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Liz Emrich

Liz Emrich
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A column that brings the wisdom of a lawyer and a mom to the politcal landscape.

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JUNE 10, 2009 9:54PM

Iron Pundit vs. Iron Skillet: Top Chef Masters, ep.1

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tom-chef-masters-bios
  

Greetings everyone!  And welcome to the beginning of the liveblogging of Top Chef Masters!

Back in the day, the Iron Pundit would attempt to watch political chicanery while eating. This is going to be somewhat different. Eating while liveblogging a food show seems just a little bit of foodie overkill.  So I have already had my dinner.

For this inaugural episode, I got takeout from the restaurant at my hotel.  Hardly sounds Top Chef-ey does it?  Well, what I haven't told you is that the restaurant is David Burke's "Primehouse" and the dinner was a fabulous 7 ounce delmonico steak with bleu cheese, steamed broccoli and a "mac and cheese" that would melt your heart (and harden your arteries).

You should also know that tonight I must deliver a very special Iron Pundit shout-out to my pal Mike M., who valiantly supplied me with a cable and internet hookup when I discovered that my beloved James Hotel did not have the Bravo network on their hotel cable offerings. (Iron Pundit may be having a discussion with the manager soon...) So I am working with equipment and in a space that is not my own.  Yet I will endure all manner of hardship to deliver the liveblog to YOU, the Top Chef fans of OS.

 So welcome to the party!  Put your feet up, grab a glass of merlot and join in the fun....

ALL TIMES WILL BE CENTRAL TIME BECAUSE I AM IN CHICAGO...

7:53 pm -- I decide to finish my meal with a "dessert" of sorts: a nice glass of chocolate soy milk.  I love chocolate soy milk.

7:54 p.m. -- I'm having to lean back in my chair to both type and see the TV....Mike doesn't have wireless Internet so I am typing from his desktop, which is not positioned for optimal TV viewing.  I am hoping I don't go cross-eyed tonight.

7:57 pm -- the little countdown clock says there's less than three minutes until the new season starts.  In the meantime, we have to watch Carla lose again and Hosea beat Stephan.  I still like Hosea.

8:00 pm -- here we go....I have said before I am less than impressed with Kelly Choi's credentials, we'll see how she does.

8:01 pm -- So the first episode features Michael Schlow, a James Beard winner from Boston, who is repping for the Cam Neely foundation.  I like his humility

8:02 p.m -- Here comes Hubert Keller.

8:04 p.m. -- Christopher Lee is the chef at Aureole.  I've eaten at Aureole, and he's playing for Autism Speaks.  And Tim Love is from Texas.  Boy howdy is he from Texas.

8:06 p.m. -- bringing back favorite quickfires from seasons past?  I'm not sure about this.  But making these guys do dessert...priceless.

8:07 pm. -- I love that they have Girl Scouts judging.  I'm liking Tim Love's style.  The tequila, the juggling.  His sense of play will be a real asset.

8:10 pm -- Christopher Lee is doing french toast, whcih is probably a good idea.  Meanwhile, Michael Sclow is already in the weeds.

8:11 pm -- Michael Shclow has just plated perhaps the ugliest Top Chef dessert I have ever seen.

8:15 pm -- Michael Schlow KNOWS he did something stinky. I LURVE The chicken fried strawberry.  It's awesome.

8:17 pm -- Hubert Keller knocks em dead with his critters.  Chris Lee is not doing so well with his breakfast for dessert idea.

8:19 pm -- Hubert keller scores with the Girl Scouts.  The challenge is awesome -- they have to cook everything on a hot plate and a microwave.  I love it.

8:21 pm -- I can already see the chefs making critical mistakes -- salmon ina microwave?  Yeah it's going to hold up better than say, roughy, but it's going to dry out.

8:22 pm -- the star rating method seems to be another way to keep the chef egos from being hurt.  The judges do not have to reach consensus on who won or lost, they are not being "judged" so much as competing.

