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FEBRUARY 9, 2011 1:51PM

More Reports Surface Of Anorexic Laptops

Rate: 12 Flag

The ongoing trend of new laptops designed to be razor thin, slimmer and lighter than ever before, has resulted in a disturbing phenomenon, the "anorexic" laptop.  A rising tide of consumers that have purchased the newest, skinniest, and lightest laptops are experiencing technological problems such as failure to download friles and software, along with reduced appetite for hard drive.

The major manufacturers have all denied a connection between the recent rash of customer complaints  and laptops that weigh less than Kate Moss.

"Our marketing strategies indicated that people like slim, light laptops better than chubby, big-boned laptops," said Arnold Goth of Dell Computers.

Steve Jobs, head of Apple, has denied rumors that he is considering changing the name of the company to a smaller fruit such as a grape or blueberry.

"Nonsense.  We couldn't use blueberry.  Idiots, I mean people, would confuse the name with the Blackberry.   I will admit that we have considered changing our name to CrabApple in order to increase our presence in the Chesapeake Bay area.  I'm actually quite fond of crabs.  I have a pet crab named Larry which I take for long walks on the beach with a leash.  I get some of my best ideas from Larry."

According to attorney, Stanley Finkel, a class action suit against all the major laptop makers may be the only way to force them to confront the epidemic of "laptop anorexia."

 

 

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Comments

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Does your laptop weigh less than Kate Moss?
My laptop is chunky; my wife's is slim. Should I be worried?
I was given a laptop by family last year. I knew it had been on sale because the laptop was bigger than my lap.. Not that there is anything wrong with that..:)
rated with hugs
My laptop loves MACdonalds.
Geraint Isitt - I prefer full-figured laptops.

kateasley - Group therapy with the "Geek Squad?"

linda s. - I'm not sure why, but you can't look a gift horse in the mouth.

john blumenthal - My laptop couldn't fit in the drive through window.
Stanley Finkel? Thats my lawyer. I fired Bendover, Bendover and Takeit!
I really do worry that my little mac has a worm like a tapeworm maybe? that's eating away at its poor little insides reducing it further and further into applesauce. What to do ? rated
I thought that Apple would come out with "The Bite" and use the missing part of their apple as its logo.....

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scanner - Have you heard of the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe?

Roseycheeks - I think if you called up "Technical Support" and started talking about apple sauce and tapeworms, they would redirect your call to the nearest psych ward.

skypixie0 - At the heart of every apple is an apple core which contain apple seeds. I'm not sure if that means anything, but it sounds semi-intelligent.
It is outrageous! I'm glad Mr. Finkel is finally taking my complaints (letters, email, phone calls, texts and blimp) seriously.
I am for all sizes of laptops! I know why they get too thin...they see those models in the magazines, and they start to think that is the ideal.
Bellwether Vance - The glow-in-the-dark blimp did the trick.

DeliaBlack - You are absolutely right. The young laptops see those super slim models in the magazines and they want to grow up to be just like them.
This is hilarious: "A rising tide of consumers that have purchased the newest, skinniest, and lightest laptops are experiencing technological problems such as failure to download friles and software, along with reduced appetite for hard drive."
Caroline Hagood - Your positive comments are very much appreciated.
Mindful that a full-figured laptop can sure do a number on your shoulders carrying one in a backpack, I do wish that computer manufacturers would ease up on making their products smaller and pay more attention to functionality.

Put another way, if their product doesn't have a CD/DVD-R/RW drive in it, I'm not interested!
thefuddler - the trend in technology toward "smaller" is what inspired my attempt at satire via "anorexic laptops." I agree with you that functionality is paramount, not style or size.