In a desperate effort not to upstage or overshadow each other, the families of Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy have tentatively agreed to combine forces for a gala double funeral.
"We refuse to allow this bloated, has-been, politician to take the limelight away from one of the great media events of the 23rd century - the funeral for my son, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson," bellowed Joe Jackson, Michael's father.
Al Sharpton, a remora to the Jackson family had this to say, "The Pay-Per-View for Michael's funeral is going to be huge - Showtime and HBO are involved in a bidding war, and Don King is in charge of promotion. Senator Kennedy's death could not have come at a worse time. Combining the funerals is the best way to ensure maximum viewer exposure.
Kennedy family spokesperson, Preston Peabody, has tried to keep all details of the double funeral a secret. Rumors have been swirling that the Kennedys have expressed strong objections to the choice of singer, Bobby Brown, to deliver the eulogy for Senator Kennedy.
Tito Jackson, Michael's brother and original member of The Jackson 5, is concerned that some other major historical figure dies before Michael is finally laid to rest.
"What if that old fool, President Jimmy Carter, decides to kick the bucket tomorrow. Then we have to upgrade to a triple funeral. I'll be damned if I'm going to let some cracker peanut farmer from Georgia upstage my brother."
Don King is optimistic that the unique double funeral will go down in history as the highest subscribed Pay-Per-View ever.
"Only in America can a famous black man and a wealthy white man be buried right on top of each other. Who is going to be on top? You will have to tune in to find out. Call your cable operator today. For only $99.99 you can be a part of the Jackson/Kennedy Funeral Extravaganza.
"Only in America!.."
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Comments
"Al Sharpton, a remora to the Jackson family..." never a truer word was spoken.
Closureisamyth - I take that as a compliment and I have the medical records to prove it.
Revolting
think of something else
to write about
you are evil littlewilly!
Many people try for this kind of humor, but veer off into MEAN.
So big props to you for the joyful irreverence.
I get more chuckles every time I read it!
nofrillsmonkey - I was living in a bottle until I got evicted by Barbara Eden.
Rated.
I sometimes cross "the line" with my humor, but if I start censoring myself to appease others, then I can't create my unique brand of comedy.