8:26 pm -- Tim Love accidentally put his stuff in the freezer.  Oh my god.

8:27 pm -- nice touch putting them in the dorm rooms. I do love how they are driving them around in Lexuses.  or is that Lexii?

8:28 pm -- Hubert Keller is a DJ?  that's so random.

8:30 pm -- I love that Hubert Keller is cooking the pasta in the shower.  That is friggin' genius.

8:31 pm -- iI like all these guys for different reasons.  Hubert because he's wacky, Chris Lee because he's really into his charity, Tim Love becuase he's playful.  Schlow is my least fave, but he's kind of funny and snarky.

8:33 pm -- It's interesting to watch the critics eat as opposed to the students.  The students just can't believe it was made in their room, while the critics claim it's a cop out for them to do a raw course as a starter.

8:36 pm -- So far they have been plotzing over everything Hubert Keller did. Michael Schlow's stuff seems to be a miss overall, and Tim Love and Christopher Lee have some hits and some misses.  I think this is Hubert's to lose at this point.

8:40 pm -- On a side note, I think someone from the New Jersey cast of Real Housewives will end up with cement shoes.....

8:41 pm -- I  like the montage of "chefs attempt to use microwave..."  Do none of these men have children for chrissakes?

8:42 pm -- This is why it's such a travesty they don't have more women in the competition.  A woman would have smoked these guys asses with a microwave.

8:44 pm -- Kelly Choi seems really stiff and scripted.  The critics are digging the shower story. 

8:46 pm -- Gael Greene's accent and her desire to make everything sound french will drive me to drink soon.

8:47 pm -- If I were single, I would want to go on a date with Tim Love, with Hubert keller cooking us dinner.

8:49 pm -- "homely cooking?"  the soup was "homely"?

8:51 pm -- the "Critic's Table" doesn't seem to have the same oomph as it does during regular Top Chef.  I don't know if it's because they are critics and used to being measured in their words, or if it's the fact that we all know that they aren't trying to convince each other of anything so much as rehashing their personal opinions.

 8:55 pm -- Okay, the whole thing is going to drag out as we go blind listening to who got how many stars.

8:56 pm -- Christopher Lee is doing really well.  Surprising to see 4 stars from both Gael and the long haired guy...what was his name?  Argh.

8:58 pm - Hubert Keller wins....as if there was a doubt. 

8:58 pm -- I have to wonder if there isn't a little rigging going on in the brackets?  I'll have to articulate that a little more down the line...but it just seemed obvious that Hubert would win.

Well, that's it for this episode folks.  On the whole I think we are in for an interesting season, if only becasue I get to meet tons of new chefs to crush on.  Thanks for stopping by.....

 

And Tim, if you're out there....if I wasn't married..... ;)

 

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Comments

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OMG - I am jealous of your dinner & your hotel room...the chocolate soy milk & non-wireless NOT so much. Grabbing a glass of single-malt scotch - somehow seems fitting.
I'm here!!! Woohoo and squeeeeeeee!
Moosehead in hand. Hubby's making broccoli soup so I might be behind waiting for him to watch, too.
I think they are also going to be filming Top Chef six, and so no overlap
Damn, still waiting for hubby. I feel deprived.
ok, so I'm a relative rookie - what are Kelly Choi's creds?
hmm...question - do you need to do desserts well to be a Top Chef? I'm not convinced - baking seems rather specialized to me.
Ke;;y Choi hosts s syndicated program about tourism in New York, and local New York program about restaurants.
While I'm waiting, I'd just like to say I miss thunderstorms and keep checking Hawley weather.

And pastry is typically a specialty. Most chefs do not specialize in both baking and savory cuisine.
I have a theory that people are either cookers or bakers. Very rarely the stars align and produce someone who can do both. But the quickfires are really about making these guys sweat big under the gun. So I'm okay with the dessert challenge in this case.

