I had to leave here for a while. I was badly hurt, emotionally, a couple of months ago and I shut down. My newfound equanimity was shattered. I lost the hard-won and recently acquired conviction that I had worth and value and that my words mattered, and this made writing… Read full post »

This may not mean anything to you or make sense, given our separate paths in life, but I want you to know that I did find some of the things I was looking for in this life. I found a way to stop hating myself for all the bad things that… Read full post »

I just read an article on Salon about the US economic issues and the abuses in the banking and finance industries, and it posed this excellent question:

"Why haven't ordinary Americans reacted more passionately and angrily in taking real action to end this systemic abuse?"

This really struck me… Read full post »

The title of this post is homage to my stepfather, a rather quirky and cryptic person, who once closed a thank you card with the sentiment “May the barnacles of unhappiness simply fall away”. Much as I adore this line, I don’t believe the barnacles of unhappiness will always (ever?)… Read full post »

It feels weird to be back here - I haven't posted or read anything on OS for quite a while. I must renew our acquaintance, so bear with me while I stumble through it awkwardly. Sticky fumbly new beginnings. Again.

I went out of town, then got really sick, and… Read full post »

Many people don't like it when I give voice to grief, suffering, pain, anger. Some don't like it because they don't want to have to face their own such unexpressed emotions, and others because they prefer not to face the fact that this can be a vicious, brutal world which often… Read full post »

I confess - I hate email. I mean, I like it. Wait. There is a 15-car freeway pile-up happening in my brain - what a charlie fox (thanks to Dan Simmons, I have recently learned that this is military code for cluster fuck).

 Whew. OK. Let me try to sort this… Read full post »

I feel rich lately. Not money rich. The kind of rich where your mind and spirit are truly sated - an excess of intellectual wealth, a gluttonous feast for the spirit, an abundance of deeply-felt experience. It's as if I am always attending a lavishly extravagant banquet like the one in… Read full post »

It wasn't the first time I wanted to die. The first time that I can remember really wanting to kill myself I was ten years old. I held a big kitchen knife over my heart and touched the point to my skin. I just remember the tears and the feelings of… Read full post »

The Madness of Words: Where Is the Love?

(Warning: For those who are allergic to analytical discussions of words - run away, run away!)

I am obsessed with words, language, and meaning. Sometimes I doodle the same word over and over just because I like… Read full post »

The dog birthed a litter of puppies, not her first or her last. The last one to emerge was a runt, and no one in the family believed this sick, tiny little weakling would last long. Those who know the truth about life accept the sad reality that not all who… Read full post »

I created an account for Open Salon (OS) a few weeks ago with a couple different thoughts, but I suppose the primary motivation was the chance to offer what I have to say anonymously. I like the idea of skulking around in the dark corners of OS where very few people,… Read full post »