Lisa Kern

Lisa Kern
Location
Pennsylvania, US
Birthday
March 28
Bio
I'm a mom of three boys, a needy dog, and an insolent cat. When I'm not writing, vacuuming up pet hair, or cleaning pee off the toilet seat, I like to fantasize about jeans that actually fit and an all-you-can-eat-chocolate-and-cheese diet. Welcome to my party.

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NOVEMBER 5, 2010 1:13PM

In which Mom must admit she's wrong

Rate: 44 Flag

 

Made for me by my talented and sweet-smelling son.
 

The unthinkable has happened.  Hell has frozen over, and pigs can now fly. 

 

It must be some sort of cosmic manipulation.  There is no other explanation.  

 

I wonder if the Mayans had something to do with it.

 

Like all exciting and magical things, I was, of course, the last one to find out.  It probably happened while I was holed up in the laundry room with those never ending laundry piles.  All of the interesting stuff happens while I’m busy washing other people’s underwear.

 

The other day, I was working at the computer.  My oldest son was getting ready to go out and had just finished taking a shower.  The usual steamy mix of chlorine, soap, and musky boy wafted down the stairs and into my office.   

 

After a few moments, a strange new scent greeted my nose.  Instead of the normal lingering soggy boy stink, this scent was something new and invigorating, refreshing and light.  It smelled clean, fresh, and comforting, like a fragrance from my childhood.  It felt familiar yet foreign at the same time.  Of course, any kind of agreeable smell is foreign in a house that's usually perfumed by Eau d' Wet Dog, cooking catastrophes, and socks that have been worn for too many days.

 

The new scent was so delightful that I kept inhaling it over and over.  I couldn’t seem to get enough of this pleasurable, satisfying fragrance.  I breathed it in deeply, filling my lungs with this wonderful new smell.

 

Evan hopped downstairs and into my office in the midst of my fragrance quest.  At last, there was someone else to help me track down the source of the pleasing smell.

 

                “Evan, what’s that amazing smell?  It smells really good, but I can’t figure out what it is or where it’s coming from.” 

 

He looked at me with horror, as if I’d just suggested we eat the dog for lunch.

 

                “I don’t think you want to know what that smell is,” he cautioned. 

 

                “What are you talking about?  Of course I do!  I haven’t smelled anything that wonderful in a long time.  It smells so lovely and clean.  I definitely want to know what it is and where it’s coming from.” 

 

Evan grinned at me and walked over to the bottom of the stairs.  “Ok, as long as you’re sure.”

 

He looked back at me before shouting up to his brother:

 

                “Hey Ryan…you’ll never believe it.  Mom likes the smell of your new Axe!”

 

And that’s how I found myself in the unimaginable situation of having to admit that not every Axe scent smells like pepper and cat pee.  There is at least one that borders on the divine.

 

Looks like I owe the makers of Axe Body Spray an apology. 

 

Just as soon as I'm done with this laundry.

 

 

 *flying pig image created by my son, Ryan Kern.  He smells nice and he's talented.   

**for those unfamiliar with the Axe back story and why this new scent was such a surprise, you can read about it here and here.

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My fellow moms will want to know: it's called Twist.
I know I won't be able to get my son to try any variety of Axe. At age twenty-one, he is completely stuck in his ways.
The AXE man cometh. This is irony with a capital I.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahaha.

Thanks for the laugh. ;)
I find this to be so very helpful since I have one of those boy type People at home who is on the cusp of wanting to smell good.
Lisa, thanks for this funny story and it's very helpful that you named the particular fragrance "Twist" as you would be no doubt axed a question regarding that!
I'll suggest it to the Giant in place of whatever Axe he's been using lately . . . One less headache is always welcome!
Maybe it just smells better from a distance? This is a funny post, Lisa.

Lezlie
Maybe they (axe spray) listened to you. Of course the entire time I was expecting the kid to be using Old Spice body wash and to be in shock that the smell has been around for generations and not really something new.
Oh one more thing...you weren't wrong, you were just a little short of being right.
I NEVER thought you were going to say AXE!!!
ladyslipper - Look on the bright side: if your son is not willing to try Axe at all, you'll at least be spared the nasty varieties.

Sheepy - I know. I couldn't believe it myself!

Jess - I'm glad that I could be of help. You do not want your kid to make choices based upon what the Axe girls at the mall are shoving at him. (That sounds terrible, but you know what I mean... Axe samples.)

designanator - Bwahaha! It never gets old, does it? Thanks for stopping by. :)

Owl - So nice to see you! Let me know what you think of the scent, OK?