Although I want to see challenge where they have to amke a crock pot dish for The Squirrel's restaurant.
Okay, love Hubert Keller. Also love cheese and broccoli soup.
I subscribe to your theory, Liz.

hmmm...Wonder what the Girl Scouts will think about the turds on a plate?
That woman talks too loudly.
Hubert should win if only for his pronunciation of Zabaglione! but the presentation was awesome & totally knocked it out of the park with this audience.
ok, however you spell that word - Sabayon?

and I haven't even finished my Scotch yet
I love the Texan. Gramma worked for MOD.
So near yet so far!

Am thinking squirrel is probobly working as you blog---and if I weren't so old and he wasn't so expecting---there is a GREAT bar at Montrose and Lincoln that he has recommmended---and I wish we could really get you out of downtown and into the neighborhoods. . . .
so is this a private party or what? haha!

Great post ... I don't feel like I missed a thing!
Zabayon is Italian, the other is French, same deal.
ok, I already hate this Michael dude.
Welcome Roger, Ann!
I can't stand that woman. She is screaming at me. She might as well be selling Oxyclean.
I just got home so I will have to watch the rebroadcast which follows immediately after. I didn't even realize it was starting tonight! I'll check back after I've viewed it. (:
I am so loving the pasta in the hall bathroom...ok, I have a Francophile crush on uuuhh-beahrrr
jeez, Michael is such a k'vetch! Dude - have fun!
I can't believe the Texan froze his produce. I still like him but am crushing on Hubert.
ok, Frenchies, what the hell is "Mi Cuit"?
Ooooobearrrrr, I lurve youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad I'm not a real housewife (wive?) and can use a microwave.

Did I mention that woman bugs the crap out of me? I miss Padma!
on the Housewives side-note, stayed up til 2 am catching up...so Danielle? or Dena?
or poor pitiful Jacqueline, who can't hurt anyone's feelings
Kelly seems like a deer in the headlights...not loving her
I think I'd rather go out with Hubert.
8:47 pm (CDT) - you rock, girl!
The woman food critic is a fossil. But I like her. And I like her. Whichever.
OS road trip to Texas - hang with Barry & who else? & meet Tim Love?
Julie Delio is down there too...I'm in!
No Texas until the fall. Not trading one hot place for another.
Liz, you're right. I enjoy the banter of the regular judges more. And as you said earlier, the chefs are not fighting each other, just for scores.
wow...stars seem kinda harsh...how embarrassing
I can't go until Fall either...but need that much time to make a plan...& my sister lives in Big D and I'm due a visit
So, is Kelly hosting every episode? Egads! Hopefully she will get better.
Did the ending order seem scripted to anyone else? Criminy.

Can't stand that hostess. I think I might have mentioned that.
I popped in only to tell you "I love you", "Squee" and that Gael Greene annoys the shit out of me too. But Ihave to babysit at my blog, walk the Bigster and go to bed soon. I'll leave this in your capable hands! And that dinner, honey? Heart attack on a plate, I tell you! If you are still in Chi-town tomorrow, go to Silversea for the best Chinese food you will ever have.... xoxo
thanks Liz - 'twas fun as always; you are a remarkable hostess. What will it take to replace Kelly Choi with your own awesomeness? Can we start a petition? :-) Squee!
Fuck me. I missed this while I was out shopping, then back home, cooking Fish Tikka Masala with Rock Shrimp, Snow Peas and Snow Pea Tips, with Jasmine rice and steamed mini pork buns for an appetizer. 2nd tall Sapporo instead of dessert. I used no microwave, two skillets and two pots (one for rice and one for steaming buns). I'm sure I could never win this competition but I bet I could get Liz and Lauren to go out with me, even though we're ALL married.
Rated for chocolate soy milk!
S
Lonnie, I'd do just about anything for your steamy buns.....

