote it in my journal like so:
“subconsciously react emotionally. To get to blankness. To access the fertile void”
Hope this helped
How do you empty a heart?

... Then I would be free, to be still and cold again.

Powerfully written and deeply felt.

Bleue, my hand is always here ... even if to empty just a little of your heart into and keep safe for you until you need it back.
James, to allow the subconsious to access the fertile void is a beautiful thing. A friend gave me a gem, she said feel the emotion without attaching a story to it. She was right.

Kate, I really should give this heart to someone who doesn't have one, it's a good one and I rarely use it myself. Just kidding, I'm just feeling different these days, readjusting.
A change is as good as a holiday so they say, Bleue. Adjust away ... but know that you are loved and cared about whether different or not.
Kate, I arrived emotionally bankrupt, all accounts drained with no access to real love. I admit, it was safer, in many ways the last decade of sleep walking was easier, waking up was painful, is painful.

What the hell, I've never liked safe all that much. I'm not a machine, I'd rather be beautifully and frighteningly alive, and I'm good at it. I love you very much.
Life is frightening sometimes ... heck, it can be just downright terrifying sometimes. But being in the present ... living ... the good, the bad and the ugly ... is so much better than not.

Live well, Bleue. Love life and live well.

I do love you.
Don’t hold back!!

Let your heart fill up and burst!! It will be the best burst ever!! A zillion bits of heart-life - heart love will scatter throughout every corner of your being.

Go for it! It’ll be YOU multiplied by infinity!

What a joy that will be; all here who love you will sip at your radiance and glow in your happiness.

.
I can relate L'Heure Bleue. It is deep, it seems to be coming from a dark place, but that doesn't mean you deeply feel that right now.

Still, flow with it. Connect with the Infinite Universe, flow all the thoughts, feelings and emotions within you out into the Infinite and then connect it back to you with a trickle. If it seems like it fills the void, bless and thank it. If, in all that infinity, it seems to disappear, then it wasn't really real. It was just there to create the sense of what ever it was that you were feeling.

Okay, Metaphysics 101 done.

Like the imagery. Shoots straight and pulls no punches. Maybe not happy, but very nicely done.

-r-
Strong and hard like a blow to the soul. Fine, beautiful writing.
Rated.
There are all seasons in the heart. This too shall pass. Funny but not: I am literally freezing right now, in the body. that too is no fun. R
Bleue,


“Then I would be free, to be still and cold again.”

“I find comfort in melancholy,
When there’s no need to explain.”
-Joni Mitchell

This I understand; not so much the rest of what I see.

RATED
Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed. Want company?
Such an existential dilemma you pose: release, but purchased at the price of being "still and cold again." How to choose. I was remembering Paul Simon's "I Am a Rock" as I read. Thoughtful poem.
Both powerful and lyrical with so much longing.
Same as Scanner said! I sure as hell am here for you, dear.

Very cool poem.
heidibeth, thank you.

Kate, it's scary to show this side of me, really to even let it out. I'm done being half of me, I need to be all of me.

sky, hahaha, you do like dancing on the razor's edge. If I'm multiplied by infinity there might be so much radiant energy that the electromagnetic field is disrupted.

I'll be back in a few. Time for another cup of coffee and dance, I'm dull witted this morning.
dunniteowl, sometimes feeling alive is too intense and I long for the half dead state. Great suggestion on moving it out and only allowing it back slowly if it so chooses.

Scylla, momentary things. But then we live in the moment and sometimes it's a fist in the gut.

wendyo, I've had chills and felt on fire off and on. Strange summer.

Rick, just missing being shut-down emotionally, life in the painless, joyless state.

George, thank you.

Oarville Deadman's Locker, the name is perfect for my mood, hurry over.

Jerry, good call. I know the song, and the state of being well. "I build walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate..."

Miguela, words about longing for two things that oppose each other.

fernsy, I'm fine. Just speaking aloud, trying to capture or define feelings. Maybe if I don't keep throwing my words away, I won't keep throwing my feelings away.
I have no idea, but if I did, I would tell you. I would share that secret with the world. I've often wanted to know myself.
L'heure - Hang in there. It will heal, give it time.....
Like the lovely lotus, it's safe to be still. Lovely, poignant writing.
wow thia ia terrific r.
I wish you had added tags so I knew you were okay. You know I am here if ever you need me and I hope you find peace soon.
What a beautiful poem. I find I prefer mine full as most often it is not. I am glad to find in the comments that you are OK.
Razzle Dazzle, you don't want it. It's easier but it's like being the living dead. Keep that big fat heart and hopefully it will fill with joy.

Susie, I'm hanging darlin' I think it's part healing and part growing into myself. If that makes sense.

Rei, it's really a stunning image, calm instead of frozen.

Jonathan, it felt good to let it out. Thank you.

Lunchlady, I'm so sorry, I must remember to add tags. Just exploring myself a bit, peace comes in waves now. I'll take what I can get.

pastvoices, I hope to be like that too. I'd like to feel good when my heart is very full.

???There is an ad for something called a diamond dazzle stick. It's tubular but I have no idea what it is, or why they don't indicate what it is. Silly marketing plan, I'm glad it's on my post right now!
I love the first line so much. How do you empty a heart? I am going to have t ponder this...
Hayley, oh no you don't! You have a gorgeous heart, I just learned to fill mine up again so it would be beautiful too. We must learn discernment, and also to say no.