L in the Southeast

L in the Southeast
Location
Atlanta, Georgia, United States
Birthday
November 04
Title
Retired PR Director
Bio
I am a retired Public Relations professional who now writes purely for fun and catharsis. I covered most of my memoir-type pieces in the first three years here. Lately I have dabbled in politics, current affairs, pop culture and movie reviews. Life is my muse.

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AUGUST 25, 2010 3:28PM

Think Off!

Rate: 40 Flag

Talk about having safe sex!  Apparently, humans are capable of treating themselves to the mother of all orgasms with no hands involved.  None.  Not his, not hers, not yours.

Sunday evening I was sleepless in Atlanta, an unusual event for me.  It was undoubtedly due to the fact that my computer had contracted a virus that had wiped out my browser, so I was unable to connect to the Internet.  For me, that's like taking the needle away from a heroin addict and locking her in her room.

I turned on the bedroom TV and found there was programming instead of an infomercial on TLC.  "Strange Sex" was the title of the program.  On the screen was a middle-aged woman with blonde and fuchsia hair.  Barbara Carrellas was discussing a technique she discovered for achieving an orgasm without genital stimulation.

Thinking off, according to Carrellas, is the process of combining deep breathing techniques with your personal thoughts to bring yourself to rhapsodic spasms of orgasmic Nirvana.  Ooookaaaay. 

While the story of this woman's efforts to share her discovery and to have it scientifically authenticated played out on the screen, my over-stimulated mind went to work dreaming up scenarios of the absurd.

How many times had I been trapped in the doctor's examining room waiting for Her Majesty to sweep through the door?  I had read all the magazines in the room six months ago when I was similarly trapped, and there were no windows to stare through.  Why not make use of the examining table to "practice my deep breathing?"

On the screen, Ms. Carrellas is conducting a class, teaching both men and women her technique of thinking off. 

"What a minute!" I think.  "This could get messy if guys do it."  So, I sit up in bed and pay closer attention.

In no time, people are writhing on their mats, laughing hysterically or moaning or almost crying.  But there were no visible signs of, um, completion on the men's frontal regions.

"I didn't ejaculate, but I experienced what felt like an orgasm over my entire body," said one guy in a post-orgasmic interview.  Whaaaat?  Naturally I think it's all BS, that this woman and her cohorts are full of it.

Not so fast, you skeptics.  TLC anticipated your mockery and derision.  Enter the white coats.  Yes, there is technology -- I've seen it on House -- that can graphically capture brain activity while a person is in the throes of ecstasy. 

Barbara Carrellas was slipped into the imaging contraption and asked to do her thing.  Two doctors sat behind image screens watching her brain activity as she worked herself into a frenzy.  Sure enough, it was Christmas in Carrellas' amygdala, the part of the brain that registers pleasure.  In fact, the effect was so intense that Carrellas went right on screaming and writhing long after the doctors told her the test was over.

Of course this discovery, if widely practiced, could change the sex lives of millions of women who are otherwise deprived for lack of a partner or the inclination to use battery operated boyfriends.  And men will have the option of relieving their own tension without having to *handle* things -- you know, like their clothes.

On the other hand, this could bring a whole new set of challenges for getting through one's daily commute on public transportation!  The sights!  The sounds!  Oh my.

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I'm thinking this is good... then again.. maybe I should re-think that... Just my thoughts...

perhaps I'll become a thought addict.
OK. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry. No. There it is. It seems laughter won out! msp
AskingBoy: And there's no rehab for that yet! LOL
Kit, we've gotta laugh. I mean, what else is there? lol
This same progam slipped onto my screen as well. As soon as the romping on the mats began I did a quick switch. ( Didn't want Mom to hear the moaning yanno) I wonder if this will get the same attention as breast feeding on planes and restaurants does. Seriosuly, I'm not really keen on sitting by a blank shooting screamer on an airplane. Or, maybe the airlines charge the screamers extra for no class seating.
TME: OMG, I never thought about the airplane! No class seating..lol
"Oh my!" is right! Yikes! I'm not sure about Ms. Carrellas, but I believe everything I see on 'House!' :))
See, there's a reason for everything. How would you have learned about this had your computer not contacted a virus? More frontiers for humans to become more autonomous. ~R
Gives a new spin on Penny for your thoughts?
The Taosists long ago figured out how to improve sexual satisfaction for women and men without the ejaculation that is often "tied" to their orgasm. Few men are patient enough to allow to relearn this, which is too bad, because it means more orgasms, more energy, less being drained from sex, and could be used as a form of birth control.
I ain't much on the idiot box Leslie so I did not see this.
Sounds like a great idea tho'. I can see it happening. Folks screaming 'cause they are creaming right on public transport.
...uh, maybe not...
I'll be very careful about to whom I'll send a card that says: "Thinking of You" from now on.
Suzi: LOL! Me, too.

