Ladies and Gentlemen, back because I am missing my OS peeps, (I am not so arrogant to beleive that there is any such thing as popular demand where I am concerned) I have decided to liveblog Part II of the finale of that perennial Bravo Network favorite, "Top Chef." 

I know, I know, you are used to seeing me liveblog political events like debates and primary nights and election nights.  I should have liveblogged the Obama speech last night, right?  Well, I thought about it, believe me.  But honestly, I wanted to do something fun.

Let me just state for the record.  I LOVE Top Chef.  It is my crack, my kryptonite, the one show that I never miss.  It combines all the wonder of good food with the pleasure of watching folks compete who actually have some skill.  You can't do well on Top Chef without mad, mad cooking skills.  The kind of skills that give new meaning to the words "food porn."

Season Five of Top Chef has been an interesting season.  On the one hand, there are some fantastically talented chefs, but it seemed like none of them were totally living up to their cooking potential.  Unlike past seasons, where it seemed almost anyone could make it to the finals, the number of people who were legitimate contenders this year was small.

Stefan, the German chef whose arrogance has made him the bete noir of the other contestants, was something of a shoo-in from the beginning.  I lost track of the number of challeges he won, and I think at this point he does hold the record for most challeges won in a season, and for the most challenges won back to back. 

Hosea, the affable, laid back chef from Boulder, is as bald as Stefan but that is where the similarity ends.  Hosea is likable, affable, even unwittingly seducing one of his colleagues, the hapless and whiny Leah.  His food was more understated than Stefan's, but still excellent.

Fabio, the other member of "team Europe," an Italian, is as talented as Stefan, equally arrogant, and only slightly less annoying, mostly because he's a scrappy feller who makes it to Part I of the finale even though he severely injures his hand.

Carla, the quiet model-turned-caterer, was something of a surprise.  Winding up in the bottom two often early in the season, she seemed to be one more in a long line of caterers who tried for the title of Top Chef but just couldn't seem to match the skills of more classically trained chefs working in restaurant kitchens.  And then, somewhere along the way, Carla bloomed.  She became a graceful, confident presence in the kitchen, producing food that was excellent even if it wasn't flashy.  And the judges began to notice.  In the runup to the finale, she became unstoppable.

Fabio went home in part one of the Finale.  So now there are three..... 

Unlike the regular Iron Pundit vs. Iron Stomach series, I won't be eating while I blog, or trying to hold back a visceral need to retch. This is going to be straight liveblogging, pure and simple.

On with the show.... 

9:48 p.m. -- watching the end of Part I of the Finale.  The judges brought Jeff back to compete for the chance to get back in the game.  Jeff was one of my favorites through the whole competition, and not just because he's got the kind of looks that make you want him to cook for you, and then take you to bed. 

9:51 p.m. -- I can't help it, I'm hungry. I skipped dinner tonight and all the food is making me want something to eat.  If it involves a good roux, so much the better.

9:54 p.m. -- Emeril is praising the winner for balance, simplicity, flavor....it's Carla!  And she gets a car! 

9:56 p.m. -- Stefan made a critical error in giving obvious attitude to the judges.  This is not a competition that suffers hubris gladly.  As we go into the final challenge, Stefan is playing catchup.  They know his food is good, but who wants a Top Chef who's an arrogant fuckhead?

10:00 p.m. -- Here we go, the beginning of the finale!  The contestants are on a paddleboat having breakfast.

10:02 p.m. -- Stefan disses Hosea, doing his traditional "I rule, you all suck" routine.  By now it is old, and looks a little delusional.

10:03 p.m. -- The contestants are cooking at Commander's Palace.  And they are now getting their help -- it's folks from past seasons:  Casey, Richard and Marcel.  God, I really HATE Marcel.

10:05 p.m. -- Stefan pairs with Marcel.  And calls him a twat.  Maybe Stefan is not so bad after all.....

10:07 p.m. -- Stefan is playing head games with Hosea...constantly on him wanting whatever he's using.  Meanwhile, Carla gets left to herself.  Casey convinces her to sous-vide the beef.

