Tim was just a wee lad when his father, Hawthorne Tangleweed, was killed in a duel with the antiques dealer and Lambertville gang leader, Sebastian Fountainbleu.  A dispute over the value of a rare Hummel figurine is what led to the deadly duel.  Hawthorne, the top man from the notorious New Hope Flan Squishers, wanted his Hummel back from Sebastian.  How could Hawthorne have known that a Hummel depicting a simple farmer jerking off a stallion was a "one of a kind."  Armed only with a 17th century wooden rollling pin, Hawthorne was no match for Sebastian's 19th century iron muffin pan.

Tim was hidden in a exclusive Bucks County Bed & Breakfast owned by the ancestors of Sally Jesse Raphael.   At the age of nineteen, Tim Tangleweed was old enough to take over his father's old gang, the New Hope Flan Squishers, and plan his revenge.  First, Tim had to convince all of New Hope's other gangs to join him before he dared cross the bridge into Lambertville.

There was the Transfat Pastry Chefs, the Medieval Cross Dressers, the Civil War Nut Zippers, the Art Decoes, and the Organic Coffee Thugs.  A hatred for all things "Lambertville" plus a score of full beer barrels was enough to convince these mortal enemies to put aside their pending law suits long enough to teach the Lambertville Lincoln Logs a lesson they would not soon forget.

The shad were running in the Delaware River the day that Tim chose to launch his attack.  Tim knew that the Lincoln Logs would be busy running their annual yuppie Shad Festival.

Fishermen dropped their poles and their draws when they saw the New Hope gangs heading over the bridge armed with antique sickles and scythes.  Tim and his pretentious cohorts slashed and burned their way through Lambertville.

Scanning the crowd for his father's killer, Tim spotted a man in a giant shad costume making balloon animals for the children.

"Sebastion, you dastardly dog-shad.  You must answer for my father and the jerking-off Hummel figurine."

Sebastian looked around desperately and quickly fashioned a sturdy balloon sword.  The fight was brief yet intense, as Tim Tangelweed avenged his father and subdued the giant shad with his trusty yet fickle, antique sickle. 

The deed was done.  There would be no joy or shad tacoes in Lambertville tonight.