Since around the beginning of the year I've had numbness in my outside arms between the elbow and wrist and just thought it was because of all the typing I do. Then in June I fell while walking across the yard. I thought that since I had lost weight my shoes were just getting loose because the one on my left foot kept slipping off. I bought new, smaller shoes but it only helped for a few days and I realized, to my horror, that I couldn't voluntarily move my foot up and down. It goes side to side but I can't pull it up. It's called (duh!) foot drop or drop foot. Then I developed numbness in the sides of both legs just like what I had in my arms. Since then I'm losing the flexibility in the right foot and two fingers of my right hand are numb with a painful burning all the time. My legs are also in constant pain and I'm trying a new pain med right now. I hope I don't have any problems with it because I was able to sleep last night which I needed very badly.
I've been wearing a stretch band on my left foot to keep it up a little so I don't trip over my foot but I've fallen a few times which has been very humiliating. Now that my right foot is involved I'm going to have to wear braces on both of them but, at least, it's colder so I can wear jeans and they won't look too bad. I have two new pair of boots which help hold them into place. That's how I've still been able to dance recently but I've cut way back and by the end of the night I'm a bit wobbly and walk like I've had a bit too much to drink. Ha! My dancing is so crazy that nobody has probably noticed the difference. I've had several people ask me if I'm ok to drive when I've only had one drink.
At first the doctors thought I might have MS but a spinal tap ruled that out for now. I've had three MRI's of my back, a brain MRI, the spinal tap, nerve conduction studies, muscle studies and so many tubes of blood drawn that I've lost count. The neurologist that I was going to couldn't figure me out so sent me to a doctor at Shands who is looking for a vascular problem that could be responsible for killing off my nerves. Monday I go to a neuro-surgeon to get set up for nerve and muscle biopsies.
It's been a very scary, frustrating four months. I go out as much as I can to keep my mind off it and because I don't know how much longer I'll be able to enjoy my new life. I've had to cut way back on my night life because of the exhaustion and pain. In the past year I've separated from my husband, lost a lot of weight, started riding on motorcycles (love it!!), learned to dance and now this! I've always kidded that god hates me and now I realize that it's good that I don't believe in god because this much hate I wouldn't be able to understand. I've tried to cover it up as long as I could but it's becoming obvious that something's wrong when I go out and don't dance as much or leave early or just miss events altogether so I explained to a dear friend last week and he wrote back that I must be "under a lot of stress and twilight zone grade surrealisticallity". He made the word up but it's the closest that I can possibly come to my state of mind right now.
I had stopped writing on OS for several reasons but right now I need a place to put my feelings and work my way through this time in my life. I know I said I wasn't going to write any more sad-assed shit and, to be honest with you, I've gotten past the sad part and am just walking numbly through my twilight zone of surrealisticallity. (Thanks, Rick!)