L in the Southeast

L in the Southeast
Atlanta, Georgia, United States
November 04
Retired PR Director
I am a retired Public Relations professional who now writes purely for fun and catharsis. I covered most of my memoir-type pieces in the first three years here. Lately I have dabbled in politics, current affairs, pop culture and movie reviews. Life is my muse.


L in the Southeast's Links

FEBRUARY 28, 2011 12:27AM

Two Thumbs Down on the Oscar Telecast

Rate: 35 Flag

The closing credits are rolling on the Oscar telecast.  I am underwhelmed, to say the least.  What a colossal snooze fest!

Ixnay on the ostshay, okay?  Franco has the personality of a sedated gerbil and Anne Hathaway is so damned adorable it’s sickening. Who yells “Woooo!!!!!” after each introduction? No Oscar host I’ve ever seen.  I say bring back the old school hosts.   Pronto!

Since all the money was on The King’s Speech, I was hoping for at least one or two upsets to spice up the telecast.  Not one time was there a surprised gasp from the audience.  Did I say gasp?  Hell, there was barely any applause, mostly due to lack of interest, I’d say.  I think I saw that madcap Roberto guy – the one who walked on the backs of the theater seats and jumped up and down a while when he won for Il Postino  Life is Beautiful (thanks, Lea!) that year – nodding off in the fourth row. 

The one thing I could always count on for Oscar night entertainment in the past didn’t even happen tonight.  I didn’t see one Bork-worthy get up.  Even Helen Bonham Carter looked half-way put together…well, for her.  I never thought I’d live long enough to say this, but I miss Cher and her Bob Mackie nudie costumes.  Tonight there were only gorgeous, colorful and well-fitting dresses.  Well, I did wonder what milkmaid Cate Blanchett

 Photo:  HuffPo
mugged to steal her dress.  The silly Ms. Hathaway did set a new land-speed record for costume and hair-style changes in one telecast, I suspect. 

What happened to all the shtick?  Remember Palance and his one-handed pushups?  How about Billy Crystal riding a horse to the microphone?  Oh, and remember this:  Uma, Oprah…Oprah, Uma?  The only thing that happened off-script tonight was the decidedly inelegant F-bomb lobbed by Best Supporting Actress winner Melissa Leo for The Fighter. (Which, by the way, I predicted in an earlier post)

There were moments in the production that left me totally confused.  No less than Celine Dion sauntered onto the stage with no introduction and started singing “Smile” (you know…when your heart is aching)  And because there were pictures of people who had died during the year flipping by on the screen over her left shoulder, no one applauded.  Awkward.  

The last dead person’s photo on the screen was Lena Horne.  Suddenly, Halle Berry is standing there in all her splendor reciting…no, make that reading…words to the effect that Ms. Horne had opened the doors of Hollywood so that people like her and Denzel and Jennifer Hudson and Whoopi Goldberg and Cuba Gooding, Jr. could win Oscars.  Well, okay, but…  Do you think they did that because of all the hoopla about there not being any actors of any color other than white among this year’s nominees? Awkward.

Surely, the Academy of Motion Pictures blah, blah, blah can do better than this.  Even I could have produced a show that bad.  Sheesh!

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You're on a roll here!
yeah...bring back Bob Hope...literally and figuratively. The Blanchard dress...hmmmm...THAT was an unfortunate combination of gown meets tea cozy...R Yet, like a bad wreck, I failed to avert my eyes. I hear ya!
Harry's Ghost: Does it have pecans on it? :)

Muse: Me too. I kept waiting for something to happen -- all night!
I had a really great time Tweeting for Salon...I decided to do the open call for that...so...it made it more enjoyable...I do have my criticisms of the show though...it was rather flat overall..and the dressing was not up to par...too conservative...xox
Robin: I saw that Salon tweeting post. I'm glad you had fun with it.
I was so sure it would be a snooze-fest that I didn't watch until the last hour. I loved loved James Franco in 127 Hours but he's way out of his depth hosting an awards show. My suggestion: next year, let Tink host the show!
like Harry says YOU are on a roll here and yes, even I remember Billy Crystal - he does spice it up with his humor and unique style - and yes this was boring
Actually, Mr. Franco looked like he was stoned past Uranus. It was like, "Dude, what are you people doing in my living room? WOoo, your head, it's so big!!!" I mean, yeah, that's his personality I guess, nice guy from what I've been told, would love to meet up with him, exchange ideas for movies, but dude, it's like the Oscars, scream out, "SOYBOMB!" or something.

I didn't watch much of the show. The signal for ABC to my set was really bad, yay for digital broadcast, a big rain storm whooshes through and ABC goes from A++++ signal to F- If me and the wifey sat a certain way, it was clear, but man, sitting on the roof top during a thunderstorm, yeah, Oscars aren't worth all that and a bag of chips plus Family Guy 1 hour Christmas special, was funny!!

