1. Way to go, Arlen Specter!

Here in PA, we don't give a rat's ass that you've been a Republican and now you're a Democrat. Big woo. You're one of the most respected, most senior senators in the whole darn-fangled nation, you've more than ably represented the interests of not just the state, but America, over many, many years, you're a credit to us, and we've been voting for you for decades whether or not you've got "GOP" stamped to your forehead. That you're a Dem now is just a plus to us. And validation.

2. Hey, MSNBC! I don't care about Elkhart, Indiana!

For weeks now, your journalists have been doing in-depth reporting on this city, this supposed poster-child of hard times that we're all supposed to relate to. That's OLD-SCHOOL journalism when you're dealing with an international readership! I've never been there, I can't relate, I can only think the reason you are continuing with this series is because, that way, you can be eligible for some obscure long-form reporting award and the prestige that goes with it. I'm sure the stories are great. You just can't make me believe I'm the only person NOT reading any one of them.

3. Facebook bites - and I want out.

OK, it's got its charms. But I don't want 1 million friends. I can barely handle the ones I have. I was one of the first who infiltrated her way into the group when it was "college only" by getting a college e-mail address, thereby freaking out the students I was advising when I suddenly showed up. Now, the friends from grade school (more than 5 states and 20 moves ago) are the ones freaking ME out! But I can't leave. It's this futuristic nightmare where, if you don't keep a placemarker, you kind of won't exist anymore. I exist, damn it! And therein lies my Facebook fate and curse....

4. Obama's first 100 days are like the flip side of Bush everything.

Didn't Georgey Boy skip out his first summer for, like, 50 days, when he flew down to the ranch (which, as we all know, is SO familiar to his New England upbringing)? It was like the whole country took a siesta. And when he  finally arrived back on the scene in September, he looked rested and ready for a regatta. This administration is so different, words cannot describe it (so note that, media people - I'm not reading your 100-days stories, either - 'cause I'm paying attention and living this history, I know the score without you telling me what Obama's done).

 

 5. You can't write a book without pissing someone off.

And that, friends, is probably the main reason my books are not getting done. Well, that, and everyone and their mother is writing a book. Not everyone has something worthwhile to say, you know. And it's hard for me, in this age of cacaphony, to believe I do anymore. Yadda yadda yadda - if everyone could shut up for a few minutes, maybe I can figure out how to finish a book without pissing someone off!

6. No global warming? NO global WARMING? What the hell were they smoking the last 8 years???

It was 91 degrees here in PA this week. My tulips fried to a crispy golden brown and I buckled under the heat and turned on my A/C. Meanwhile, icebergs melt, Antarctic ice shelves the size of Manhattan are dropping into the sea, polar bears are still dying, and some days there's actually a smoggy film in rural Montgomery/Bucks County, PA (no kidding). I really hate hate hate that for 8 years we were told by crooked environmental cops, "Move along, nothing to see...." Liars!

7. Adam Lambert, I just don't CARE if you're gay (sigh!).

It is totally irrelevant whether you are, whether you aren't. Baby, you've GOT IT! I'm happily married to a guy who also doesn't care if you're gay or straight. That's right: He loves you too. Be whatever you are, man. Just promise me that you're my Elvis come true. I'm 41 and unashamedly head over heels in CRUSH with you - the clear winner of a show I have never, ever cared about but totally got sucked into - and all because of you, Adam, you talented hunka hunka burning, show-stopping, omni-sexual love.

8.  A day without Sarah Palin is like a day when iron splinters aren't being cast into my eyes by a retro-fitted Tommy gun specifically designed to blind me.

That pretty much says it all. (P.S. Do us a favor and give your non-son-out-of-law more access to the grandkid, will ya - and stop that media circus already? Ugh.)

9. YO! Genius behind the PC/Mac commercials: You ROCK!

"Eat me! I'm a delicious pizza!" The legal disclaimer skit. The virus suit. The time machine. I love Macintosh and I'll never want to own one. What's that say about the effectiveness, not to mention entertainment value, of that campaign? I laugh every time. You should create your OWN channel! Especially the PC guy, who I think I heard on NPR is a comedian/author. Seriously.

 10. I miss my friends and the fun at OS!

Look - I just stole a valuable, billable hour for lunch to share random thoughts here, on one of my fave old haunts... NOT because anyone may read it, NOT because it matters, NOT because I even have time to do it. But because I WANTED to. (Inner ego calls out to the wide world, "I'm here! I'm here! Echo! Echo! Buehler? Buehler?)

Missing y'all - and reading your works from time to time, even if it's like a drive-by reading, with no time to comment, no time to admire, no time to appreciate the many talents and ideas swirling around in this rich petrie dish of human experiences and observations.

And now, I'm off! Back to being busy - and living vicariously through you.