Lissa Stewart

Lissa Stewart
Location
New York, New York, United States
Birthday
July 26
Bio
I'm a student at Columbia University, studying Chemistry and Physics. I'm a lifelong Girl Scout, I'm in the Columbia University Marching Band, I'm a babysitter and personal assistant, and in my spare time I make art and jewelry. That's my life in 38 words. (Not counting that last sentence or this one, thank you Sam.)

MY RECENT POSTS

JANUARY 6, 2009 5:57PM

Bedridden Movie Reviews

Rate: 4 Flag

Well, it's more like sofa-ridden. I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday, and I'm recovering, aka reallyreallyreally bored. After trolling around for a little while on Open Salon (particularly on Tequila and Donut's Blog, which is part of the inspiration for this), I have decided to write one sentence movie reviews/summaries.

 *SPOILER ALERT* I am going to try not to give too much away,  but if you haven't seen the movie, it would probably be best to skip that review.

 Also, I apologize for the moments when I stop making sense. I am on some heavy duty painkillers and can not be held responsible for my spelling and grammar mistakes.

 Without further ado!

 FATAL ATTRACTION: A guy cheats on his gorgeous brunette wife with a semi-attractive ("hot from far away") blonde, which proceeds to screw up his life and make his little girl (who I thought was a boy for >1/2 the movie) very upset-- but WHY? Also, lots of gratuitous sex - I didn't get this movie. (Okay, two sentences but you get my point.)

 DOCTOR ZHIVAGO: A guy cheats on his gorgeous brunette wife with a semi-attractive blonde, which proceeds to screw up his life and make his little boy (more gender confusion, thought this one was a girl) very upset. Waaaaaaaaaaaait...

 MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING:Auuugh... Okay, okay, I will admit that I didn't finish this movie. I HATED it. I couldn't even finish half of it. I have this horrible aversion to movies in which people embarass themselves. I got to the part where she starts lying, and I was done.

 Well, those are the movies I've watched in the past 24 hours (not counting "Muppets in Space", which I don't feel like gracing you all with a review of). I will be watching more, and I'm taking suggestions. Anyone?

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Ooooh, I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE Sadistic Humiliation/Shame Comedy too. Would that I could scramble the brains of every screenwriter who goes there for cheap, ugly, bully-echoing laughs. Here are a couple I've seen lately.

THE HUNGER: David Bowie is a gorgeous vampire for all of about 15 minutes and then disappears from the film, leaving Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon to do their thing, and at the end there's lots of screaming and turning-to-dust but honestly I didn't quite understand why.

BICKFORD SCHMECKLER'S COOL IDEAS: The kid from Almost Famous is grown up and in this, playing a guy who keeps a journal of Deep Existential Thoughts that gets stolen and passed around from person to person in increasingly ridiculous scenarios, and it's actually quite surprisingly funny and touching (at least to me, who is the kind of person who still misses long, meandering sleepless nights in the blue haze of a fuzzy-navel-scented college dorm room, hanging out with people you thought you'd be close to forever [but whose names you can't even remember now]).
So I got up the guts to finish "My Best Friend's Wedding". I still didn't like it. Bah.
HA, if you have time, you might like this: 100 Movie Spoilers
I watched "Home for the Holidays" a couple of days ago - it was horrible, but I had left the remote across the room, I was trapped.
Once when Sam was at home from school, ill, which was rare, I might add, I went and got him a stack of movies to keep his mind off his misery. One of the movies was Soylent Green. I felt it was an area of his education that had not been well covered.

Does that qualify as good cultural parenting or child abuse?
Madame Beloved, I do believe it's good cultural parenting. Especially given how much he likes to quote the one memorable scene in that movie =P

And Verbal Remedy - I have never seen either of those, but your descriptions are great!

Thanks for stopping by, T&D- I like the video! Thanks for the suggestion.