Ever since returning to college last summer, I have found myself in the rather lonely and thankless position of being The Girl Who Talks In Class.  I chose this, and I'm not sorry, even if no one else ever wants to initiate a class discussion or dare to ask a question, or anything.  I don't mind being that person, as I've been that way all my life. It's part of who I am.  I don't even mind of other people in the class resent me for this. That's their problem.

  I wish other people would contribute to the conversation more often. Sometimes they do, but very rarely and it tends to be the same people.  

Not wishing to speak up in class is understandable.  I'm sure many people are just shy or afraid of saying something out loud that is incorrect or that people disagree with. 

What I don't completely understand is why, when we break up into little groups to do our lab work in my one science class, I am the only girl -always!- who contributes to what we are doing.

Without fail, in every lab group I find myself in,  the other girls will either state that they don't understand the assignment or imply that they don't by asking one of the guys (or me, since I do now have a reputation) a question like, "So, we measure from here to here? On the skull?".

I refuse to believe that I am the only double-x chromosome in that class who understands the assignment without needing to confirm with some dude before proceeding.  I'm smart, but come on! The assignments are really straightforward! Especially considering this is a college class!

So what is it? Is it just a female habit of pretending to defer to male intelligence so as not to seem too masculine or threatening?

And if so, is this really necessary? Are men really so easily threatened?

I'm sure there's much more to this issue.

I've lately become more conscious of what's unspoken but expected in male/female roles in relationships.  And I don't just mean romantic relationships in general, I mean what's really meant by being the man in a relationship versus being the woman in terms of actual roles, not just biological gender.

For instance, although I'm sure I seem horribly outspoken and domineering to my mild-mannered, uncertain lab partners, I consider myself to be a very old fashioned and feminine woman in most ways.  I prefer to date men who I think are a bit smarter than I am, and who are a bit better established in their lives than I am (which isn't saying a lot now that I'm a student again).

That said, maybe other women who also prefer men who are smarter than they are, have succumbed to the notion that all men are smarter than women, or must be smarter than them at least.  Maybe even if they do understand the assignment, these girls are assuming that the boys got something from it that they didn't. 

Maybe it's the way we're sort of socialized to act.  The boys have no problem speaking their minds in this class, even when they turn out to be wrong. Mostly.

Admittedly, it doesn't tend to go over too well if I correct them. I have noticed they get bit spiky about that. So perhaps that's a part of it.

Even our professor has commented on this. He'll come around to our groups and say, "Ladies, don't let the guys do all the work!"

This is school, we're here to learn, and to do that we should all be participating. I hope for their own sakes none of these gals is planning to major in science of any sort.  What kind of scientists will they be if they just defer to everything their male colleagues say?