A FEW MONTHS BACK, WHEN ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, DAVE - aka "The Squealer" to those of us who knew him as the king of snarky columns at our college newspaper (before the word "snarky" became vogue, and the vogue became law) - well, as I say, when Squealer sent me the following e-mail after months of absolutely no contact (typical), I was quite sure he was yanking my chain.

Either that, or this was spam:

  Above: An original Squealer Communique... so rare
these days, but worth more than I thought.

As you might imagine, I had a number of questions upon receiving this communique, not the least of which was how on earth did Dave, who has never been one to conform to social norms much anyway, conceive a plan to check my maiden name against unclaimed property records going back - literally - 2o years? I've been married twice in my life, and hell - for the record - if I had been adopted by every man my mother married, my full name would be (get ready):

Lisa Anne Cellini Ramirez Kulkusky Levy Romero

But I digress.

Mine is not to wonder why - or even to conceive whether Squealer has become one of those dudes who sits in front of a computer in their skivvies until late at night, uncovering forgotten truths about society or his friends. Mine is to wonder what to do with the business at hand - namely determining whether this was factual or fraud.

So here's what I did:

CHECKED MY NAME: The writer formerly known as LISA CELLINI was, in fact, owed a sum of undisclosed money being held by the State of Michigan. (Just for the heck of it, now that I was on a roll, I checked all the various transmutations of my name AND my husband's name besides. Nada - but now I was beginning to enjoy the prospect of CLAIMED property in my future. Feels a lot like greed.)

FILLED OUT THE PAPERWORK: It's all supplied right through the site for your convenience. 

PRINTED IT OFF, got it notarized at the bank.

SENT IT IN, waited the appropriate 120 days.

And you know what? I actually did get money this week. I kid you not.

Knock me over with a feather, why don't you. During this crappy economy, when I feel like everyone's nickle and diming me to death and creditors are just waiting to pounce, Squealer - you da man!

I have fantasized for weeks about what amount we could be talking about here.... After all, would a cash-strapped state like Michigan really hold onto a piddly amount like $60? (I sensed for some reason it might be 60 bucks.... Upon seeing the Blue Cross, Blue Shield reference, I distinctly recalled how one very small unpaid medical bill caused me quite a bit of back-and-forth grief, and I could never figure out why the doctor's office didn't get the payment.)

$60 for 20 years? Really?

Oh, yes.... Michigan, as it turns out, could not claim my cash. It sat there until Squealer uncovered it.

Here's the princely sum I want to thank Michigan's Treasurer Robert J. Kleine for keeping safe for me:

It's kind of small. So if you can't read it, let me enlighten you:

$74.25 - held, just for me, for 20 years.

I cashed the check yesterday with a sense of awe. FREE MONEY. Finally, my ship had come in. Forget that it was a dinghy.

And now I am what you would call a TRUE BELIEVER - and I'm sharing the love with you.

If you, like me, thought these unclaimed property stories that the TV news bobbleheads trot out every sweeps month are a scam, perhaps, just perhaps, you should reconsider.

Not everyone has a Squealer in their corner. (Squealer, by the way, formerly worked in TV - a different station than me, but he knows the score. He has many interesting share-worthy stories to explore, including how he came to be the "Keeper of the Trowel" from the Night of the Living Dead classic horror flick. Yes, he's that kind of guy.  A love of comic books, Chiller conventions, medical oddities, carnivals, and other strangeness that makes him, well, Dave.)

But because of my Squealer, who knows? You could actually check this out and find you're a few dollars richer.