Some people are terrified of clowns.  Some are scared of spiders.  Heck, I even know a guy who has a fear of paraplegics.  He will cringe and run away if he sees one.

I am not afraid of these things. I am afraid of handsome men.

(I devoutly hope none of my exes is reading this. This is not to say that I think everyone I've dated is ugly.  They were all good-looking, just not in the way that makes a girl want them for their looks alone, you know?)

Laugh if you want to. It's funny.  What's even more funny is that I didn't even know I had this fear until a few weeks ago, when I briefly dated a particularly handsome guy and found it to be a terrifying experience.  

I know that it was because of his exceptional good looks, too.  In fact, I think I know how I got this fear; it was from dating another incredibly hot guy about seven years ago who was a chronic liar and cheater.  Or maybe that just made it worse? Maybe I had the fear to begin with, and he just aggravated it.

I know how ridiculous this is.  I know that just because a guy is hot that doesn't make him a cheater or a liar.  For all I know, it may not even be a contributing factor.  In fact, I've been furious with guys who get crazy paranoid about hot women for just the same reason.

I had a really exceptionally gorgeous friend once whose first boyfriend, to whom she lost her virginity, suddenly broke up with her when some jerk-pants friend of his told him his girl HAD to have been lying about being a virgin, because why would a girl that hot lose her virginity to some average guy like him?

The difference between him and me is that I would never be dumb enough or mean enough to act like it was legitimate for me to mistrust someone based on their appearance.  He basically told my friend to her face that she was too hot to be honest, and that's not an okay accusation to make, even if you do believe it on some level.

And yet, none of this logic seems to have any impact on my fear.  It is still there.  And it is a shame, because I'm fairly sure I scared off the most recent guy by being so scared myself that I just retreated into my little shell and stayed there.  I may be wrong. There may have been other factors, I don't know, but I suspect if that wasn't the only factor it was probably the biggest one. He broke up with me, so I'm not sure.  And I really liked him.  

I'm not sure what to do about it.  I think that  if I want to have another chance to confront and overcome this fear it will have to be with someone else. At least now I know what to look for. 

Anybody know any male underwear models? ;)