But I got to see the best part of the show, Bob Hope. Billy Crystal.

And uh, some horrible singing of songs from this year's movies. I really think they should drop that for the broadcast. There hasn't been a good movie sound track since, hell, EVER!!

Anne Hathway did a lot of wardrobe changes because, well, why not? It gives Joan Rivers and her fashion police something to talk about later on today!! I believe there should be more wardrobe changes, right on stage!! LET US SEE YOUR UNDIES, OR LACK THEREOF!!

Except you Mr. Beatty!! Teeheehee!!

I seen one protest speech and I agreed, PUT ALL THE BANKERS IN JAIL WHO CAUSED THIS MESS!! Wooooo!! I clapped during that speech.

I switched over before the announcement of best picture and I watched wolves of Yellowstone kill a bison. It was awesome.

I just watched the Bafta which was live telecast here in India a few days ago - so yes, kept thinking 'nothing is happening here' and it was 4:30 a.m. and I felt sleepy anyway. gave it up. after the first half hour, wd watch the retelecast at 1900 this evening. just so I can say yeah I watched that sloppy show
If I host the show, instead of celebs presenting the awards to celebs, we grab some random folks off the street, whatever we can find, a few of those guys holding signs that say, "WILL KILL FOR FOOD!" and they present the awards.

Also, no more of that sad 'Heres who died this year...' sheesh, half the people watching the show are going, "Who?" so instead, we broadcast half naked showgirls and what the hell, showboys!!

GAWD!!! :D
I didn't even watch. It really is such a "snooze fest" as you say. Normally I like watching the parade of gowns on the red carpet, but it sounds like it was really dull this year. Well done wrap-up, L.
Cranky: I think would definitely boost the ratings!

Rolling: I think the whole awards show format has run its course. Enough, already!

Tink: I'm glad you think he was stoned. That didn't occur to me, but it sure explains a lot! It would be hilarious to just pull people off the street.

Flower Child: I'm just a creature of habit, I guess.
They should have gotten Ted Williams to host.
L, yeah, I'm going for stoned. Wifey said, "That's what he looked like in Spiderman!!!!!" Maybe he was stoned then too!!! Maybe he's always stoned.

I'd like to add --- I like him. He seems cool. If he'd do an interview with me, one on one, I'd probably post the sucker right here, and die, as life would have no more meaning left, it would be perfect.

Cate Blanchett's dress was definitely bad news. It looked like she was wearing the back of a chair from her grandmother's parlor. And those squared off sleeves. Yikes. :) Rated
This just in: James Franco announced that he knows the rehearsal stank but promises to be straight and not just phone it in for the actual Oscar show. But seriously folks, judging by his hosting performance on the Oscars I'm shocked that he wasn't upstaged by the boulder in 127 Hours.

On the bright side at least the Oscars taught the Staten Island P.S. 22 5th-grade chorus an important life lesson. That it's not about the music, it's about the packaging .

ps. John Boehner has officially declared the Oscar show an abortion. He's now seeking to cut its funding and FCC license
Thank God I didn't watch it. It hasn't been good in years. Guess I'll join the old-fashioned crowd, or should I say the Geezers. -R-
Totally awk. Great post about it, though! ~r
You made some starring points...And the review Oscar goes to....You!
I think that the Bob Hope thing may have been the highlight of the whole show. Sanitized by the five second delay to remove the random didn't help. Since we all know what the "F-Bomb" is would it have been a disaster to let it be heard? (I'm back)
I watched the first thirty minutes, nothing else on. I think they're trying to get a younger crowd by using those two as hosts. Not my cup of tea!
I was so not interested that I didn't watch it. Instead, I watched my recently purchased dvd of the 6th season of Weeds. I enjoyed it greatly, and I know that would not have enjoyed the Oscars at all. Basically, it's an awards show for people who throw it for themselves and then want everyone else to clap for them. I've been passing every year for a long time now.
oh, whooo-haaa. I love the Oscars, always, the good, bad and the ugly. The dresses, the wrinkles. I just don't care.
Margaret: Ted Williams would have at least sounded enthusiastic! Good choice! :D

Theresa: I so agree!
The Obsolete Man: Hahahaha!
Christine: You, a geezer??? Naw…

Joanie: Thanks, my dear

Algis: Oh, my goodness! I don’t know what to say… I’d like to thank my high school typing teacher...

Bob: I think they must have a computer operating the delay button. Anything that starts with an ‘f’ followed by a ‘u’ is automatically bleeped. Welcome back, my friend.

Scanner: You were smarter than I was!

Toritto: So sayeth the king.