10:11 p.m. -- Carla's choice is going to have some interesting reprecussions not only because she's trying something new for her.  She's also doing a technique that Richard Blais, who is working with Hosea, loves.  If the finale becomes a sous-vide fest, it might be bad for Carla.

10:13 p.m. -- they bring in a voodoo priestess/tarot reader.  For me, that is MOST interesting.....given all the bones, I'd say she's more priestess than reader.  We'll see.....

10:15 p.m. -- Does anyone else find the Alec Baldwin/Hulu commercials way too believable for comfort?

10:17 p.m. -- And here comes the TWIST! They need to do the tray pass appetizers.  And there's KING CAKE.  I LOVE KING CAKE!

10:18 p.m. -- Hosea gets the baby!  Stefan will get the alligator, naturally.

10:20 p.m. -- Stefan decides to phone in some alligator soup.  Carla's crab decides to bite her.

10:21 p.m. -- Hosea chooses no dessert.  Carla and Stefan both do desserts, although Carla's is more of a cheese course.

10:23 p.m. -- Stefan is freezing his fish? Marcel correctly is unimpressed with the idea.

10:24 p.m. -- Still hungry.  Dammit.

10:28 p.m. -- Gail is looking MIGHTY chesty in that dress.....

10:29 p.m. -- LOVE John Besh!  And Hosea's hor d'oeuvre looks FABULOUS.

10:30 p.m. -- All the pass arounds, seem to go well.  I like that they have Branford Marsalis on the panel, AND Fabio!

10:32 p.m. -- all three do fish for the first course.  Frankly, Carla's sounds the most appealing.

10:33 p.m. -- Stefan's fish bombs, comparatively speaking.  Next course.  Stefan does squab.  Carla does meat and taters, and Hosea does a scallop.  Carla's dish bombs.

10:35 p.m. -- Branford Marsalis could eat foie gras all day.  YAY!  Hosea's scallop is amazing, and the squab is doing well.  Meanwhile, Carla is in trouble in the kitchen with her soufflee. 

10:38 p.m. -- GOD, that venison Hosea made looks AWESOME.

10:39 p.m. -- Stefan's dessert is liked, but as a strategic question it flops.  Although some of the judges stick up for it.

10:41 p.m. -- at this point, it's a pretty safe bet that Carla is out of the running.  She didn't produce an excellent main course and her final course was a flop.  Compared to the other two, she didn't pull it off.  It pains me to say that, because Carla is most definitely as talented as the cue ball two, but she just didn't make it work tonight.

10:44 p.m -- Carla's meat course gets reamed by the judges.  They correctly peg the problem as being Casey's influence.

10:46 p.m. -- Hosea be honest, it was fun to give Stefan the alligator.....

10:47 p.m. -- Hosea's meal appears to be well-received.  He gets asked about dessert, and he handles the challenge well.

10:49 p.m. -- Stefan's ego gets him in trouble -- he is so confident in his choices that he doesn't even acknowledge where he might be lacking.

10:50 p.m. -- Poor Carla.  She's lost and she knows it.  She's having a hard time making her case.  Props to Stefan for reaching out to her.

10:51 p.m. -- Here we go, the total deliberation.  Stefan is getting a lot of credit for his menu construction, even though the execution wasn't all the way there on some of the courses.  Hosea is being pilloried for not doing a dessert that he was told he didn't have to do.  If he loses because of that, I'll be so pissed.

10:55 p.m. -- I'll be honest.  I think Hosea should get it.  And I'm not saying that becasue Mary's sitting next to him in Boulder.....

10:57 p.m. -- Here we go...the fluff and bother leading up to that suspenseful moment.  Milk it Bravo, milk it!

10:58 p.m. -- AND HOSEA WINS!!!!!!!!!

10:59 p.m. -- Stefan is being a good sport about losing.  Carla knows what she did good and not so good.  It's so good to see someone cool win.

Well, that's all folks, another season of Top Chef is a wrap!  Hosea joins the ranks of Top Chef winners.  Now, how long until season six?