The ongoing trend of new laptops designed to be razor thin, slimmer and lighter than ever before, has resulted in a disturbing phenomenon, the "anorexic" laptop. A rising tide of consumers that have purchased the newest, skinniest, and lightest laptops are experiencing technological problems such as failure to download friles and software, along with reduced appetite for hard drive.
The major manufacturers have all denied a connection between the recent rash of customer complaints and laptops that weigh less than Kate Moss.
"Our marketing strategies indicated that people like slim, light laptops better than chubby, big-boned laptops," said Arnold Goth of Dell Computers.
Steve Jobs, head of Apple, has denied rumors that he is considering changing the name of the company to a smaller fruit such as a grape or blueberry.
"Nonsense. We couldn't use blueberry. Idiots, I mean people, would confuse the name with the Blackberry. I will admit that we have considered changing our name to CrabApple in order to increase our presence in the Chesapeake Bay area. I'm actually quite fond of crabs. I have a pet crab named Larry which I take for long walks on the beach with a leash. I get some of my best ideas from Larry."
According to attorney, Stanley Finkel, a class action suit against all the major laptop makers may be the only way to force them to confront the epidemic of "laptop anorexia."


Salon.com
Comments
rated with hugs
kateasley - Group therapy with the "Geek Squad?"
linda s. - I'm not sure why, but you can't look a gift horse in the mouth.
john blumenthal - My laptop couldn't fit in the drive through window.
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Roseycheeks - I think if you called up "Technical Support" and started talking about apple sauce and tapeworms, they would redirect your call to the nearest psych ward.
skypixie0 - At the heart of every apple is an apple core which contain apple seeds. I'm not sure if that means anything, but it sounds semi-intelligent.
DeliaBlack - You are absolutely right. The young laptops see those super slim models in the magazines and they want to grow up to be just like them.
Put another way, if their product doesn't have a CD/DVD-R/RW drive in it, I'm not interested!