Fusun: Autonomous without the auto, right?

OB: Methinks there is more to it than orgasm for some guys. They're going to want the skin time.
My banner on my blog states "Think For Yourself." This has expanded my intentions.

r~
Imagination is a good thing. The real thing is a better thing. But, hey! Whatever flips your skirt.
I forgot to say, I like the way you think. ;-)
L, I'm sorry, I can't seem to get through this post. I keep withering for some reason. I'll try again later. (For Sure)
Mission: Thanks for stopping in.

Joy: Think for Yourself could be Ms. Carrellas' motto. lol

Harvey: You devil, you! Behave. :-)
Scanner: LMAO! What the hell does withering mean? Writhing in ScanMan language?
Clearly I need to stop thinking altogether, before things come to a climax! I'll just ignore LC Neal's post about breathing deeply... unless I'm in the privacy of my own laundry room on top of the spin cycle. (damn L, the stuff you can get on cable these days!)
Makes sense, since a lot of what sex is is in the brain. Must take my frontal lobes out to dinner more often.
Can you picture how busy the 'self'checkout at the supermarket would be? R
My ex wife and I were having a discussion one day, and I said maybe we just need to spice up our sex life, so what would her fantasy be. She said me getting my own apartment. Just thinking to much makes my head hurt, it wouldn't be good for me. Really good L, my best as always hang in there. o/e........R***
Lezlie, your tags are almost as good as the post. Hilarious!
I think there was a scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Yoda taught Luke to do this when he visited him in the swamp. Eventually Luke had his hand chopped off by his Father. Isn't that what this was all about? Use the FORCE, Lezlie!
This is VERY interesting. I've often wondered if we, as humans, have explored the full capacity of our sexuality. I definitely do my research.

Thanks a bunch!
This reminds me of my 25 yr marriage where I told myself stories that curled my toes as that was all I had.
Gabby Abby: Put a lock on that laundry room door!

Kate: LA traffic appealing? Nah.

Kathy: Make sure you and your lobes get a secluded table!

libmomrn: Hah!

Mark: Not too many men I know like their women's hair short! You are too cool.

o/e: Whoa, that was harsh from wifey. But you're joking, right?

TheREalMe: Thanks. Not everyone reads the tags.

Bill: May the Force be with you, too. And stay there!

bb: Just THINK about it! Heh, heh, heh.

Zanelle: So you didn't share your secret?
okkkkkkkkk i'm thinking will get backkkkkkk tooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Jonathan: Don't get hurt over there! :-)
L - I saw a similar show and thought the exact same thing as you about the lack of, er, "evidence" on the male participants' pants. But if techology as seen on "House" says it's true, I definitely have to re-think (uh - in a non-sexy way) this.
Alysa: Yeah, House is my go-to fact-checker for all things science and/or medical. That might explain some of my recent ailments...

LC: I read your post today. Just make sure you don't try fuchsia on YOUR head. I think that might cut down on human contact all by itself!
Wet dreams work, but they can be messy.
Wet dreams work, but they can be messy.
...of all times for my finger to slip.
Now, can you figure out a way to make this happen for people at work, and nobody else has to know?
fascinating!!! ummm why am I laughing? I don't dare learn how to do this...I have too many opportunities to slip up in meetings....
Great post...I'll have what THEY're having. ;} r
Bob Skye: LMAO!!! Smooth moove, Bob. I'm so glad to see you here.

