I have been a professional costume designer for eight years.

When I started out, one of the first things I noticed was that many other costume designers -ususally older ones- seemed to have a chip on their shoulders.  Not all of them, but a significant percentage.  To the degree that I have been known to remark: "Costume designers are kind of like spiders; if you keep them together for too long, they'll kill each other."

I am by no means the only person to notice this trend.  Numerous actors have expressed surprise, when meeting me in my professional capacity, that I am a nice person.  I have one actor friend who still says I am the only nice costume designer he's ever met. This is, in fact, one of several reasons I have begun to question whether this career is the one I want in the long term.

At first, I thought the general bitchyness was due to costume designers being overly-competitive.  I noticed each costume designer that I interned with or worked under in my early days seemed to resent me to a certain extent.  Not open loathing, or anything, just ...bitter and resentful, with occasional outbursts of hostility.  One friend in the business suggested it was their being competitive or feeling that I was a threat somehow.  That may have had something to do with it, but I doubt it.

I believe costume designers become bitter and/or bitchy and spiky over time as a result of having to deal with divas.  

 I had, until today, been blessed to only ever have to work with one actor who I would consider to be a diva. Well, two, but they were in the course of the same show, and one of them FAR outstripped the other on the diva-meter, to the point of eclipsing her completely.

I've met actors with attitude, and definite divas-in-the-making, but only the one actual diva.

Until today.  And now I understand all the bitchyness among costume designers.  It is the diva factor. I betcha.

Because the thing about divas is, they are often above your pay grade, when you are the costume designer.  And therefore, if you make waves, you will be the one to be punished, or possibly fired, no matter who started it, and now matter who was right or wrong.  That's just how it goes.  Usually.  The other thing is, they are the one who must appear on the stage or in front of the camera.  They have to look good, and if you have a fight with them, even if it is just a heated discussion, you are hampering their ability to look good, and you are the one who will be blamed.

To make matters worse, they are also usually in bed with someone; if not literally, then figuratively.  And they are not often acquainted with the phrase "professional courtesy".  No. They tend to fight below the belt.

"Oops! Remember that dress you made? I accidentally dropped it into an incinerator. So, you'll need to make me another one, stat! So sorry!"

In case you are wondering whether an actor is a diva, here are some clues:

~he/she addresses you as "costume girl" or "honey" (lots of people call each other "honey" and such, in the biz, but when they're younger than you and calling you "honey", it's because they are divas and are trying to let you know that you are way beneath them on the ladder.)

~he/she uses your $100, ten-inch, sharp-ass, dressmaking shears to open a Flavor-Ice, and continues to do so even after you have made it clear that this is a no-no.

~he/she decides to obtain a costume on his/her own, without asking your opinion (let alone permission).

~he/she repeatedly leaves costumes in a heap on the floor when finished with them.

~he/she eats, drinks and smokes in the costume, despite having been told not to.

~he/she takes the costume home to wear to a party despite having been told not to.

~he/she goes out of the way to create drama so that they can make up a story about you, or whoever they don't like.

~he/she is constantly coming up with reasons why the rules that apply to others should not apply to him/her.

 The one I met today repeatedly called me "costume girl", which really gets on my nerves.  To begin with, I've been busting my ass for months to get this show ready on time, which has been no small feat, given that the director keeps changing her mind about stuff. Furthermore, I am not just a wardrobe person on this show.  I am THE wardrobe person. I designed and constructed many of the costumes from scratch, even creating my own patterns.  I have used my considerable knowledge and skills to make each costume flattering to the person wearing it and in such a way that it accommodates all the choreography.

Apparently, I look too young to be referred to as a costume designer. This has been a problem for me for some time.  People just look at me and think I'm someone's girlfriend or kid sister who's volunteered to help out.  Fine. But there's no excuse after I've formally introduced myself.

With male actors, for some reason, when they make the mistake of addressing me as "costume girl",( which they usually do, but they do it half-jokingly) a stern look suffices to correct the error. And after that we have a laugh, and they are polite and respectful, and I am polite and kindly, and I assure them that even though I can do a VERY stern look, I'm a nice person who is here to help them look their best, and everything is peachy.

But this diva.  She just kept doing it. And then she started complaining that I had made a comment about her cellulite, which is completely not true.

I've begun to learn the dirty little tricks that other costume designers use to get back at divas.

One costume designer would make that person's costume just a tiny bit too tight.  And then never fix it, no matter how much that person complained. If they complained too much, she would suggest that they must have gained weight. (As a rule, we NEVER make comments about an actor's weight. EVER.  If they say they are a size 6, and are actually more like a 12, we will still go and sew little size 6 labels into all their clothes, just to keep them happy.)

Another designer, who was much older and had more clout, would openly threaten to abandon the show and take all the costumes with him.  I am not yet established enough to do that, but it certainly would be effective.

However, I don't really want to do any of those things.  Those things contribute to the negative cycle of emotions.  I don't want to be petty or play dirty; I just want to be treated like a professional and to treat others like professionals.  And if that's not going to happen, I don't think I'll be remaining in the costume business long-term. 

Because I don't want to become one of those bitchy old costume designers.