MY RECENT POSTS
- Catnapping
January 13, 2012 11:58AM - A cheeseburger with a side of
karma
January 04, 2012 04:23PM - Adventures in Cat Rescuing
December 29, 2011 07:35AM - The Christmas Cat
December 23, 2011 10:58PM - Murder in the Produce Section
October 10, 2011 07:06AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “It's about time that
there's a PAC for the rest of
us. The
way our political
sys…”
January 30, 2012 08:12PM - “Bwhahaha! Of course, I
have absolutely no idea what
you're
talking about.”
January 27, 2012 08:28AM - “Thank you for this very
lovely post, a gorgeous
respite from
a gray and rainy
mor…”
January 27, 2012 08:25AM - “What an ordeal, Wren! I,
like others, want to know the
rest
of your story.
How…”
January 27, 2012 08:18AM - “Maria! What a fabulously
cool story. There's no doubt
in my
mind that your dad
wa…”
January 25, 2012 10:05PM
Lisa Kern's Links
- Some other things I've written
- Of Brass Monkeys
- Mighty Sweatin' Power Surgers, Unite!
- What if Different meant Wonderful?
- A Letter to God on My 47th Birthday
- Young Love aka How to Kill Your Mother
- Running Away: a Primer for Moms
- From Puberating to Dating in 2.3 Seconds
- Don't Axe, don't tell
- What's Lower than Bottom? I'm There.
- On Marriage and Rebates
- A sign that it's time to dust off the old diet plan
- The Truth about Santa
- Bad Ideas: The Advanced Course
- Pumpkin Carving for Procrastinators
- Let's Go to the Flea Market!
- No matter what you say, Mom, my fish will still be dead
- Can we axe the Axe...please?
- The Last Child Goes to Kindergarten
- To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!
- Christmas Expectations vs Realtiy
- Changing a Dog-Hater's Mind (or Not)
- 9-Year-Olds and the Art of Negotiation
- Tell Me Again Why We Didn't Let the Banks Fail
- Radio Shack, We Need to Talk
- Things to do while the kids are away
- Tragically Unhip? There's an App for that!
- In which I make you glad you don't have kids or pets
- We'll go out when your face clears up
- How to Publicly Embarrass Yourself Without Even Trying
- Farewell to a Broken Dog
- Facebook for the Feeble-Minded and Forgetful
- Caution: Birthday in Mirror is Larger than it Appears
- A View from the Bottom
- Sniffing the Hermit Crab & other Motherhood Imponderables
- Breaking up with Bank of America
- Dieting & Dangerous Underwear
- How OS Cured My Mid-Life Crisis
- Love: It's Elementary
- Channeling the Dog Whisperer: Madame Cujo Goes to the Vet
- The Wedding Ring
- Adventures in Bill-Paying: The Recession Edition
- No One Said There Would Be A Testicle Exam!
- You Want to Go Where After WHAT?!
- Purgatory is Found in Sharing A Bathroom With Boys
- Dispatches from a Voting Machine Operator
- Mom, I Think I'm Puberating!
- Watching the World Series with an 8-year old
- My Son's Obama Video
- I've Seen the Fringe & It Visits My Local 7-11
- On Choice, Regret, and Acceptance
- Pint-Sized Pundits: Kids and the Presidential Election
- A Most Unlovable Dog
- What Economic Crisis? I've Got it Covered!
- Facebook? Meet Mid-Life Crisis
- Obama Hasn't Called Me & I'm Starting to Take it Personally
- To the Woman on her Cell Phone in the Chinese Restaurant
- Finding Audrey's Tooth
- Dialogue with my Skinny Jeans
- Confessions of a Turbo Jam Dropout
- Thank You Suze Orman
- The Frustrated Father's Guide to Fool-Proof Foreplay
Catnapping
All I wanted was a nap. I’d been thinking about it all day at work, and now that I was finally home, I was determined to sneak in a nap before I had to make dinner.
I went into my bedroom and was surprised to see the cat curled in a… Read full post »
A cheeseburger with a side of karma
Once in a while, I'm not a nice person.
OK, OK...I'm frequently not a nice person. I complain about The Way Things Are (a lot,) I can be cranky and unpleasant, and I totally stink at remembering to be grateful for all that I have.
Lately, it feels as… Read full post »
Adventures in Cat Rescuing
For those of you following along at home, we still have FrodoJoseKitty, the stray cat who showed up at our door a couple of weeks ago. We made the decision that no matter how long he stays with us, he needs to be neutered. Concern about pet overpopulation combined with the/… Read full post »
The Christmas Cat
The Universe dropped off a cat at my back door the other night.
Actually, it wasn't the Universe at all but a woman from the hair salon next to my house. She and others at the salon had seen the cat hanging around between our properties and assumed that it/… Read full post »
Murder in the Produce Section
"I think we should kill it." Against the backdrop of muzak in our local grocery store, these words, spoken by my son, couldn't have been more out of place. Yet there we were, eleven-year-old Evan and I, contemplating murde… Read full post »

Today is my birthday. Number 48. That’s 336 in dog years.
Every year, as I celebrate one more trip around the sun, I like to reflect about what the previous year has given me. Sometimes, those gifts aren’t so welcome (did I really need a swarm of termites in/… Read full post »
You're Grounded!