Bea: Uhhhhh, not yet...

Muse: Oh, the image of you "thinking" at a meeting and trying to cover. Bwaaahaaaaahaaaa!
Where do you think I've been all day...?
Hey! It could happen!
OK, I can see I'm going to have to come out of the closet... soon.

I held off doing that for a long time because I didn't want to jeopardize my job in corporate America. But my corporate job said "fuck you," so maybe it's just time to relax, take off the mask, and just shmooze.

I'm a long time tantrika, and I've studied with and been certified by the best. I've experienced ejaculation without orgasm, and orgasm without ejaculation. I've had orgasms lasting 30 minutes, and have given a partner an orgasm from 3 feet away, fully clothed, with no physical contact. And I've healed a woman who had been numb from the waist down for 6 years after a total hysterectomy, and returned her to full multiorgasmic splendor in one session. And I'm not even particularly good at it.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
Cartouche: laughing because it just might be true.

Linnnn: I know it could; I just never thought about it. However, there will be no further reports from this blogger. :-)
it's good to know I'm less crazy than I thought ;-)
it's good to know I'm less crazy than I thought ;-)
I've heard of it happening during dreams, but this...I'm not so sure!
Wow, David. When you decide to come out, you come OUT!
After I googled "tantrika" I understand just a little how being one could result in your spectacular accomplishments.

teendoc: I concur about the dreams. And the brain scan on this program was pretty convincing as well. The biggest sex organ IS the brain, right Doc?
Concerning airplanes, I'm thinking that this could give Mile High Club a whole new meaning.

I have to admit, I loved "This could get messy if guys do it."
I'm feeling pretty skeptical about it. Now if you told me you tried it and it worked, then I might believe it! It's a fascinating discovery....and an exciting one! :)
Here's a two cent lesson on tantric sex:

The brain is the largest sex organ.
The mind can direct energy in the body.
An orgasm is an energetic event in the body.
With practice and skilled direction, the mind can create an orgasmic state at will.
I'm thinking, I'm glad I'm married to a hands on kind of guy! -R-
Christine: Hahahahaha. Good for you, you lucky lady!
"dreaming up scenarios of the absurd." I like the way you think!
I just have no words to say here....but I'll think about it : )
Haven't read the comments so maybe someone else has already raised the question that comes to mind as I read this. Have they come up with the equalavant to "the little blue pill" for those who lack the needed imagination to achive nervana?
I like the way your mind works, kid.
A woman went to her gynecologist and complained of genital pains. The gynecologist asked, "Would you like me to numb it for you?"

"Well, yes," she replied, "that would be wonderful!"

So he put his head between her legs and wagged his tongue wildly, making a noise that sounded like, "Num, num, num, num!"

Don't know if that actually applies here, but I figured there'd be a few folks who'd give it some thought. :-)
What Daniel Geery said.

I have a method for achieving orgasm without touching myself. It's called eating chocolate.
Maybe TMI -- but I was shocked to start having...er..."really good times" while sleeping after I turned 40. I'm usually dreaming, but not about anything erotic. It's the strangest thing, in a great way. When I quizzed my friends, I found it it's pretty common. Who knew? I guess there are some good things about getting older.
Daniel: LOL!

Cranky: You are so silly! Chocolate, huh?

Bellwether Vance: Same here! It's the best, but doesn't happen often. (There's no such thing as TMI around here!)
OMG.....this changes everything. I'll BRB.
On second thought, I think about sex all the time....and I breath all the time...what gives? Where's my orgasim?

I'll just have to try harder....in the mean time I'll stick with the old standby....where's that Fredrick's catalog?
I've taught myself to do that. It doesn't take much effort. No erection, no ejaculation, no special technique, you don't even have to think about your genitals or create sexual fantasies (as Carrellas advises). If you've ever had an orgasm that involved abdominal convulsions, your body knows how to do it. Watch Carrellas' TLC video and see how she uses her trunk muscles (not her hands). Lay down on your back. Relax, that's important, and mimic the contraction of your lower abdomin. Once it gets going, it'll roll on it's own. It's easy and it's satisfying.