Crap, did I say that out loud?
Liz, so glad to see you doing this and back again as an OS presence. You have been missed. I was working last night and missed this so it was great fun to read your posts and the comments. And now I'm hungry...just hearing Top Chef makes me hungry.
Faboo summary, Liz. Tim's not the kind of dude who does it for me; I'd be on a date with Hubert and I wouldn't care who was cooking. ;-) But this was a wonderful recap! (I know, I know, it wasn't a recap as you wrote it, but...)
Enjoyed the show last night, as well. I don't think the microwaves got much use, actually. Nor the toaster ovens, really. They seemed to focus on using the hot plate to sear and cook their foods. . .I would expect nothing less from a master chef. The judges were a bit lame, then again, I suspect they didn't want to come out swinging at such luminaries of the culinary world. As for Gael Greene, she's really gotta give up the hats--she reminded me of Carol Burnett's take on aging movie stars, Norma Desmond. On to next week!
I totally loved Hubert - he is so French and so good but didn't come across as arrogant in the least. (His hair was making me think he was going to be le jerk. Turns out just his hair is le jerk.)

Lee seemed quite high on himself, whereas Love and Schlow just tried to do their best.

Not impressed at all with host Choi. But I'm also not at all impressed with Padma. I certainly understand why Bravo feels the need to insert dubious "experts" in size 0 dresses, but foodies are not really looking at human eye candy - we just want to see the plated eye candy.
You know, I continue to wish that there would be 2 other shows of this nature developed. One would take off on Guy Fieri's "Triple D" and be a "top diner cook" competition--damn I bet that could be fun and a lot less pretentious. The other would take these "Top Chefs" and give them a budget of $10 to create dinner for 4 (2 adults and 2 kids) and 45 minutes to cook it. Let's see what they can do (I've been doing that for 35 years--and often can do it for under $5).
If all the episodes features chefs who enjoy one another like these 4 and who don't take things so seriously like these 4 this will be fun.
Mary T -- it's actually good to be back....

Verbal -- Maybe we could get them to do a double date?

Mal Beck -- Thanks for stopping by! I agree they avoided the microwave, in part because of ineptitude, in part because it really is a lousy way to cook anything. My own microwave at home is pretty much for reheating leftovers, popcorn, and the occaisional defrosting of ground beef.

DaBerm -- Thanks for stopping by! Padma has kind of grown on me in the last few seasons. She actually has done a few cookbooks, I think, so she does have some idea what she's talking about foodwise, probably a bit more than Kelly Choi. The eye candy thing kinda bugs me, especially since Choi has that weird "lollipop" look going where she has this ginormous head on a way too skinny body. We'll see if she loosens up over the course of the season. So far, not impressed.

Walter -- Couldn't agree more. I think one year they did try to do a challenge that was a nod to how real families cook and eat, but I can't remember which season it was. I am developing a list in my brain of Top Chef challenges I'd like to see.....maybe that's another post someday.

Stellaa -- I don't know what it is with people in this country hating the French. Is this something we picked up from Canada?
What about Eric Ripert? And I didn't see the show, so your cooking pasta in the shower reference made me immediately flash to Kramer washing lettuce in the shower in "Seinfeld." Ewww. I often stay at the Conrad in that neighborhood and have to check out Primehouse next time I'm in town, loves me some good steak.
Scatogator, welcome! I've stayed at the Conrad...nice hotel, though I have my reasons for liking The James better...mostly the service is impeccable. Eric Ripert isn't going to be on the masters season, even though he has judged regular Top Chef in the past.
Liz - Padma has always seemed so stiff and, I don't know, kinda high school popularity contest gone awry... if you know what I mean. I know she's got some relation to food but, really, that Burger King commercial? Double yuck.

I just can't warm up to her. Collichio is the one for me.
This was interesting...wish I hadn't had to work, tonight! =o) But I don't feel I missed much.

I don't think I EVER want to know what a "Chicken Fried Strawberry" looks like or tastes like.

I'm very amused by the thought of cooking pasta in a shower.
Oh Liz. I don't watch the show, but you're right about why Americans hate the French. It is something you picked up from Canada. I keep forgetting how much influence we have over you guys.