Cleaning up the kitchen isn’t usually a hazardous activity, which explains why I was especially unprepared for the full force stream of water that hit me squarely in the chest the moment I turned on the tap. The water, ordinarily flowing downward from the faucet, was/… Read full post »

(excuse me, would you like to buy a box of evil?)
When I married my husband twenty-five years ago, we made all sorts of promises to one another. Basically, we agreed to tolerate each other when we’re cranky, not bail on the marriage when one person fails at using the lau/… Read full post »

With all of my kids now middle school age or older, I really thought that I’d made it through the toughest part of parenting. I mean, once you’ve survived the sleepless nights of infancy, toilet training, and fishing Lego bricks out of a child’s nose (twice), the/… Read full post »
In which Mom must admit she's wrong

The unthinkable has happened. Hell has frozen over, and pigs can now fly.
It must be some sort of cosmic manipulation. There is no other explanation.
I wonder if the Mayans had something to do with it.
Like all exciting and magica… Read full post »

Evan is talking my ear off again. In fact, he’s been doing that very thing for the past three hours. He ran to catch up with me while I was walking the dog so that he could tell me all about the things that are important to a ten-year-old/… Read full post »
Mighty Sweatin' Power Surgers, Unite!
Here’s something you may not know about me: I tend to imagine the worst possible outcome in nearly every situation. It may be due to my professional background, having been trained to imagine all conceivable ways that things can go wrong in order to adequately insure ag/… Read full post »
Abusing deadbeats: the new national pastime
People have been asking me what I’ve been doing the past few months. I wish I could answer with a glamorous response. I’d love to be able to say, “I’ve been on my book tour,” or “I’ve been working with the folks at Axe to create a body spra… Read full post »
My son Evan has a birthmark. What’s unusual about it is that it’s not only quite large, about 2 inches by 4 inches, but it’s also completely flat and much paler than his skin tone. It’s almost as if he was born before someone had finished coloring him. … Read full post »

Dear God,
Well, it’s my birthday again. Number 47. I owe you some thanks for keeping me alive on this earth for all these years, even though the past several months have been rather iffy. You’ve got to admit; you’ve thrown some majorly crummy stuff my… Read full post »
Buying our Home: a Series of Fortunate Events
We had looked at so many houses. For nearly three years, every weekend was spent at Open House events, to the point that our children thought that going to Open Houses was our special Sunday family tradition. In spite of our dedication to house-hunting, none of the hundreds of hous/… Read full post »
Young Love aka How to Kill Your Mother
I’ve always considered myself a fairly rational parent. I contemplate all options before making a decision. I discuss things with my kids, making sure to listen to their viewpoints. I do my best to remain respectful toward them even if I secretly wonder what kind of dru/… Read full post »
That’s it. I’ve made up my mind. I’m running away.
This mom-thing is exhausting, the pay is lousy, and I don’t even get a single day off. Besides, these kids are entirely too stinky and messy. Today I came home to discover the e/… Read full post »
The longer I’m a parent, the more it occurs to me that this parenting gig would be so much easier if kids either came with instruction manuals or if they skipped the teen years altogether. What’s worse is discovering that the same parents can have multiple children wired so d… Read full post »
Anyone with kids ages 8-13 into Axe body sprays?
Hi Everyone,
This isn't a traditional blog post - just a notification.
I was contacted today by a producer at CBS News who'd read my latest Axe piece. He's doing a story about Axe and similar body sprays being used by young kids (ages 8-13) and is interested in speaking… Read full post »
s'NOw More, Please!
The snow in our area this winter has been the gift that keeps on giving. The only problem is, none of us really want it.
Yesterday, we were treated to two and half feet of snow, just in case the 20 inches we received five days before wasn’t enough… Read full post »
Evan was worried about something. He stayed near me in the kitchen as I prepared his lunch for school, silently tracing the floor tiles with his big toe: over, down, across, and up. His silence was uncharacteristic. Normally, he’d be chatting away breathlessly, bu/… Read full post »
Good News Sunday: Letting some sunshine in
It’s time to open up the blinds on my blog and let some light in. That last post of mine was much too dark. I firmly believe that even if you have things that are troubling you, it’s no reason to spend all of your time mucking around in/… Read full post »
As is the case with many of us, the current economic climate has forced us to do things we never imagined we’d have to do. For some, giving up premium cable channels and a daily latte is enough to ease the budget. For others like me, more drastic actions are/… Read full post »
Something we can all do: The 3/50 Project
In my town, there’s a small independent bookstore. Its prices are a bit higher than the chain book stores and much higher than Amazon, but they have ten times the service of those places. They will locate and obtain, usually within a day or two, any book that you desire/… Read full post »
Lisa Kern's Favorites
Updates
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How To Go Forward When Things Have Gone Too Far To Go Back
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How I Saved My Teaching Career: Introduction
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Taxes, Sunday Hike and Kids Being Kids
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My unsolved mystery from Valentine's Day, 1977
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thanksgiving at last part iv
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Like a Virgin - One Year Later
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With Ann Coulter on the Jewish Conversion Tour
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A Valentine to Older Love & Romance

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