Lisa Kern
- Location
- Pennsylvania, US
- Birthday
- March 28
- Bio
- I'm a mom of three boys, a needy dog, and an insolent cat. When I'm not writing, vacuuming up pet hair, or cleaning pee off the toilet seat, I like to fantasize about jeans that actually fit and an all-you-can-eat-chocolate-and-cheese diet. Welcome to my party.
MY RECENT POSTS
- Bailey gets her groom on
April 23, 2013 07:57PM - Evan's Rules of Proper
Parental Behavior
May 15, 2012 01:12PM - Bringing spices
May 04, 2012 09:03AM - Evan, the Cat Whisperer
April 18, 2012 08:39AM - The Jesus Dryer
March 20, 2012 09:43AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Great news indeed! The
story sounds wonderful. I hope
you'll
allow us to read
i…”
May 24, 2013 04:15PM - “Well, I am certainly
glad that I didn't ignore
others' advice
to read this!
Excel…”
May 24, 2013 08:14AM - “This is beautiful, Ann,
but I still believe that our
souls
are unique and
that's…”
May 20, 2013 12:00PM - “Sorry about the
duplicate comment. Can you
please delete the
first one
which has…”
May 12, 2013 10:40AM - “I thought I was the only
one who struggles mightily in
the
card section. You
said…”
May 12, 2013 10:38AM
Lisa Kern's Links
- MY LINKS
- $4.95/mo Web Hosting
- Bringing Spices
- The Jesus Dryer
- A Cheeseburger with a Side of Karma
- Of Birthday, Badgers, and Brand New Dreams
- You're Grounded!
- For Better or Worse, as Long as Cookies Aren't Involved
- Finding Love at EmoHarmony.com
- In Which Mom Must Admit She's Wrong
- Of Brass Monkeys
- Mighty Sweatin' Power Surgers, Unite!
- What if Different meant Wonderful?
- A Letter to God on My 47th Birthday
- Young Love aka How to Kill Your Mother
- Running Away: a Primer for Moms
- From Puberating to Dating in 2.3 Seconds
- Don't Axe, don't tell
- What's Lower than Bottom? I'm There.
- On Marriage and Rebates
- A sign that it's time to dust off the old diet plan
- The Truth about Santa
- Bad Ideas: The Advanced Course
- Pumpkin Carving for Procrastinators
- Let's Go to the Flea Market!
- No matter what you say, Mom, my fish will still be dead
- Can we axe the Axe...please?
- The Last Child Goes to Kindergarten
- To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!
- Christmas Expectations vs Realtiy
- Changing a Dog-Hater's Mind (or Not)
- 9-Year-Olds and the Art of Negotiation
- Tell Me Again Why We Didn't Let the Banks Fail
- Radio Shack, We Need to Talk
- Things to do while the kids are away
- Tragically Unhip? There's an App for that!
- In which I make you glad you don't have kids or pets
- We'll go out when your face clears up
- How to Publicly Embarrass Yourself Without Even Trying
- Farewell to a Broken Dog
- Facebook for the Feeble-Minded and Forgetful
- Caution: Birthday in Mirror is Larger than it Appears
- A View from the Bottom
- Sniffing the Hermit Crab & other Motherhood Imponderables
- Breaking up with Bank of America
- Dieting & Dangerous Underwear
- How OS Cured My Mid-Life Crisis
- Love: It's Elementary
- Channeling the Dog Whisperer: Madame Cujo Goes to the Vet
- The Wedding Ring
- Adventures in Bill-Paying: The Recession Edition
- No One Said There Would Be A Testicle Exam!
- You Want to Go Where After WHAT?!
- Purgatory is Found in Sharing A Bathroom With Boys
- Dispatches from a Voting Machine Operator
- Mom, I Think I'm Puberating!
- Watching the World Series with an 8-year old
- My Son's Obama Video
- I've Seen the Fringe & It Visits My Local 7-11
- On Choice, Regret, and Acceptance
- Pint-Sized Pundits: Kids and the Presidential Election
- A Most Unlovable Dog
- What Economic Crisis? I've Got it Covered!