Duane: You made the much better choice. I love Weeds!
Vivian: I used to be that way, too. Old age must be making me cranky. :D
Dare I say I liked Cate Blanchett's dress. There are many things I didn't like tho and I was with people who weren't too interested. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be a person receiving an award. What a golden group to be working with. But awards always means someone wins and someone loses and I don't like that. I actually read a book in my room away from the tv for most of the time.
Great cometary!! When I first saw Kate, I only saw her from the waist up and I thought she was wearing a decorative pillow! When the camera panned back I saw that it was really an apron....Great read this Monday morning! R
Agree on the snoozie show. And don't you think Melissa Leo could have figured she might have to give a speech and prepared a bit?
(Oh, and I think the movie that the chair-jumping dude was in was "Life is Beautiful," not "Il Postino." Wonder what happened to him?
It was terribly boring and there were moments throughout which were not in sync.
It was worse than usual, agreed; sort of corporatized. I (mercifully) fell asleep earlier than I normally do if forced to watch these kinds of shows.
I did not see any of it. The only bit I wondered about was if Bansky would do something, but knew if he did, it would show up on you tube.
why would i watch that when there was a criminal minds marathon????? well-said. r.
It was the worst show I ever saw but my bible thumping friend loved it all except the F word. Figures..
blah and rated with hugs
I had time only to watch the red carpet session with to see who was wearing what and dating whom. I remember thinking Cate Blanchett's dress reminding me of an apron - especially in the upper bodice part. There wasn't really any outstanding fashion style that caught my eye, but I may not have been paying close attention. Blame it on Cranky :o)
I didn't watch the Oscars this year, but I heard so many bad things about it. Now I am interested!
Best Wishes,
Zanelle: Of course you dare say it. You and at least two other people I know of liked it: the designer and Cate. :D

Susie: Thanks!

Lea: I think Ms. Leo was just trying to show us how authentic she was in her role! Lol Thanks for the correction. That was a while back and I was too sleepy, I guess, to check my facts.

Belinda: A waste of air time it was.

Sophie: Unfortunately I was wide awake. lol

greenheron: You were smart, g.

Jonathan: Much better choice, my friend. Thanks for reading, though.

Linda: YOU have a bible-thumping friend????????]

Fusun: Your time was much better spent, dear one. That post for Cranky’s birthday is outstanding!
Blittie: Trust me, it is a waste of time, even for a Kitty Kat.
Great commentary.

Looks like I didn't miss anything by watching vids of House and a modern Sherlock Holmes...
Hmm, maybe I should thank the thieves who stole a bunch of our stuff a couple of weeks ago. Not having a television, I was prevented from watching. Sounds like a good thing!
I only watched a couple of random moments when we paused from the VHS tape we were watching. I love this, because I get to know what happened without doing the work myself. Thanks for doing the heavy-lifting for someone like me who is curious, but didn't watch. Reading your post though, I felt like I had watched it along with you. Good stuff.
Myriad: I hope those were waaaaaay more enjoyable!

Jeanette: I’m so sorry to hear about your burglary! Jerks!

Kate: Thanks. I wish I could say I am happy I covered it for you. lol
I don't think any of the Old White Men could jump on their hands. Bring back Whoopie without her bra. Bring back Whoopie WITH Billy Crystal. They kept saying they were appealing to a young audience. The academy is made up of Baby Boomers. The Oscars are for bringing out the stars, old stars. Loved Kirk Douglas and his quips. That was the best part. Good review, L. RRR
Bonnie: Yes, a hot mess, at that.

Bamy: Whoopi and Billy together would be outrageous, in a good way. At least there would be some laughs.
Didn't watch a single minute of it. I could hear my wife and daughter laughing periodically - rather uproariously at times - in the next room while I lay in bed reading myself to sleep. They didn't see it through, tho, because while driving my daughter to school this morning I asked her if she knew which movie won best picture. "Dunno" she said.

Great report, Lezlie. Thanks for sharing your memories.
I didn't want to go there, but this was the Whitest Oscars since the days of Jim Crow! The most British and Australian, too.

I couldn't care less, because so many have already earned their place as Oscar winners, and some years will just be sparse.

But I was cheered that the trailer park, tea party films like True Grit did not waste my time!

Actually, Tyler Perry, with his origins in Chitlin' Circuit plays, is worth $800 mil! So screw the Oscars and thank God for BET and TV1!

As for the Brits, those actors learn and know their doggone craft. They can be ugly as sin, but we don't care because they can transport an audience.

Natalie Portman stole my heart a generation ago in the real world version of True Grit: The Professional. Christian Bale has earned his keep, too.

I kept wanting to CHANGE parts of Kate Blanchetts dress.

Natalie Portman's costume changes were a spoof on those awful Star Wars movies, where she had different clothes and hair for every scene.

The best part of these Oscars? No Ricky Gervais! ha ha!

