A Place Down Under

.... Kate's World

Little Kate

Little Kate
Location
Lismore, New South Wales, Australia
Birthday
September 13
Bio
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. ~ Author Unknown

MY RECENT POSTS

Little Kate's Links

Travel
Open Calls
Iron Poet Challenges
Aussie Stories
Poetry
Kate's Story
AUGUST 29, 2011 11:39PM

TO A MAN (A Rodent Poem -Iron Poet Challenge from J D Smith)

Rate: 10 Flag

 

Tall, frightful, mountainous man
the fear you strike within is easy to explain
sheer size causes my heart to pound
so fast and loud that it is all I can do to contain
it from leaping outside my tiny frame

With whisker twitching and hide flinching
I crept from the safety of my hole, inching
one small step by paltry step
seeking meagre crumbs; mere scraps of food
to feed my hungry brood

And there I chanced upon you
(well, it was your dark and menacing shoe
that first caught my beady little eye)
then, fleetingly, thoughts I was about to die
stopped me in my tracks, and there was I,
wondering ~ should I fight or fly?

Yes, there I stood, frozen in time
and it seemed that you were too
as we, the two of us, both you and I,
for one moment (or was it two?)
took measure and looked each other in the eye

But I am not a silly fool
and though I am just an insignificant being
I have learned a golden rule ~
at the very instant a man moves his feet
it is time I must be fleeing!

 

© Kate Little 2011
All Rights Reserved

 

 


 I wrote the above to answer a poetry challenge to me from J D Smith.  I drew some inspiration from the following.

 

TO A MOUSE ~ Robert Burns (1785) 

 From Wikipedia: 

"To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough" is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1785. According to legend, Burns wrote the poem after finding a nest full of mice during the winter.

Standard English translation

Small, crafty, cowering, timorous little beast,
O, what a panic is in your little breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With argumentative chatter!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
And fellow mortal!

I doubt not, sometimes, but you may steal;
What then? Poor little beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.

Your small house, too, in ruin!
Its feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of coarse grass green!
And bleak December's winds coming,
Both bitter and keen!

You saw the fields laid bare and wasted,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel plough passed
Out through your cell.

That small bit heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a weary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter's sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.

But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blest, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

 

Burns' original

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

 

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Of mice and men……


For J D Smith – A Rodent Poem
(Iron Poet Challenge No 8)
The rules of engagement -
* The word “whisker”
* Part of the poem in parenthesis
* No contractions may be used
Oh, and yes, it MUST be written from the rodent's point of view!!!
You are simply amazing!!!!
This is AMAZINGLY GOOD!!!
JD, you seem to like it. I take it that I have passed?

: )
Indeed you have...and now...I must seek to match you.....a tough challenge for me now....but I will try.
I'll look forward to it, friend.

: )
and they're backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
round one??:)
Love to read your words Kate.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Hey there, Linda. It's always good to see you.

And as JD would say ... YEPPERS! We're back for another round!

: )
I enjoy reading the old Burns Original.
I shall reread slow and aim to assimilate.
I use to love reading the old vernaculars.

You make me want to walk and read John Donne.
He was an Angican who was in trouble most his life.
He used Satire and Metaphysical speech. He's clergy.
Clerics aren't all Elmer Gantry ill-ilk who went loco.
It may be a day to walk along a river with a poem.
Read over and over. There is work to do too.
Busy beavers may be down at the creek.
Southern Baptist slug Northern Monks,
Northern Methodist, and kiss beavers?
I hope.
If we get a bruised lip use red lipstick.
Maybe we can read poem out loud as
we Hop Up & Down on a`Pogo Stick.
If we snag a carp we eat stinky sushi.
huh?
I best take a walk and see beauty.
Wonderful! Lil, I love yours it's adorable and in good keeping with Burn's which I have always loved. The original gives the full humorous effect. Thanks for this today..mice will be coming in soon here for cold weather.
Great idea from JD and a great poem from you. Outstanding work!
I love this! Oh, mountainous man, strikes fear and then, as I read on, I realized that smallest child could fit the bill. Great poem! Oh, sweet mouse, you mean no harm.
Rated
Art James: Sorry I'm so late to come back and respond but I do hope you took that walk and saw the beauty you sought. I have a feeling there was much to be seen. And Burns' original? A joy to discover and read and re-read. I don't think I would ever have found it except for JD's challenge.
Rita, thank you! I think I'm looking at a mouse in a whole new light after writing this one. Thank you for the huge compliment. I had fun writing this one.
scanner, thank you! That JD sure can come up with some doozies!

Cali, I'm smiling big because you seem to have got right into the heart of this poem! THANK YOU!
Dear Kate,
I didn't see JD's challenge yet. But I ♥love♥ your poem! I like Robbie Burns's too, yet yours is much better and I'm not saying that just because. In fact, every poem you post sounds better than the one before . . . if that can be possible. You have a wonderful talent!
♥R
Dear Fusun,

I didn't know of Robert Burn's poem until JD challenged me and a little research led me to it. It was great inspiration to fulfil the challenge!

Thank you for your kind words. With humility, I think my poetry has improved and hopefully will continue to improve. JD got me started with it and continued encouragement and inspiration from him and friends, like you, keeps me going and wanting to do better. So THANK YOU dear friend. I appreciate your support and kind words very, very much.
Sweet poem, Kate. And no being is "insignificant". We are all of value. Rated with hugs. -Erica
Exactly! Erica, thank you so much for coming by to read. Much appreciated.
hey what is this!!? better not be your motto for all men,
like the sweety pies, some of whom are big,
"I have learned a golden rule ~
at the very instant a man moves his feet
it is time I must be fleeing!"
LOL, James! No, 'tis not my motto.

Thank you for coming by to read!