There is a house.

A crapping house,

Where everyone is crapping 

"Jonathan!  Be a dear and go check on grandma" said Jonathan's mom.

Jonathan crept up the stairs hoping to sneak up and scare Grandma into having another heart attack.  This was one of Jonathan's favorite games, besides playing Texas Hold'em Poker with his beloved grandmother.

Loud snoring was coming from Grandma's room.

"This is going to be too easy," Jonathan thought to himself as he crawled into Grandma's bedroom.

On the floor next to Grandma's bed was an empty bottle of whiskey.

A terrible smell filled the room.

Grandma had gotten stinking drunk and crapped on herself again.

It would be several hours before Grandma woke up and Jonathan had an idea for a new game.

Jonathan climbed up on Grandma's bed, dropped his trousers, and crapped on Grandma.

Then Johnathan got the dog, lifted the small dog onto the bed, and the dog crapped right on top of Jonathan's crap, on top of Grandma.

Jonathan fetched the cat, and the cat took a crap on top of the dog's crap, on top of Jonathan's crap, on top of the still slumbering grandmother.

The pet hamster was next.  The fluffy hamster took a crap on top of the cat's crap, on top of the dog's crap, on top of Jonathan's crap, on top of grandma.

Jonathan did not realize that his mother had been watching.  Jonathan expected a big punishment.

Instead of yelling at Jonathan, his mom took off her dress (she wasn't wearing any panties) and crapped on top of the hamster's crap, on top of the cats' crap, on top of the dog's crap, on top of Jonathan's crap, on top of dear old grandma. 

Suddenly grandma began to stir.  The weight and smell of all the crap was overwhelming, even to Jonathan's grandmother, who had polished off a half bottle of Jack Daniels.

Grandma's loud screaming soon filled the bedroom.  There would be no more crapping today in Jonathan's house.

This is a very loose adaptation of the classic children's story, "The Napping House."  Copyright 1984 by Audrey Wood