This is the title of my book.

No one wants to know what it's like to have mental illness.

All the quirky experiences.

All the manic episodes.

All the family dysfunction.

All the epiphanies.

All the anguish  when in depression.

What does normalcy really mean??

Feelings of jealosy and envy.

Anger… Read full post »

When i hear those old love songs my heart melts.

the clarity of the songs words resonate inside my brain.

I get teary eyed because I have been broken hearted.

Lately i have been wondering if i'll ever find love again.

Recently i found a woman but she was playing  games… Read full post »

There once was a man who was a womenizer

He could catch women like a spider.

It wasn't until later in life that he became

more like an advisor.

He chose food as his tranquilizer.

Then Karma started to suggest shame.

However he had no one else to blame.

If you… Read full post »

I don't know why I keep watching cops on t.v.  It's probably because I wanted to be a cop before i was diagnosed with Bi-Polar.

I love the action.  I sleep with a cop sized flashlight at night for protection.  When i was in the hospital I was ready to join the… Read full post »

There is a young man

who has lost all commands.

He is felt deep in my soul

The alcohol and drugs has taken its tole.

I have tried to get him help

but all i get is disrespect.

I dont know what to do

if u only new, that this man… Read full post »

There once was a boy who had it all.

Woman status and fame.

Then one day this boy died.

Everybody said what was wrong with him

how could he die so young?

The world wasn't the same without him.

Then one day this man spoke about the boy who had… Read full post »

How can my mind feel so dreadful.

I can barely drag myself to the computer.

I should be sleeping.

Another problem is the insomnia mixed with th manic state.

I'm bored already and the day hasn't even started yet.

What should i do?

I can't work right now.

I also feel… Read full post »

It all started when I was a teenager.  I was the best looking the best athlete and I was a cocky piece of shit.

I used and  abused around 60 girls throughout k-12.

Then I went off to college on a soccer scholarship and again I was the big  man on campus. 

I… Read full post »

It all started when I was 3 years old.  My uncle on my dad's side of the family, was teaching me the game of soccer also known worldwide as futbol.

Ever since then I practiced kiking that ball for hours every night.

I would kick against the garages  in the back… Read full post »

I have so much to say, however so little patience.

so i'm just going to write whatever comes to mind.

Yeah that was his name speaking in tongues.  I don't know why .

maybe because he was high .

I tried so hard to be compatible but i couldn't keep up… Read full post »

As we drink the night away

we will never sway

as we walk upon our way

further toward the New Day.

As foregiveness is our goal

nothing less will suffice.

We are men of ice

cracking at the seems

because of others dreamdevices.

we know their must be order

in the… Read full post »

Change change change,

            If you want change  you must walk through the valley of death

    fearing no conquest.

  and u must hold on to that pocket change jiggling , because the world can be a very toug… Read full post »

We lived on the west hartford side and hartford was on the other side. 

I can remember men whistleing at my mom ans she would say fuck you or fuck off. 

She sure new how to protect me.  You see our favorite pizza shop was  about 7 blocks down… Read full post »

I know its not just me, other families are dysfunctional too.

Why cant these people see their wrong and try to fix it.

I'm no saint but i don't mind taking the heat when put on the spot.

From there i try to fix things in my life..  While the rest… Read full post »

A story about a drunk.

I won't say her name out of courtesy to the dead, but man could she put away those martini's.

That was her drug of choice.

I can remember one get together she fell down flat on her face and everyone knew it was just auntie.

This… Read full post »

When i was fifteen I started to feel like everyone was looking at me.

Just for some background info. I was the captain of the soccer team and I had dated 50 girls on and off.

Man was I paranoid.  I didn't know what to say about my thoughts so i… Read full post »

I feel the loniliness flow through my veins all the way up to my heart.  My heart says wate i'm to much of a nice guy to not have a women.

Then the weight issue settles in.  Oh how self conscious i am about my 380lbs.  Having heart tests and everything.… Read full post »

I feel a special friend starting to drift away.

It hurts my heart to think about it.

I guess it's just natural for this to happen.

But very hard to except.

This person knows who they are.

I'll miss u from the bottom of my heart.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Sex is not just a physical act but it's the closest u can be to another person.  

I found out the hardway when my first love in college told me she had cheated on me at a party.

I was so stunned when she told me, i had to get… Read full post »

Hi everyone.  Ive been dealing with health problems for me and the family.  Unfortunately i still have writers block.  If some of my favorits would like to give me some sugestions I would ablige.  Your all in my prayers.  Sincerely, Loopy Read full post »

if i could have my way for one night

i would be in vienna,with my one and only

 true love, under the stars

as we pass our way through

the shadows start to come through

It is then i realize that i;m at home in bed

wondering when this is… Read full post »

are you clinically depressed if all you do is sleep all day.

it starts to unerve me

so i think something physically is wrong with me.

i just had a bunch tests of on all my organs

now i find out the results on the23rd of december.

            if… Read full post »

i lay here wondering what to write about,

as my mind plays tricks on what this world is about,

my eyes grow teary,

as my mind grows wiery

as long as something in my life keeps me cheery

i will keep stumbling along hopefully merry

wondering if this is all  still… Read full post »

as they climb and slither through their

pocketbooks and wallets

i wonder if today if really Thanksgiving as they say,

as they try to make a big display...

i don't just mean physical

but the mental side is also in play...

should i or shouldnt i

make a charade

 about… Read full post »

Rumination is the real devil here

If i could only slaughter my inner Ear

All my fear would be

like a fleeing deer

into the forest

where the hunter

is ready to kill

and eat the  angry flesh. Read full post »