Lezlie - You know, if I hadn't already titled this, I'd be tempted to use your words, "maybe it just smells better from a distance." Thanks for the chuckle!

o'stephanie - I know, right?

ocularnervosa - It's funny you mentioned Old Spice. Middle Boy is looking for a scent of his own (I know - hold me.) We were smelling the different ones in the Man Spray aisle. One Old Spice scent that we smelled could rouse the dead. It was a new variety and it was just awful!

j lynn - I know! The kids still tease me about it. My mom-cred has seriously gone down the tubes over this one.
Stellaa - Ha! If Axe Twist sales suddenly spike, do you think they'd give me a cut?
An interesting side effect of being an expatriate Brit living in the US is frequently having to use up the remainder of assorted bathroom products purchased by visiting relatives and left in the shower. So I am familiar with one of the Axe body wash products, and it seemed quite pleasant. At least it passed the two important tests; it didn't make me sneeze, and my honey didn't say "What the heck is that smell?"
I enjoyed this, but have to confess that I have never smelled any version of Axe, at least to my knowledge. I guess that makes me lucky.
So Axe finally created one on the cutting edge, eh?
Heavens Lisa! Who'd a thunk it??? I visited a very dear friend recently and in the bathroom cabinet was ...AXE! It was my first encounter, but based on your prior informative posts, I wasn't even tempted to take a mildly curious whiff! I HAVE to wonder if your prior Failure To Endorse (echoed by Moms everywhere) had something to do with development of the new fragrance?? Can you spray it as air freshener?
I loved this post. Now I have to go read the backstory. Also, yes, everything interesting happens while we're washing other peoples' underwear. Darn it!
So funny! I'm glad I have several years until this stage. Though lord knows what they'll dream up by then!
Oh yes I know that smell well and sadly the other ones too :)
Life is what happens to you when you're washing other people's underwear. Thanks for giving me something to laugh about today!
Hah!Be careful this could be the beginning of Mom being wrong quite a lot ....
I was about to ask the name of it.
I'll have to get my son that one.
I sometimes wonder how their 1st hour teachers survive, the smell of 15 or so boys arriving with newly applied Axe. Very funny.r
Axe owes you something....
One of your google ads says: Do You Have Dirty Balls? Get your balls clean the Axe way. I kid you not!
Lisa, first off I'm glad that a new, fresh, completely acceptable smell has entered your home...but second - this means that your son broke the Axe Ban!!!
This is hysterical! My sons just started using Axe body wash and deodorant and finally their bathroom doesn't smell like a dirty alley.
I was hoping it was Old Spice Original Scent Body Wash, so I could ask you to send me some.
You got me good! I was sure you were going to say he was wearing his father's Old Spice! You have now Aced the Axe Trilogy.
Quite the twist, then. ;)

Well done, Lisa.
"All the most interesting stuff happens while I'm doing other people's laundry" is my new favorite quotation!
Whew - thanks for cluing me on which scent it is. I'd hate to have to go through all of that trial and error trying to find it! My son's 7th grade friends are all over the aeropostale men's fragrance - I have to admit it does smell kind of nice, but all wrong on a 12 yr old boy!
I wonder what all the men in your family will be getting for Christmas this year...


{[R]}
HA! The Axe chronicles continue on. Twist, huh? Yes, you had better right that apology letter as you were pretty hard on the original Axe. Bet your boys loved this one!
Yes! We call it "Tolerable Twist" for EXACTLY the same reason!!

I'm so glad to see to see you again in these parts. I feel like, in many ways, we lead the same life with the laundry and the perpetual showering of adolescent boys............
Just wanted to let you know that I recounted your post to my husband over dinner (as word for word as I could recall) and we were both laughing so hard tears were coming out of our eyes and the owner of our favorite restaurant came over to ask if we were OK!
Hi Lisa,

So nice to hear that life goes on - aromatically - for your and yours :)
Learn something every day ;-)
lmao. Just keep reminding yourself it builds character for mom to admit error (or a change in opinion) once in awhile - in you and the kids.
I've been wrong about far worse things. Now I want to know WHY he's wearing the Axe? There could be more to the story...
Now that is a story with a twist. Wonderful!
Thanks for the laugh, Lisa. A great way to start the day.
Thanks for the laugh, Lisa!
HA!!!!! Remember when I was the only one on OS that spoke up and said that I had some that was pretty good?

I seem to recall someone (maybe even ME) saying that Mexico can smell so bad that almost anything that didn't smell like pig farts would seem lovely. (I live on the ocean, so the pig farts get washed clean in the sea breeze.)

Apology accepted, my dear..........enjoy the smelling!
I love it! So funny, as are your past posts on Axe. Such a clever writing style! Rated and now a fav too!