Erin hated me because my first name was the same as her middle name. To a kidnergartener, stealing someone's name is among the utmost transgressions. At five years old, a name is the closest thing any of us had to an identity, and I had hijacked half of… Read full post »

I miss our tender moments. Remember the concert where you draped yourself over my shoulders and fell there, like dead weight against the dove-curve where my neck meets my back? You were heavy and real against me and the smell of your hair engulfed my nostrils. It was unpleasant to everyone… Read full post »

Stop seeing his eyes in other people's faces. When you pass someone on the sidewalk, don't let your chest throb with recognition. Don't stare for a few seconds longer than necessary, remembering how you used to swim grateful laps in depths so much like those that are achingly familiar. 

 Wh… Read full post »

I spend more time thinking about writing than actually writing. The thought of producing words, of stringing them together into phrases, then sentences, maybe, paralyzes my fingers, a shot of Novocain in each knuckle, hunched like little old men over the keys. Arthritic shoulders. Just… Read full post »

Ok, I admit it. Last night, when I was supposed to be diving brain-first into Terry Tempest Williams' "Refuge," I read the "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins  instead. And as much as it pains my pretentious literature nerd soul to jump on the bandwagon, I'm hooked. 

My edi… Read full post »

I'm reading a poetry anthology called Beauty is a Verb: the New Poetry of Disability, edited by Jennifer Bartlett, Shelia Black and Michael Northen and I want to literally devour it.  I want to break its spine and tear its pages out, one by one, stuff them in my mouth/… Read full post »

To thine own self be true.

Above all else, be kind.

Can we be both? Should we? And just how far does "kind" extend?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the treatment of the scenes and, by association, the characters who appear in my… Read full post »

Sometimes, something as small as a paperback from a friend can change your life. But, like most improbable cliches, the timing has to be right for that to happen. You have to be in a certain state of mind: optimistic, maybe. Or overtired. You also have to be in the… Read full post »

Back in elementary school, we had a thing called Show and Tell. I'm sure some of you remember. The idea was, each kid brought in her most treasured possession, something particularly gross, exciting, sparkly, shiny, whatever, and showed it off to one-up the next kid. If you didn't have… Read full post »

If the economy was a joke in 2009, freshly-minted college grads were the punchline.

 December 2008: the economy is tanking, and it's tanking hard. Unemployment is skyrocketing, moms are competing with their teens who are elbowing their retired grandmas out of the way, all because m… Read full post »

I close my eyes and I am a dancer

all pin-tight turns like curls I used to twirl in my hair

when I wanted to look like Somebody.

Box steps liberate me

one-two-one-two out of the limitations my life has placed on me

and motionless

I'm free.

Last night,… Read full post »

You know what bothers me most about the LeRoy high school "mass hysteria" case that's receiving so much media attention right now? The fact that the parents are refusing to allow their children to seek treatment because, apparently, they don't like the diagnosis. 

The neurologists at the… Read full post »

I love getting emails.

I know this is the age of text messages and facebook and social media and email is like, sooooo five seconds ago, but is there anything as exciting as looking at your phone and seeing that little red star that means "someone wants to… Read full post »

Sometimes I write feverishly.

The words spread through my veins like wildfire and burst out my fingers, burning burning burning through my thoughts until the only relief is dipping them in ink, shaking them across a keyboard. Letters, then words, then sentences that become stories appe… Read full post »

Sometimes, fear is quiet. It comes and taps on my window on a portrait of a winter night, its footfalls undetectable on the snow, the gentle rap rap rapping like a tree branch whispering against the glass. The snowflakes drifting through midnight air crystallize on bark and blacktop and sparkle more… Read full post »

I come back to my blog, now and then, and realize how far away I've been.

 A funny place, cyberspace. I read Open Salon daily, several times daily, and my finger hovers over the "new post" button, but something pulls me back.

Some voice in my head says, "You've got nothing… Read full post »

Last New Year’s Eve, I thought I tried to do it all. My family was having our annual New Year’s Eve party: an hors d’ouvres spread to feed an army, enough wine to flood the Ganges and hours of games and laughter with the family that loved me before… Read full post »

I came into work Monday morning to a smiling editor.

 "There was a house fire on Spring Street. It's going to be a good week!"

 And my stomach leapt with excitement at the tasks ahead. In a small town like the one we cover, a house fire is big news. A… Read full post »

A few weeks before Thanksgiving, in preparation for the holiday gift-giving frenzy ahead, my mom crouched in the spare room we called “the office,” code for “the place we store all the junk we don’t need but haven’t thrown away yet.” She tossed… Read full post »

 I was the dorkiest cheerleader you’ve ever seen. At my parochial grade school, there were two options for extracurricular activities during the winter: basketball or cheerleading. My parents told me I had to "participate in something" to keep me from spending the entire snowy season watch… Read full post »

I’ll come right out and say it: I chose my college because of money. Sure, the stellar journalism program that made me look there in the first place helped. The location was right: an hour and a half from home, so it was close enough to grab supplies from… Read full post »

I’ve gone to church almost every weekend this summer. No, I haven’t had some dramatic religious conversion. No, I haven’t reawakened my passion for Catholicism. But there’s something there I want, although it isn’t the something I think most of the attendees are looking… Read full post »

"Why would we want to read about the riots in London?" my brother scoffed, as I bemoaned the lack of coverage on American news outlets. "That doesn't matter to us."

 It matters to me, little brother. And this is why.

 Almost a year ago, I set off for… Read full post »

My brain gave itself permission to dream about S last night. He’s safely back in California now, my sources told me late last week. Not that I care whether he’s safe or not, or not that I want to admit I still do. But it’s safe for me to dream… Read full post »