MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “This is so funny,
Amanda! Thanks for finding
such fun
literary art in the
activ…”
10:36PM - “I can't believe this.
I've never been this surprised
at a
verdict since the OJ
S…”
10:33PM - “I'm so disappointed that
the editors didn't find this
post
and put it on the
cove…”
8:18PM - “Gwendolyn - I agree. In
fact, Embarrassment of
Teenagers is
recommended by 4
out…”
8:15PM - “I share your pain. WTF
is up with the scooter
solicitations?
I can still
walk!…”
1:58PM
Lisa Kern's Links
- Some other things I've written
- Running Away: a Primer for Moms
- From Puberating to Dating in 2.3 Seconds
- Don't Axe, don't tell
- What's Lower than Bottom? I'm There.
- On Marriage and Rebates
- A sign that it's time to dust off the old diet plan
- The Truth about Santa
- Bad Ideas: The Advanced Course
- Pumpkin Carving for Procrastinators
- Let's Go to the Flea Market!
- No matter what you say, Mom, my fish will still be dead
- Can we axe the Axe...please?
- The Last Child Goes to Kindergarten
- To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!
- Christmas Expectations vs Realtiy
- Changing a Dog-Hater's Mind (or Not)
- 9-Year-Olds and the Art of Negotiation
- Tell Me Again Why We Didn't Let the Banks Fail
- Radio Shack, We Need to Talk
- Things to do while the kids are away
- Radio Shack, we need to talk
- Tragically Unhip? There's an App for that!
- In which I make you glad you don't have kids or pets
- We'll go out when your face clears up
- How to Publicly Embarrass Yourself Without Even Trying
- Farewell to a Broken Dog
- Facebook for the Feeble-Minded and Forgetful
- Caution: Birthday in Mirror is Larger than it Appears
- A View from the Bottom
- Sniffing the Hermit Crab & other Motherhood Imponderables
- Breaking up with Bank of America
- Dieting & Dangerous Underwear
- How OS Cured My Mid-Life Crisis
- Love: It's Elementary
- Channeling the Dog Whisperer: Madame Cujo Goes to the Vet
- The Wedding Ring
- Adventures in Bill-Paying: The Recession Edition
- No One Said There Would Be A Testicle Exam!
- You Want to Go Where After WHAT?!
- Purgatory is Found in Sharing A Bathroom With Boys
- Dispatches from a Voting Machine Operator
- Mom, I Think I'm Puberating!
- Watching the World Series with an 8-year old
- My Son's Obama Video
- I've Seen the Fringe & It Visits My Local 7-11
- On Choice, Regret, and Acceptance
- Pint-Sized Pundits: Kids and the Presidential Election
- A Most Unlovable Dog
- What Economic Crisis? I've Got it Covered!
- Facebook? Meet Mid-Life Crisis
- Obama Hasn't Called Me & I'm Starting to Take it Personally
- To the Woman on her Cell Phone in the Chinese Restaurant
- Finding Audrey's Tooth
- Dialogue with my Skinny Jeans
- Confessions of a Turbo Jam Dropout
- Thank You Suze Orman
- The Frustrated Father's Guide to Fool-Proof Foreplay
- Favorites on the Net
- Margaret & Helen
- PostSecret.com
- Funny or Die (videos)
- Friends Council on Nat'l Legislation
Buying our Home: a Series of Fortunate Events
We had looked at so many houses. For nearly three years, every weekend was spent at Open House events, to the point that our children thought that going to Open Houses was our special Sunday family tradition. In spite of our dedication to house-hunting, none of the hundreds of hous/… Read full post »
Young Love aka How to Kill Your Mother
I’ve always considered myself a fairly rational parent. I contemplate all options before making a decision. I discuss things with my kids, making sure to listen to their viewpoints. I do my best to remain respectful toward them even if I secretly wonder what kind of dru/… Read full post »
That’s it. I’ve made up my mind. I’m running away.
This mom-thing is exhausting, the pay is lousy, and I don’t even get a single day off. Besides, these kids are entirely too stinky and messy. Today I came home to discover the e/… Read full post »
The longer I’m a parent, the more it occurs to me that this parenting gig would be so much easier if kids either came with instruction manuals or if they skipped the teen years altogether. What’s worse is discovering that the same parents can have multiple children wired so d… Read full post »
Anyone with kids ages 8-13 into Axe body sprays?
Hi Everyone,
This isn't a traditional blog post - just a notification.
I was contacted today by a producer at CBS News who'd read my latest Axe piece. He's doing a story about Axe and similar body sprays being used by young kids (ages 8-13) and is interested in speaking… Read full post »
s'NOw More, Please!
The snow in our area this winter has been the gift that keeps on giving. The only problem is, none of us really want it.
Yesterday, we were treated to two and half feet of snow, just in case the 20 inches we received five days before wasn’t enough… Read full post »
Evan was worried about something. He stayed near me in the kitchen as I prepared his lunch for school, silently tracing the floor tiles with his big toe: over, down, across, and up. His silence was uncharacteristic. Normally, he’d be chatting away breathlessly, bu/… Read full post »
Good News Sunday: Letting some sunshine in
It’s time to open up the blinds on my blog and let some light in. That last post of mine was much too dark. I firmly believe that even if you have things that are troubling you, it’s no reason to spend all of your time mucking around in/… Read full post »
As is the case with many of us, the current economic climate has forced us to do things we never imagined we’d have to do. For some, giving up premium cable channels and a daily latte is enough to ease the budget. For others like me, more drastic actions are/… Read full post »
Something we can all do: The 3/50 Project
In my town, there’s a small independent bookstore. Its prices are a bit higher than the chain book stores and much higher than Amazon, but they have ten times the service of those places. They will locate and obtain, usually within a day or two, any book that you desire/… Read full post »
My husband Dan and I have been married for 24 years. That's 168 dog-years or, in that even truer measure of marital fortitude, 6,240 loads of laundry. You cannot possibly live with another person for that many years, washing his underwear and socks, without getting to know… Read full post »
Good News Sunday: Laugh a lot and skip the gym
File this under News that Should've Been in the Headlines but Wasn't.
A study conducted by Maciej Buchowski, Ph.D of Vanderbilt University Medical Center has found that a good laugh can do more than merely lift your mood: it can also burn a significant number of calories.
Buchowski f… Read full post »
A sign that it's time to dust off the old diet plan
I’m not sure, but I think my body is trying to tell me something.
Over the past year, my body has disappointed me in many ways: from the wrinkles I didn't order to the hair growth in random places where I can't see it. Let’s not forget about the unkind thi… Read full post »
I admit it. When it comes to the holidays, I can be a bit of a Grinch. Like many of us, I suffer from a common problem: too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. Throw Christmas into my already frenzied life and things/… Read full post »
I adore my oldest son. He’s 19, smart, funny, and one of the most musically talented people that I know. Sometimes, however, I can’t help but worry that somewhere along the line, something didn’t develop fully in his brain: synapses failed to connect, a switch didn/… Read full post »
Writing under the inFLUence
Man, do I ever feel like crap. Every part of me, from my head to my toes, is hurting, aching, sniffling, coughing, sneezing, or sweating, and doing it all pretty much at the same time.
This is all Dan's fault. I was completely fine and healthy and enjoying life… Read full post »
Pumpkin Carving for Procrastinators

