I have been known to enjoy the company of men younger than I am. 
There. I said it. Hello, my name is Lezlie, and I am a cougar.
It must be a trait that is carried on some esoteric pair of chromosomes, the number of which I have no clue, because my sister is a cougar too. In fact, she is a bigger cougar than I am, since she is actively engaged in a long-term relationship with a guy who is only six years older than her son! My cougardom is more, shall I say, episodic in nature. As I have confessed before, my attention span is nothing to write home about.
I know what a lot of you are thinking. Some are thinking "Ewwwwww..;" some are thinking "oooooh;" and others are sitting there smiling. The thing about cougars is: We don't care what you are thinking!
I once asked my son what I should think about a guy as young as he is hitting on me. I expected peals of raucous laughter. What I got was a response as serious as a heart attack.
"You should think he is up to no good, Mom. He's looking for a meal-ticket, or he's looking for a Mommy. Trust me, I'm a man; I know what these young guys are about and it's never anything good. Who is this dude, anyway?"
"You don't think he could just find me attractive?" I was playing with him now. Turns out he wasn't playing at all.
"Mom..."
If you are a parent of an adult child, you know the intonation that he used to say that. Translation: Get serious, you delusional, seriously lovable, but old woman.
I must admit I have been very leery of the motives of my younger suitors. And, most of the time, my son has been right on the money with his analysis. Oh, I do believe them when they tell me they like what an older woman brings to a relationship; i.e., maturity, her own job, her own house,her own car, her own everything. Of course, they are also talking about our presumed sexual expertise, not to mention our presumed sexual desperation.
Like almost every other topic up for discussion, however, this cougar-cub relationship thing cannot be covered by sweeping generalizations.
As I drove to my sister's house on Christmas Day, I realized this was the third Christmas I would be spending with her and her live-in boyfriend. In fact, this past summer the two of them actually drove up to Chicago to introduce him to our mother for the first time! This guy sure seems to be in it for the long haul.
Could it be? Could there really be a man of limited age genuinely capable of loving a woman 18 years older who has had not one cosmetic procedure?
The answer, surprisingly for even me, is yes. I am absolutely convinced that the man is head over heels in love with my sister, as she is with him.
How can I be so sure?
I watched on Christmas as my nephew and his 18-year-old son interacted with Sister's Man. If you thought MY son's reaction to the idea was negative, you would find my nephew's point of view downright violent. In the beginning, he was ready to kick this guy's young ass.
But on this Christmas Day, they were playing Madden football on the Play Station 3 as if they were best friends. They conspired together to surprise my sister with an iPad and several app gift cards. And my grand-nephew hugged Sister's Man after opening the gift he had selected especially for him.
We were a family. An unusual family, perhaps, but whose isn't? Love and happiness bounced off the walls of my sister's living room. That's all I needed to know.
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janicephelpswilliams
toritto
divorcedpauline
Jan Sand
Pensive Person
SeventhSister
Salon.com
Comments
It ie very possible.. Never been with someone my own age.
Steve is almost 10 years younger and I can whip his butt on anything hahaha
Love you
rated with hugs
(Actually I don't. Nobody's business what other people do...)
Hot damn!
But if the shoe fits, wear it L.
I cannot say how many times I have been looked at by the younger set. I can never bring myself to even consider a man who is the age of my children.
But they are cuties.
I say run with the good. You cannot stop folks from thinking anything. Unless you off their heads....
Joanie: We should never lose our ability to admire the Creator's handiwork!
JT: I'm not going there. There are some wonderful old guys out there, too. (I just haven't met one in a while :-)
Linda: No surprise there, girlfriend! :D
Scanner: That means you can appreciate a woman for far more than what she looks like. Some men, of any age, don't seem to be able to do that.
Myriad: Never say never. :D
Belinda: Swimsuit season, coming up!
Rita: I recall your objection to the term. Wasn't there one you suggested? Or someone did. I don't interpret it in the prey sense, I guess because I so admire big cats in general. I just know I wouldn't want to be called a Grizzly! :D
Don't tell me he's gay too.....
then again, no one complains when an older man dates a younger woman, Hugh H comes to mind. Then people say it's the younger woman who is predatory. Seriously?
would I be suspicious? oh, yes. Eyes open, I say. Life's too short.
I wish more people could embrace that motto, Cougar moniker or not. Why the obsession with people's age?
The one time I paused to think about someone's age, it cost me the relationship, as he was 15 years my senior. But, I trust that was for the best for both of us, as patience is also a virtue when someone needs to sort things out.
I admire you Lezlie, you are the type of real grit woman I love and keep close to me in my life. Best to you!
