MUST LOVE PICKLES
If I was to place a personal ad, the phrase, "must love pickles" would have to be in there. If you don't like pickles, DO NOT bother responding. You cannot be my soulmate if you dislike pickles.
I've loved pickles since I was a kid. My sister and I had some of our most brutal battles over who got more pickles.
My favorite pickles remain the whole sour pickles that you can pick out yourself from a barrel. For my seventh birthday party, I asked my mom if we could play "bobbing for pickles" instead of "bobbing for apples." My mom did not comply with this simple request, and forty years later I still must resist the urge to pick my mom up and submerge her headfirst into a pickle barrel.
Pickles were invented in Mesopotamia, around 2030 B.C. My time share in Mesopotamia became worthless after the U.S. invaded Iraq. This is the main reason why I opposed the war.
I have tried organizing some local "pickle tasting" gatherings, without much success. I swear that I am bringing pickles to the next "wine tasting" that I am invited to. What type of wine goes with pickles? The "wine tasters" and I are going to find out, whether they want to or not.
For what reasons should you eat pickles besides the fact that I am holding a gun to your head? Well, pickles contain no fat, they are low in calories, and they have "probiotic" benefits. Since I don't live in California, I have no fucking idea what "probiotic" means so you may have to look that shit up.
The moral of this story is that we can make the world a better place - one pickle at a time.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Old Guy Learning Guitar
Chris Brown (not the felon)
Roger Fallihee
Hildy Johnson
Hawley Roddick
old new lefty
Salon.com
Comments
Plump it!
There's a big rage here in Las Vegas now too, deep-fried pickles. Damned good things. Yep, had to Google probiotic. Apparently pickles are quite healthy for you.
Natalie Not Pedantic - You broke my heart as well.
the more pickle power!
Cartouche - A limp pickle is of no use to me or others.
Don Rich - Sour Rules!
Rated!
LadyMiko - Keep sharing those pickles - a secret to a happy marriage.
Just Pamela - "One Pickle At A Time" I might have to get that printed up on a T-Shirt.
Mr. Mustard - Trader Joe's probably sells sour pickle wine.
S
Rated
Stacey Youdin - You might want to try making your own pickles. There are some good recipes available online.
Boomer Bob - I promise to eat a deep-fried pickle when I locate one
spotted_mind - if he hated pickles, you are better off without him.
Lea Lane - When the sour pickles are gone, I settle for half sours.
Dr.Spudman44 - Fill in the blank. A pickle a day keeps the _____
away.
Sarah Pennebaker - Pickles are a great snack. I wish they sold them at sports stadiums and movie theaters.
micalpeace - some things in life are worth fighting for. For me, pickles are one of them.
I'll tell you how it goes.
d
Good piece. Makes me salivate. We're out of dills. Boo hoo.
There is nothing in this world worse than taking a big bite of a pickle only to realize you've been tricked...it's a sweet pickle. Damn it!!
Denese - "Mickles Pickles" - what a great name.
john blumenthal - the pickle jars are hard to open to keep people like me from eating them in the grocery stores.
gracielou - For being the first person to mention "Peter Piper", you win a one year subcription to Pickle Home & Gardens.
noahvose - tricking a "sour pickle" person with a sweet pickle is cruel and unusual punishment.
almost soft but still with much body, juicy juicy juicy, dripping juice, garlicly kosher sours are what pickles are about.
but I still love you LW.
Hamburger without pickle=abombination of desolation
nofrillsmonkey - I love garlic.
scoubidou - I will not associate with anyone who harbors any hostility toward pickles or pickle juice.