"Excuse me sir, but you can't pitch that tent here.  This is private property."

"Do you know who I am? {does not wait for answer}  I am Moammar al - Kadafi, supreme ruler of the sovereign republic of Libya."

"Listen Al.  Even if I was okay with you and your entourage pitching a giant tent in my backyard, the Home Owner's Association would come and take it down.  You wouldn't want to get the Home Owner's Association up my ass, now would you, Al?"

"My name is not Al, you incorrigible infidel.  Does this Home Owner's Association have the military backing of Israel?"

"Well, I think a few of the board members are jewish."

"I knew it!  The Israelis control EVERYTHING in America.  Did you know that Israel was involved in the JFK assasination or that Jack Ruby was an Israeli?"

"Really?  I thought that Jack Ruby was born in Brooklyn."

"I have heard of this "Brooklyn."  Is it part of the occupied territories?"

"Occupied?  Well, the Russians have taken over Brighton Beach."

"The Russians are a proud untrustworthy people whom I respect greatly.  Are you jewish?  I will pay you a large sum of money to allow this tent in your backyard, along with six camels and my third-string harem girls."

"I don't want your money or your camels, Al, but the harem girls sound tempting."

"This cannot be happening.  A jew turning down money.  You must NOT be jewish.  Show me your penis!"

"This is starting to get a little weird.  I might show my penis to your harem girls, but I'm not dropping my drawers for you.  You may have diplomatic immunity, but we have private security here, and they will remove you and your camels from my property.  The harem girls can stick around awhile."

"I will not forget your insolence, Israelite.  Pack up the tent."

"Thanks Al.  You're a real doll."