JT: Behave! :-D
Harp: I blush.
JT: Joe Johns? I think that's his name. That wouldn't be bad. Haha
LL2: My son would have a fit and fall in it! That's why my business is my business.
Mime: Isn't it incredible how they think they were all immaculate conceptions?
hugsme: Well, I haven't stumble up on the real thing, but then again I won't stand still long enough to find out. That's another conversation. :-)
vanessa: HH must have a gold-plated "unit" or something. Money cannot be the only answer...
blu: I guess you'd have to be 80 to even know how to play canasta. As for your maturity? Well...
geekycougar: See? My theory isn't completely off the wall.
Sparking: There are plenty of other things to be cautious about besides age. Our instincts serve us well if we listen to them.
greenheron: Good kissing is required of all, regardless of age. I'm a pretty good teacher, too. :D
I found that the older you get the more likely it is to happen, as older guys are fewer, and many go for younger gals. My youngest guy was my son's age. It was very short and sweet.
Theresa: I believe cougars are solitary. Appropriate for me (grin)
Joisey shore: Hahahaha.
Even this Poor Woman had her cougarish fling once. (Yup. That's what I said)The guy in question turned out to be a creep, but I hear this isn't always the case. Also, older, same aged, and younger, nice or creepy and everything in between, the dating scene's a smorgasbord wherein anything is possible. ;)
Rated
L
BTW-This creep roberts must feel threatened that you're getting more yound men than he is.
;D
Tink: Who could resist you, you little demon?
Lezlie
He is 84, she is 24.
`R
You have given me the hope and confidence I was lacking before I read this.
Hefner's and DC trollops! CRUSHED! OY,
I'M WAY BEWILDERED! Maybe a dismay?
No! My Pure Intentions! Grow beet batches?
Yes! Go no premeditated! Grow pumpkins,
tomatoes, O (no) build a 30' X 140' hoops`
green-house!
Yes, do-build!
Grow Begonia!
`
I'm way behind.
I's a poor farmer.
I'll postpone ideas.
`
Let's feel we blessed.
Blessed to sense Joy.
I turn gadget on huh,
O, maybe tomorrow?
Neighbors stop over.
Maybe they thirsty?
or,
they got a Crush on`
`
L in the Southeast`
love is love. Love's`
Big.
`
Who wrote?
Ihear the midnight harlot,
She's holy and in the street,
No blast the newborn infant,
And Life's Marriage, Sacred.
` I sa to my two sons` Hay`
Ya lucky I'S no did kill`Ya!
But,
thanks,
Ya may have more posterity,
great children, Ya offsprings,
and surely`
Ya will drink Good homebrew?
Sip raw milk and try to behave.
Play the dulcimer. Play dumb.
I Loved your last? Ya hugged.
huh,
conk.
good night.
tomorrow?
Let's behave.
What's that?
Who knows?
Ay, nobody.
Leepin' Larry: Hugh Hefner is a freak of nature. See my comment above. :-)
Bell: Double standards never cease for us pirate wimmins!
Macco: Are you trying to confuse me? I know it's you, Dom. lol
I'm noticing a pattern here. Lots of men urging caution...hmmmm
Linda Cooper: Confidence sets you up to succeed. Keep finding it.
Art James: I am much better playing dumb than I am playing the dulcimer!
Once we're older, have some life experience and can see the world from the perspective of a mature man or woman, it's a non-issue, but when you're still in your 20's I'm bent toward the belief that it's not the best choice for oneself.
Oh, and as far as the name, I love big cats too. I think it speaks of grace and power...never a bad thing in my book.
I was always good at hiding mine.
In fact, when I fill out a form which include a space for the current date, I always write;
NOT OFTEN TOO CHEAP.
Or any such incident?
Not caring can be sexy. I don't mean not caring about how you look or present yourself; I mean not allowing yourself to be ruled by what others think, particularly strangers. More knowledge, more confidence, less inclination toward insecurities that are a pain in the ass and translate into a constant need for reassurance that men find neurotic and nonsensical. Not caring is another way of saying psychologically and sexually secure.
It's not desperation that's sexy, it's the lack of it. It's the underlying assumption that you're worth it. Knowing that you're worth it gives you both power and allure.
What's wrong with an older woman being a little predatory? Is objectification a one-way street? It's not like the predation is that kind of literal - "cougars" don't typically drag younger men into alleys at gunpoint - it's that they can be sexually tactically-minded and don't mind expressing their appreciation and interest in ways that have been expected of men for millenia. Frankly, interest is flattering. In short, the term doesn't carry negative connotations for me.