On the heels of the latest release of embarrassing, classified documents from WikiLeaks, governments around the world have raided and closed all suspected Wiki Bars, resulting in fear, confusion, hiccups, blurred vision, and random yodelling. In addition, thousands of hard working bartenders have been left jobless and braless.  Reports from Hawaii indicate an increase of almost twenty percent in the state rate of unemployment, along with a similar increase in the percentage of individuals throwing themselves into active volcanoes.

White House spokesman, Gobert Ribbs, denied any change in the government's policy toward Wiki bars.

"As long as the establishment has a valid license to operate, and has committed no actions that may or may not endanger the national security and personal safety of Americans fighting to preserve our way of life in any foreign country, then we have no problem with Wiki bars.

"What about the revelations about Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, asking diplomats to spy on United Nations officials?"

"This is a non issue."

"Why?"

"Because it is public knowledge that for decades the Clintons have collected information on thousands of individuals.  It is one of their hobbies along with golfing and spelunking.  No more questions.  Does anybody here know where a guy can get a decent mai tai?"