Revenge of the Turkeys - The Day After Thanksgiving
Jules and Vincent took it all in. They watched the humans engage in the annual ritual of stuffing their faces full of the flesh of dead turkey. Soon the bloated humans would get drowsy and fall asleep, oblivious to the football game blaring from the flat screen.
Jules and Vincent were wild turkeys. They could fly and were smarter than their flightless and clueless domesticated cousins.
It only took a minute to tie up the sleeping humans. Too much food and alcohol had rendered them helpless. The wild turkeys pulled the shades and collected all the cell phones.
"Hey Jules. Check it out. A Droid."
"Fuck the phone, Vincent. We need to take care of business like Marsellus said."
"What exactly did Marsellus say to do?"
"He said we should get medieval on their hillbilly asses."
One of the humans began to wake up. He noticed that he and all of his holiday guests were tied up.
"What the hell is going on here? Who tied us up? What kind of sick joke is this?
"This ain't no joke, motherfucker," said Jules as he stared coldy at him.
"Turkeys can't talk. I must have had too much to drink. Turkeys can't talk. Turkeys can't talk. This is crazy. Turkeys can'..."
Jules pulled out his favorite gun, a magnum with a silencer.
"Say it one more time that turkeys can't talk, motherfucker. Go ahead say it. I dare you. I double dare you. What can't turkeys do?"
"What can't turkeys do?" Jules moved closer with the gun.
"Wha... I da...
"Speak English, motherfucker. Can you speak English? Well, so can we."
"Take whatever you want. There's money and jewelery upstairs."
"How many turkeys have you seen wearing jewelery, dumb ass? What else you got?
"I've got a little bit of marijuana and cocaine in the upstairs closet."
"Vincent. Go upstairs and get the weed. Leave the coke."
"But Jules. I promise not to use it all at once."
"I told you Vincent. I can't have no crackhead for a partner. Crackheads ain't reliable. They make mistakes and we can't afford no mistakes in our line of work."
Some of the other guests began to wake up. Vincent and Jules decided it was time to do the deed and leave.
"Listen up. I hate to repeat myself. It gets me aggravated and prone to intermittent fits of gratuitous violence. This is the last time that any of you motherfuckers is going to eat turkey. We need to be crystal clear on that. Next Thanksgiving you can make one of those stupid ass tofu turkeys or go out for chinese food. My partner and I will be watching all your asses every fucking year."
Jules untied the first human that had woken up.
"You untie the rest of these sorry ass motherfuckers. Vincent. Give him back the cellphones."
"Can I keep the Droid?"
"Fuck the phone. We outta here."
Vincent and Jules fly out the window as the stunned humans sit in silence.
Pulp Fiction, Miramax Films, Quentin Tarantino, Roger Avary, Copyright 1994