If you’re like me, the annual Pumpkin Carving ritual is a chore that you tend to put off until the last minute. It’s not that I don’t want to spend two hours of my life carving a perfectly good vegetable with a godawful sharp knife so that it/… Read full post »
A beautiful fall day is perfect for a country flea market. One thing is certain: even if you can’t find any bargains, there’s always plenty of absurdity to go around. Throw on a pair of your rattiest jeans, a flannel shirt, and a John Deere cap and come along with me/… Read full post »

It was a rare peaceful evening and I was the only one downstairs. I was relishing the quiet and appreciating the uncommon opportunity to read more than a sentence in my book before being interrupted by someone needing something.
/…
My teenager is trying to kill me. Really.
It’s a slow, torturous murder that he’s attempting instead of the quick but unsuccessful ways he’s tried in the past (childbirth, sharing assorted childhood illnesses, learning to drive, dating awful girls, and that certa… Read full post »
Say It Now: Honoring 9/11
Ask anyone over the age of 10 where they were eight years ago today and they will be able to tell you.
They’ll tell you about how beautifully blue the skies were that day. Not even a single cloud interrupted the bright sunshine. A perfect Indian summer day.
They’ll… Read full post »
(This piece was written a few years ago when my last child started kindergarten and I needed some place to put the feelings.)
Evan, my youngest child, started kindergarten last week. For the first time in 13 years, I have the house to myself during the day with no/… Read full post »
To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!
I think I'm cursed.
It’s not the type of curse you’d expect, such as I am cursed with unreasonable curly hair, or cursed with a hoarding disease where books are involved. Oh no; nothing ordinary like that. My flavor of curse is like nothing of which I’ve ever heard: … Read full post »
Changing a Dog-hater's Mind (or Not)
The Dog, who had been napping peacefully, jumps excitedly to her feet. Someone’s at the door! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Open it, open it, open it! Meeting people is my favorite thing. The Dog positions herself so that upon e/… Read full post »
“Mom, we have to go to Gamestop tonight at midnight,” my son Evan announced last night.
“Midnight?” I responded. “Who goes to Gamestop at midnight?”
“We have to go, Mom. Wii Resort Sports will be there!”
&ldq… Read full post »



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