Well done and zuma-oscarworthy-pick.
I watched something else. Thanks for validating my decision.
Except for a few minutes. By the way, "sedated gerbil' is both remarkably accurate and inspired.
I ususually love the Oscars, but I was soooooo disappointed last night. I do like Anne Hathaway, though. At least she was trying! Franco was...asleep or something. I though it was quite funny that Crystal got a large round of applause, clearly he was missed!
My friend, you are dead on the money. I'm writing my little review now and we are of the same mind. James Franco...really?
Well at least you discovered you can produce a bad show - I guess that's learning something about yourself. There's always a silver lining.
It was just a mess. Anne was charming... who really thought Franco was a good choice for host? I mean, really? REALLY? He looked high and confused all night. I thought for a minute Billy Crystal had been called in for an emergency save. Why not Kevin Spacey???? Or Robert Downey, Jr???? Both are charming, elegant, witty, and can sing.
Jennifer Hudson's dress was horrid. It was beautiful except in the chest area--oh dear.... no....

and worst of all, very worst of all, The Social Network not taking Top Honor when it's THE defining movie of the decade... and David F, David F.... so deserved Best Director. . . .at least Sorkin won. And Portman. And I was happy for Colin too. But please..... please.... please..... when something as brave, funny, intelligent, creative, and important as The Social Network is passed over and then Franco is hosting.... just sigh.
sorry, I don't know what happened there..... I guess I was repeating myself repeating myself repeating myself....
Matt: I case you are hiding under your house without any means of communication you probably already know it was The King’s Speech that won Best Picture.

Zuma: The number of British and Aussie accents was kind of bothersome to me, too, but I chastised myself for thinking like an ugly American. We seem to be losing our grasps of just about everything. Thanks for the ZP

Kosh: Happy to be of service. Thanks for the compliment.

Sweetfeet: It just really didn’t work at all.

Bb: Thanks. Good to see you.

D Art: Thanks.

Renee: I totally agree about the Social Network. That little brainiac has changed the way the world functions and the movie was extremely well-crafted.
I think the trouble is, L, that the winners are already picked way ahead of time. Bet you would be a great host--Bob Hope style.
Sarah: There was a time when I could have done that. My favorite part would have been getting dressed! :D
I'm quoting someone else who said they did no favors to the hosts by beaming in Bob Hope, who showed them up. Mr. Franco clearly had his book bag in the wings and was studying trigonometry or something equally dry in between the required moments he had to be on stage. I understand he hopped the closest plane back to the east coast college(s) he attends as soon as the fest was over so he could impress his professors by being in his seat bright and early this morning. Not hung over. Makes Franco a dull boy, I'm afraid. Good for him and all, just a really poor choice for a host. One imagines that if it weren't for the paid gig, he wouldn't have bothered to show at all.

I like Cate's dress, except for the unfortunate bib look there in the middle. Imagine how Oprah would have filled that out! She looked equipped to take out a battleship with her torpedos, but the dress was nice given it's limitations.

Good overview L.
Oh, and am I the only one who thought it strange that not one mention of Natalie Portman's baby bump was mentioned atl ALL, by anyone? Natalie made a sideways ref in her acceptance speech, but even she didn't say the B word. how odd. I certainly would have commented on her glow and wished her well with the upcoming event, blah, blah. At the very least, when are you due???? (nosey me)
Abby: I actually enjoy Franco as an actor and I understand he is a serious student, maybe even a brainiac. I had no idea Anne Hathaway could sing like that -- that song from Les Miserables was made for her voice. They just weren't cut out for such a major job on live TV.

About the dress; take the top off; take off those ridiculous knife-edge sleeves; reuse the beads to outline a more flattering neckline; and I like the dress, too. lol
L, you've expressed it for me perfectly! Dull, frenetic, awkward, confusing, inappropriate, juvenile, disappointing in every way--adjectives which also, unfortunately, describe mis-matched hosts, James and Anne! "Youth audience" pandering be damned. People who love movies and/or feel nostalgic about Hollywood will tune in no matter what their age. But if this year's show style becomes the norm, I'll cross it off my watch list!!

The only interesting moments were clips of Bob Hope actually being FUNNY and Billy Crystal's self-deprecating live appearance. I would have welcomed more footage from Johnny Carson's masterful reign, and Steve Martin (without Alec Baldwin--whoever decided there have to be two hosts?!?) handled the hosting duties with his unique, dry charm.

This year's ceremony's producers appear to have forgotten the very purpose of the evening: to honor the recipients and plug this year's crop of films. Too much emphasis was placed on the TV show. For me the most boring moment of the night was ABC's announcement they have contracted to host the Oscar broadcast until 2012. Oh, please! Speaking of boring, who wrote the embarassing drivel spoken by the Oscar presenters? It made me long for the spontaneous quips voiced by past celebrities. They were class acts!
Make that until the year 2020 for ABC to broadcast Oscar's night--ugh!