"I lived a happy life up until that night.  Happy for a gerbil, at least.  I had a really cool habitrail, an exercise machine, plenty of food and water, and humans who would take me out of my cage and play with me."

"Well, there was that one time when they put me in the clear plastic ball and used me to play soccer until the plastic broke and I escaped.  For three days I hid in the closet until Rick and Todd found me."

"My cage was kept in Rick and Todd's bedroom.  Some nights they kept me up with their noisey exercises.  Rick and Todd liked to drink and sniff powder up their nose.  Then they would hop in bed and do more exercise.

"One time after Rick and Todd sniffed a lot of powder, they took me out of my cage."

"Are we finally going to do this shit or not?"

"Why does it have to be me who gets the gerbil up my ass?"

"Because you are the one who ALWAYS gets it up the ass, Todd.  Besides, you said you were getting bored with our sexlife and wanted to try something new."

"New doesn't mean putting a live gerbil up my butt.  What if he gets stuck up there?"

"Todd.  I am a nurse.  I stick my hand up people's asses all the time.  It's why I chose this profession"

"I thought you became a nurse to help people."

"Yes - to help people and stick my fist up their ass.  Now go get some peanut butter and the new Habitrail box.  I'll get the KY and your supersized buttplug."

  "I smell something yummy.  Peanut butter!  I love when my humans give me special treats.  What's this, a new Habitrail?  A Habitrail with peanut butter in it!  I've hit the Gerbil jackpot.  This peanut butter is delicious even with the hairs in it."

"Oh god.  He's tickling me.  Rick you know I hate being tickled.  This was a bad idea.  Take him out."

"Not yet.  Give it a chance.  You might start to like it."

"Oh.  What are these little treats?  I must taste one of them."

"Fuck. FUCK.  He's biting me!  Get it out Rick."

"Biting you?  Some of the peanut butter must have spread on to your hemorrhoids.  I told you to have that operation.  You didn't listen."

"This Habitrail is really different.  Why am I bouncing around so much?  What is Todd yelling about?  I like it in here.  I hope they don't put me back in my cage."

"Okay Todd.  I'm going to stick my hand up your ass and pull out the gerbil.

"Wait a second Rick.  He stopped biting.  This is starting to feel fucking amazing!  Hey Rick.  I might not need you anymore.  The gerbil doesn't cum in thirty seconds plus he's bigger than you."

"Don't push your luck Todd.  You can't get the gerbil out without me remember."

"Who said I want to take him out.  I can always crap him out if I have to."

"I am the luckiest gerbil in the world.  I love my new Habitrail."