- Facebook? Meet Mid-Life Crisis
- Obama Hasn't Called Me & I'm Starting to Take it Personally
- To the Woman on her Cell Phone in the Chinese Restaurant
- Finding Audrey's Tooth
- Dialogue with my Skinny Jeans
- Confessions of a Turbo Jam Dropout
- Thank You Suze Orman
- The Frustrated Father's Guide to Fool-Proof Foreplay
May 24, 2013 04:15PM
“Great news indeed! The story sounds wonderful. I hope you'll allow us to read it before you become famous and forget about us. :)”
About: Leave them Smiling When You Go
“Great news indeed! The story sounds wonderful. I hope you'll allow us to read it before you become famous and forget about us. :)”
About: Leave them Smiling When You Go
May 24, 2013 08:14AM
“Well, I am certainly glad that I didn't ignore others' advice to read this! Excellent advice, Dr. Spud. It's so wonderful to read you again!”
About: Best Tip Ever: Ignore More
“Well, I am certainly glad that I didn't ignore others' advice to read this! Excellent advice, Dr. Spud. It's so wonderful to read you again!”
About: Best Tip Ever: Ignore More
May 20, 2013 12:00PM
“This is beautiful, Ann, but I still believe that our souls are unique and that's what gives us our "flavor." Your soul, by the way, is lovel…”
About: Turn and Face the (Strange) Changes
“This is beautiful, Ann, but I still believe that our souls are unique and that's what gives us our "flavor." Your soul, by the way, is lovel…”
About: Turn and Face the (Strange) Changes
May 12, 2013 10:40AM
“Sorry about the duplicate comment. Can you please delete the first one which has a typo?”
About: Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?
“Sorry about the duplicate comment. Can you please delete the first one which has a typo?”
About: Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?
May 12, 2013 10:38AM
“I thought I was the only one who struggles mightily in the card section. You said what I feel. My mother is still alive, and has mellowed a bit, so may…”
About: Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?
“I thought I was the only one who struggles mightily in the card section. You said what I feel. My mother is still alive, and has mellowed a bit, so may…”
About: Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?
May 11, 2013 09:09PM
“I love it! That's a great kid you've got, Sally. Happy Mother's Day!”
About: My Most Excellent Mother's Day Story
“I love it! That's a great kid you've got, Sally. Happy Mother's Day!”
About: My Most Excellent Mother's Day Story
May 08, 2013 07:21AM
“Shiral!!!! I am so delighted to see you here! Thank you for stopping by and reading (and also for totally understanding a dog's true essence.) XOXO”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Shiral!!!! I am so delighted to see you here! Thank you for stopping by and reading (and also for totally understanding a dog's true essence.) XOXO”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
May 03, 2013 03:31PM
“And this is why we all love you! :) I've wanted to raise chickens for a long time, but the "after they're done laying" part always stops me.…”
About: The Incubator was a mistake
“And this is why we all love you! :) I've wanted to raise chickens for a long time, but the "after they're done laying" part always stops me.…”
About: The Incubator was a mistake
May 01, 2013 12:48PM
“You're not crazy. You've received a profound gift - the gift of knowing first-hand that this life isn't all there is. Wishing you comfort as you navi…”
About: Saying Goodbye
“You're not crazy. You've received a profound gift - the gift of knowing first-hand that this life isn't all there is. Wishing you comfort as you navi…”
About: Saying Goodbye
May 01, 2013 12:39PM
“Aw, geez - OS stopped sending me notifications of comments. So sorry about that! nerd cred - THANK YOU for the information! I just may try this myself…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Aw, geez - OS stopped sending me notifications of comments. So sorry about that! nerd cred - THANK YOU for the information! I just may try this myself…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 24, 2013 04:01PM
“Stim - So nice to see you! And I agree...why not make scents that the animals enjoy? I've always wondered why cat food comes in turkey and beef flavo…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Stim - So nice to see you! And I agree...why not make scents that the animals enjoy? I've always wondered why cat food comes in turkey and beef flavo…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 24, 2013 02:18PM
“I don't think we can ever be truly free of deeds done against us until we're able to forgive the perpetrators. Forgiveness, of course, doesn't mean we…”
