Here in Kuala Lumpur on vacation, waiting for a new job to begin, I've had time for thinking, long conversations, and philosophizing.  In my dreams in recent weeks, I've been having long conversations with Carol Downer, the leader of the LA Feminist Women's Health Center where I worked in the mid-70's and was part of a book team that wrote a book on women's bodies and health care.

In surfing the web around Carol Downer, I came across a blog by Claudine Monteil, a feminist from France who was a writer with Le Monde when I met her on a political retreat in the mountains back in 1975.  We knew her as Claudine Serre.  And on this blog was the following story by Gloria Orenstein, which I've copied in here, along with my response.

My Existentialist Meeting with Helene de Beauvoir and How it Transformed my Life

Gloria F. Orenstein, Prof. of Comparative Literature

Univ. of Southern Calilfornia, Los Angeles, CA.

     It was during the year 1974—75 that I  first met Helene de Beauvoir, and our astounding encounter transformed my life.  At the time I was an Adjunct Prof. of English at Douglass College of Rutgers University where I taught a Senior Seminar on Women and Art.  I was also a divorced mother of two teen-aged daughters.  I knew that my job with only a one year contract would probably not be extended, and  I was in a period of extreme anxiety over all the problems that my situation posed, both financial, and also intellectual and social.

      One day I took my students to tour the art galleries in New York, and I discovered that Helene de Beauvoir was being included in a group show near

Greenwich Village.  At the gallery they informed me that Helene was in town, but that she had stepped out, and we had missed her.  We returned a half hour later, but we missed her again.  I took down the phone number of her hotel, and when I got home, I called her, and left a message.   I was hoping I might get to meet her in person.  When she returned my call, I was elated, and  I mentioned that I was teaching THE SECOND SEX in my course on Women and Art.   Helene was so happy to hear this, that she immediately, invited me to meet her at the hotel for tea.   She greeted me with great warmth, and asked me to tell her all about my life.

       I was in a moment of crisis.  I hesitated to tell her about all the problems I faced that year, but she insisted on hearing everything…. from the story of my divorce to my need for a permanent teaching job.  It was also possibly significant that my two daughters, the older with dark hair, the younger a blonde, seemed to remind her of Simone and herself in their youth.  An immediate affection and friendship developed between us.  Then, suddenly, she spoke the words that were to transform my life.  After reciting the litany of my problems, and expecting a sigh of commiseration, I was surprised when Helene said:  “Gloria, Congratulations on choosing your new life!  You can now create your future in freedom! This is a wonderful moment for you, and I wish you the greatest of success.!”  I was speechless. At once I realized that she had completely turned my story around—from one of a deepening crisis to one of existential liberation, and I was also well prepared to “hear” this version and to receive its meaning with the resonance of my academic understand of Existentialism.  I decided, on the spot, to take her up on this suggestion—to go forth and create my life in freedom and with all the optimism I had experienced as I listened to her speak.  I was already involved in creating The Woman’s Salon for Literature in N.Y., and at that moment I realized that I could reframe my life story, and see it as a time of transformation and liberation. It was an Existentialist, feminist CLICK!  

      Over the years our friendship grew. I visited Helene in Goxwiller and I created my salon in NY.   In 1978—79 , when I was directing the Rutgers Junior Year in France, I also created a salon in Paris, known as Le Lieu Dit, held chez Yolaine de Villemaire ,( known as Ygrecque), the first feminist writer published by Les Editions des Femmes. Le Lieu Dit was located near the Pantheon, and by day the “local”, her apartment, was a salon de the.   In the evening it became a feminist salon in the arts.    On weekends when we did not have a salon, I would go to visit Helene in Goxwiller, and I spent the Christmas and New Years vacation with her in Trebbiano.  Eventually Helene  traveled to

New York, and visited my salon on the occasion of the production of the Quebecoise text, LES VACHES DE NUIT by Jovette Marchessault, recited by Pot Pelletier.    In the eighties I was on a spiritual quest for The Cretan Goddess, and I later was to learn that some of Helene’s art about the Cretan Goddess had even been inspired by my ongoing search for the Goddess of the Minoan civilization.  Over the years we had several other occasions to meet and honor Helene’s work, such as a small conference  at USC where I gave  a paper on her work .   Several years later, as “le hazard objectif” reigned in my life  ever  since I had written about the Women of  Surrealism,  the younger generation had a  unique surprise in store for me for my younger daughter, Claudia, married a Prof. of Philosophy, whose field of specialization was Existentialism. 

    Eventually the couple visited Helene in Goxwiller, which was like a dream come true for my son-in-law.  It is absolutely obvious to me that had I not met Helene de Beauvoir that day in New York,  my life would have taken a different turn, and I would not have been released  from my crisis and launched on the path I have followed ever since. . It was Helene de Beauvoir  who liberated me to reinterpret my life in the light of Existentialism.  I will always cherish this memory, and be grateful to her for  her generoisity , her friendship, and for the integrity of her  Exisitentialist vision.  

Dear Ms. Orenstein: 

What a great story of a shift in perception.  It's serendipitous that I would be led to this website in a search for Carol Downer and my feminist roots, as I was just discussing this very possibility with a young woman in Kuala Lumpur today.  How we can seek out shifts in our perceptions that alter our reality... how I want to focus more on my being than on acting, and get a good balance between the two, even mastery, if you will, of shifting from enhanced beingness to actions that are ever more powerful because of the concentrated focus of the energy of pure beingness.  

This story is an account of such a moment, yes, precipitated by Beauvoir's response to your account of what you were facing.  I can't think of anything more empowering to women than to collect these kinds of stories and give a roadmap on how to make shifts like this, to encourage and support women to navigate their lives with more aplomb.

P.S.  Gimbutas' breakthrough work in archeology has inspired an interest in the Cretan goddess for me as well.  I even wrote a fictional account about Persephone and the mystery of her appearance in a cave in Mycenae once, unfortunately long lost, in the phase of my life when I was writing goddess stories.  You might have enjoyed reading those stories; I'm sorry they got wiped out in a computer crash.

I also wrote a goddess poem that I recited at a gathering of Serpentine in Berkeley, again, unfortunately also lost in one of many computer crashes.