My friend tells me that "He's dying for a cup of coffee." I offer to drive him to Starbucks. On the way there while travelling at seventy miles an hour, I push him out of the car. Assisted Suicide? Damn straight! My assistance was critical to the fulfillment of my friend's last wish.
My friend and I were watching the 2004 World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the St. Louis Cardinals. The Red Sox had not won a World Series since 1916. 88 Bucky Fucking Dent years! After the last out and the Red Sox begin to celebrate, my friend turns to me and says, "This is the happiest day of my life. I could die right now and I wouldn't care." I then lovingly smashed a beer bottle over his head, and smothered him with my NY Yankees pillow.
Assisted suicide? No doubt, especially if you are a Yankees fan.
The above two examples illustrate appropriate, respectful ways to facilitate an Assisted Suicide. If you or someone you love, or hate, is thinking about an Assisted Suicide, please contact me for a free consultation.
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rosalind warren
SpokeoPR
meital james
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Mike Calahan
Salon.com
Comments
R
Nanatehay - Go ahead and start assisting those spammers.
ame i - Sorry if I made you screech.
OESheepdog - I've been a Yankees fan since the dark days of Horace Clarke, Mike Kekich, Ron Bloomberg and Joe Pepitone.
O'Really - I really don't think that you can be helped.
Dr. Ziggy Mutter-Job - Do you still prescribe helium for all your patients? When did you get your medical license back?
Sean Manatee - I think I may have a job for you.
Placebostudman - I think that this may be your first visit to my blog or the first time that you left a comment. If you had read any of my previous posts then you would know that I am glib about many controversial subjects. That's just how I write so I suggest that you don't read my blog.
Chuck A. Stetson - I can fit your Mom in today for a late afternoon appointment.
Owl_Says_Who - Yes. This could be part of the new economic stimulus package.
scanner - Since you are a "friend" I will not charge you this first time.
Rod Emmons - You recognize genius when you see it. That's what I like about you.
old new lefty - Dr. Kevorkian and I are misunderstood.
Jeff Howe - It's too late to stop.
When my time comes, I would prefer strawberries and cream. Do you deliver?