About: Forgiveness has nothing to do with Prosecution
“I don't think we can ever be truly free of deeds done against us until we're able to forgive the perpetrators. Forgiveness, of course, doesn't mean we…”
About: Forgiveness has nothing to do with Prosecution
April 24, 2013 02:11PM
“jlsathre - They were still trying to sell me stuff when I dropped her off this morning! I just picked her up. She does look really good. Poor thing…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“jlsathre - They were still trying to sell me stuff when I dropped her off this morning! I just picked her up. She does look really good. Poor thing…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 24, 2013 12:40PM
“Gary - I don't know - I think Bailey would more prefer a sardine bath. She loves to get stinky. She flops herself down in the field behind our house…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Gary - I don't know - I think Bailey would more prefer a sardine bath. She loves to get stinky. She flops herself down in the field behind our house…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 24, 2013 12:36PM
“Fellow clencher here, too. I've actually caused the teeth in my mouth to move from clenching them so hard! When you figure out how to unclench, pleas…”
About: Unclench
“Fellow clencher here, too. I've actually caused the teeth in my mouth to move from clenching them so hard! When you figure out how to unclench, pleas…”
About: Unclench
April 24, 2013 09:03AM
“Antoinette - your comment made me giggle. Just a few minutes ago, I glanced in the mirror at my unruly hair and pronounced it "good enough."…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Antoinette - your comment made me giggle. Just a few minutes ago, I glanced in the mirror at my unruly hair and pronounced it "good enough."…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 23, 2013 08:41PM
“Gabby - I know, right? Bailey prefers to smell like field grass and bunny turds. Mango? Pffft! Susan - I was thinking the same thing: they should giv…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
“Gabby - I know, right? Bailey prefers to smell like field grass and bunny turds. Mango? Pffft! Susan - I was thinking the same thing: they should giv…”
About: Bailey gets her groom on
April 23, 2013 08:37PM
“Oh Gary! Not sure what moves me more - your photos or your words. I love the expectant stance of Buddy in the first photo. The last photo is so evoc…”
About: In Analogue Home Time
“Oh Gary! Not sure what moves me more - your photos or your words. I love the expectant stance of Buddy in the first photo. The last photo is so evoc…”
About: In Analogue Home Time
April 23, 2013 08:33PM
“This totally made me smile. In fact, I bet even Annette would have grinned.”
About: Mom Always Liked Me Best
“This totally made me smile. In fact, I bet even Annette would have grinned.”
About: Mom Always Liked Me Best
April 23, 2013 08:30PM
“It's so simple - letting go of the story - yet so few of us are able to successfully do it. You were wise to counsel your friend that she no longer ha…”
About: Change your story, change your life
“It's so simple - letting go of the story - yet so few of us are able to successfully do it. You were wise to counsel your friend that she no longer ha…”
About: Change your story, change your life
April 23, 2013 08:23PM
“Hmmm...now you've got me thinking. It might be fun to imagine my critic as a vulture - gobbling up the yucky parts so that I can see more clearly the…”
About: Transforming the Critic
“Hmmm...now you've got me thinking. It might be fun to imagine my critic as a vulture - gobbling up the yucky parts so that I can see more clearly the…”
About: Transforming the Critic
April 22, 2013 07:48PM
“Beautiful, evocative writing, Ande. As I was reading, I couldn't help but picture a fast-moving conveyor belt with you struggling to hang on to it. I i…”
About: A Thousand Small Deaths.
“Beautiful, evocative writing, Ande. As I was reading, I couldn't help but picture a fast-moving conveyor belt with you struggling to hang on to it. I i…”
About: A Thousand Small Deaths.
Lisa Kern's Favorites
Updates
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Guest Post: Do You Listen to Critics?
-
Odd Couple Fights Lonely Battle Against Grade Inflation
-
Thoughts on Paul McCartney Turning 71
-
The Quality of Mercy: Mad Men Season 6, Episode 12
-
PLAN B! Where were you 30 years ago?
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Summers Solstice 2013
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What Happened The Day I Was A Zebra
-
Homeless: Robin Hood
Salon.com