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littlewillie

littlewillie
Location
Sodom/Gomorrah,
Birthday
December 31
Title
El Jefe
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Mexican Rug Cartel
Bio
Hobbies: Valet Parking, Disorderly Conduct, Amateur Acupuncture. Occupation: Boss of the Mexican Rug Cartel. Credit cards not accepted. Favorite Band: The Dry Humpers. Favorite Food: Hard Boiled Water. If you would like to contact me outside of Open Salon, my email address is sumorabbi@aol.com All original material written by Jeff Gross Copyright 2009, 2010, 2011, 2014

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Salon.com
SEPTEMBER 14, 2010 1:47PM

Britain Braces For Killer Shrimp Invasion

Rate: 12 Flag

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, an invasive species of killer shrimp, "Dikerogammarus Villoscus" (which happens to be the same name as my belly dance instructor), has been found in a Cambridgeshire reservoir.  These are not your typical invertebrates, like Senator Harry Reid, for example.  These are big shrimp, growing up to 30 millimeters (a tad longer than my tallywhacker), with a bad attitude.

Dikerogammurus Villoscus dominate their habitat, causing the extinction of native species.  Kind of like what homo sapiens do when they move to a new habitat.  The British government is concerned that this beasty shrimp will kill all the British shrimp and possibly eat a Koran.

The Royal Navy and The Spice Girls have been put on full alert.  All types of security measures are being implemented.  Huge quantities of cocktail sauce have been stockpiled and made available at a reduced price to the general public.  Half off coupons to Red Lobster and Arthur Treachers have been widely distributed.

Killer Shrimp hysteria has resulted in several attacks against people that look like shrimp.   The prime minister has strongly condemned hate crimes directed at gypsy crustaceans.

A press release by Prime Minister David Cameron reads as follows:

"I am confident that the British people will rise to the occasion to defeat this foreign invader, even if it means eating nothing but Killer Shrimp for the duration of the war." 

 

News Source:   www.csmonitor.com/.../Killer-shrimp-assault-British-threaten-ecosystem

 

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Comments

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They could change "Hail Brittania" to "The Shrimp Boats are Acommin" Don't forget the tarter sauce...........r
yes are they not the killer shrimp i read about yesterday hahahah
New B movie coming.
Rated with hugs
Shimp and chips . . . I guess it'd be okay, if you like seafood.
Linda S. - A movie about Killer Shrimp is inevitable.

Rosycheeks - You use tartar sauce when you eat shrimp? I eat shrimp with a spritz of lemon or cocktail sauce.
Owl_Says_Who - The Brits have no choice. It's eat or be eaten.

Anna Voy - Thank you!
Hehehe! I just read about a restaurant that specialized in Spam. It occurs to me they didn't serve Spam and shrimp. There's your big chance, Willie.
Damn the poor. What about the royal family. They need their shrimp and lobster. The poor can eat cake, or Twinkies, whichever the desire.
Fay Paxton - SPAM has already been brilliantly covered by Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Scanner - The Royal family must do their part and sacrifice by eating Killer Shrimp instead of lobster and caviar.
Come back to New York and study belly dance with me. You can pay me in shrimp cocktail, shrimp with garlic sauce or shrimp scampi.
Sir, if I am not mistaken, the British Prime Minister would call them 'Killer Prawns.' I lived there for 10 months and finally figured out that they don't eat chess pieces.
The next thing you know, the Jews will be accused of bringing the Lox Ness Monster to Scotland......
kateasley - the british invader is a different species of shrimp from the Monterey marauder. The MBay aquarium shrimp is a saltwater shrimp called a "mantis" shrimp from Florida. Who knew that one shrimp could create so much havoc?

Eva T. Made Vaudeville - Your offer to return to NY as your bellydancing apprentice is quite tempting. All this talk about shrimp has activated my salivary glands and I am drooling all over my laptop.

DeliaBlack - Killer Prawns chess pieces! You have a wicked sense of humor.

cartouche - The Jewish Lox Ness lives in a lake in Monticello, NY near Grossingers.
I don't see the problem. They have BP after all, experts at killing shrimp.

Good one Willie.
Boomer Bob - That's a great idea. Just have the boys from BP kill everything, including the invasive killer shrimp.
"These are big shrimp, growing up to 30 millimeters (a tad longer than my tallywhacker)..." FOFL

Rated.
Alfred Booth - I have been waiting a long time to use the word, "tallywhacker" in one of my stories.