If you’re like me, the annual Pumpkin Carving ritual is a chore that you tend to put off until the last minute.  It’s not that I don’t want to spend two hours of my life carving a perfectly good vegetable with a godawful sharp knife so that it/… Read full post »

A beautiful fall day is perfect for a country flea market.  One thing is certain:  even if you can’t find any bargains, there’s always plenty of absurdity to go around.  Throw on a pair of your rattiest jeans, a flannel shirt, and a John Deere cap and come along with me/… Read full post »

It was a rare peaceful evening and I was the only one downstairs. I was relishing the quiet and appreciating the uncommon opportunity to read more than a sentence in my book before being interrupted by someone needing something.

Read full post »

My teenager is trying to kill me.  Really.

It’s a slow, torturous murder that he’s attempting instead of the quick but unsuccessful ways he’s tried in the past (childbirth, sharing assorted childhood illnesses, learning to drive, dating awful girls, and that certa… Read full post »

Ask anyone over the age of 10 where they were eight years ago today and they will be able to tell you.

They’ll tell you about how beautifully blue the skies were that day. Not even a single cloud interrupted the bright sunshine. A perfect Indian summer day.

They’ll… Read full post »

^{(This piece was written a few years ago when my last child started kindergarten and I needed some place to put the feelings.)}

Evan, my youngest child, started kindergarten last week.  For the first time in 13 years, I have the house to myself during the day with no/… Read full post »

I think I'm cursed.

It’s not the type of curse you’d expect, such as I am cursed with unreasonable curly hair, or cursed with a hoarding disease where books are involved.  Oh no; nothing ordinary like that.  My flavor of curse is like nothing of which I’ve ever heard: … Read full post »

A knock at the door... 

The Dog, who had been napping peacefully, jumps excitedly to her feet.  Someone’s at the door!  Oh boy oh boy oh boy.  Open it, open it, open it! Meeting people is my favorite thing.  The Dog positions herself so that upon e/… Read full post »

“Mom, we have to go to Gamestop tonight at midnight,” my son Evan announced last night.

“Midnight?” I responded. “Who goes to Gamestop at midnight?” 

“We have to go, Mom.  Wii Resort Sports will be there!”

&ldq… Read full post »

I’m mad as hell. 

I wish I could say that I’m not going to take it any more but it seems I have to suck it up and deal with it.  In the United States, in the year 2009, banks have the power to do/… Read full post »

It’s summer camp season; that glorious time of year when many children enjoy fun activities at sleep-away camp.  Camp week doesn’t have to mean fun only for the kids, however.  If planned… Read full post »

I’ve got a confession to make:  I’m a complete idiot when it comes to all things technological. 

One of my kids had to make a PowerPoint presentation for a school project and I couldn’t help him; I just recently learned how to back up files on my computer; I… Read full post »

Living in a household full of boys, I’ve dealt with a respectable amount of repugnant things:  I’ve given beef-jerkified lizards a proper burial.  I’ve raised metamorphosing caterpillars on my kitchen counter.  I’ve disposed of the lifeless remains of birds and… Read full post »

My 9-year-old son, Evan, had had enough.  He missed having a dog and took every opportunity to remind me.  Eventually, he figured out that for something to happen, it first needs to be on my To-Do list.

He didn’t realize that his father and I had already started lo… Read full post »

(Actual telephone conversation with my mother today:)  

            “Exactly how big is it?”

            “About the size of a quarter. … Read full post »

Last Friday, my husband Dan and I found ourselves without two-thirds of our children.  Our oldest two were away on an overnight school trip.  When you’ve been married a thousand years like we have, and you find yourself with a rare night without most of your children, you start to thi/… Read full post »

Sometimes, no matter how badly we wish for things to be different from how they are, the time comes when we’re forced to confront the reality of the situation with both eyes open.  Resisting the truth tends to eventually hit us squarely in the jaw, like a knock-out punch, layi/… Read full post »

I’ve been having an interesting time lately reconnecting with people from my past on Facebook.  There’s nothing like reuniting with an old friend to envelop you in those warm and fuzzy memories.  In my recent Facebook experiences, however, the emphasis appears to be on th/… Read full post »

As if things haven’t been delightful enough around here, our unlovable dog Madame Cujo has decided to inject her own brand of fun into the mix.

If you’re at all familiar with Madame Cujo, our term of endearment for our miniature schnauzer, Shelby, you might r… Read full post »

It’s my birthday tomorrow.  I’ll be 46, starting the official downward slide toward 50 and my AARP card.

Being nearly 46 has brought me many surprises, not all of which are welcome ones. 

For example, I used to have an outstanding memory.  I could remem/… Read full post »

It’s morning.  I think of what day it is.  God, please let it not be the 15^th.  I don’t have the money for the payroll taxes.  Oh wait... did I pay the truck? Shit!  I didn’t pay the truck.   I hope that check comes today.  It’s W/… Read full post »

Since becoming a mother, my life has been one series of unbelievable moments after another. 

I’m sure that you’re thinking the word “unbelievable” has an exciting, magical connotation to it, right?  Not even close.  When I use the word &ldqu… Read full post »

Dear Bank of America,

We’ve been together a long time.  Since 1997, in fact.  I’ve known you longer than I’ve known one of my children, longer than I’ve owned my car, and longer than I’ve lived in my home.

We’ve been through many things… Read full post »

This one’s for the guys; those underloved, underappreciated guys. 

Can we talk?  I promise I’ll be quick and won’t ask you to call me in the morning.  Besides, this is a subject I know you’re interested in: S. E. X.  Surely you remember S/… Read full post »