The unthinkable has happened. Hell has frozen over, and pigs can now fly.
It must be some sort of cosmic manipulation. There is no other explanation.
I wonder if the Mayans had something to do with it.
Like all exciting and magical things, I was, of course, the last one to find out. It probably happened while I was holed up in the laundry room with those never ending laundry piles. All of the interesting stuff happens while I’m busy washing other people’s underwear.
The other day, I was working at the computer. My oldest son was getting ready to go out and had just finished taking a shower. The usual steamy mix of chlorine, soap, and musky boy wafted down the stairs and into my office.
After a few moments, a strange new scent greeted my nose. Instead of the normal lingering soggy boy stink, this scent was something new and invigorating, refreshing and light. It smelled clean, fresh, and comforting, like a fragrance from my childhood. It felt familiar yet foreign at the same time. Of course, any kind of agreeable smell is foreign in a house that's usually perfumed by Eau d' Wet Dog, cooking catastrophes, and socks that have been worn for too many days.
The new scent was so delightful that I kept inhaling it over and over. I couldn’t seem to get enough of this pleasurable, satisfying fragrance. I breathed it in deeply, filling my lungs with this wonderful new smell.
Evan hopped downstairs and into my office in the midst of my fragrance quest. At last, there was someone else to help me track down the source of the pleasing smell.
“Evan, what’s that amazing smell? It smells really good, but I can’t figure out what it is or where it’s coming from.”
He looked at me with horror, as if I’d just suggested we eat the dog for lunch.
“I don’t think you want to know what that smell is,” he cautioned.
“What are you talking about? Of course I do! I haven’t smelled anything that wonderful in a long time. It smells so lovely and clean. I definitely want to know what it is and where it’s coming from.”
Evan grinned at me and walked over to the bottom of the stairs. “Ok, as long as you’re sure.”
He looked back at me before shouting up to his brother:
“Hey Ryan…you’ll never believe it. Mom likes the smell of your new Axe!”
And that’s how I found myself in the unimaginable situation of having to admit that not every Axe scent smells like pepper and cat pee. There is at least one that borders on the divine.
Looks like I owe the makers of Axe Body Spray an apology.
Just as soon as I'm done with this laundry.
*flying pig image created by my son, Ryan Kern. He smells nice and he's talented.