WHEN YOU'RE IN THE language biz, there usually isn't much to laugh about. Sure, your colleagues may tell you the odd joke about various bizarre interpreting and translating situations they've encountered, but mostly you simply spend your days processing other people's words. So on a day when you are faced with translating, say, a fifty-page brochure on local public transport in France, you can use all the laughs you can get. That's when translators start exchanging images of amusing examples of their trade collected all over the world. These gems not only console us that there is still plenty of demand for competent translators around the world, but also that our foreign colleagues regularly face challenges that go far beyond anything we ever enounter in our working lives. I've included several examples below, in case anyone else feels the need for a moment's comic relief on a slow Friday afternoon. Of course, weirdly translated signs can be found in any country, although the Chinese with their "Chinglish" inscriptions are undoutedly the world's leader - probably due to sheer volume.

But now, sadly, word has reached me from China that the authorities there are sending thousands of language students into the nation's cities to purge and replace embarrassing translations. Personally, I believe this represents a devastating loss of cultural diversity, not to mention a targeted attack on practically the only humor people like me are exposed to on any given day. Anyone care to join me in a "Save the Chinglish"? campaign? Maybe we can get UNESCO on board...

 
I think they meant "expansive"

 
This sign from southern Africa makes perfect sense

 
In German, a "Morgenlatte" (which is sold here at a low price after 7:30 a.m.) can mean a "morning caffè latte" of the kind you might order for breakfast. However, a less charitable reading will give you "morning hard-on." It would be interesting to find out which one they have in mind!

Classic Chinglish!

 
"Vegetarian (German) shepherd dog pie"
It's good to see the dogs are watching their diet!
Sighted on Cyprus

I suspect this is supposed to mean "differently abled"

This shop is advertising its staff's foreign-language skills

 
I don't know what to make of this one. The
Japanese text apparently means "making a baby"

Just one of many "crap" Chinese dishes you're likely to
discover on your travels

This German town's name means "bosom village," and its residents
seem to have some pretty big "bumps"

 
Well stated

This Dutch sign ostensibly asks you to remove your valuables
before locking your car

"Don't forget to carry your thing"
Sighted on a taxi dashboard in Shanghai

 
I'm still trying to figure this one out

 
At least the proprietor of this shop in Greece
is honest

Much more persuasive than "don't walk on the grass"

Sighted in the Tokyo subway

I do it, all right, but have seen no sign of improvement yet

Sighted on the Canary Islands

 
I think I'll pass on this offer

 
My feelings exactly

No, no, this just means "end of the line" on
the Stockholm subway

How about a ham sandwich?

 
Your choice of German dog, lettuce dog, or bacon spicy dog

 
Sighted on the Great Wall

 
You have to wonder what kind of dictionary they had on
hand at this gynecology clinic

 
This sign at Ankor Wat temple in Cambodia supposedly
says "no bathing." I'm skeptical, though. Can anyone
help me out?

"Our human technology meets your biggest organ.
Even no concept but still good sense."

 
Sighted by German tourists in Spain

A new dictionary might be in order

Damn!

 
Sighted in Beersheba, Israel

 
"Screw meat" apparently means "snails." I'm not so
sure about the rest

 
I'm thinking of hanging one of these on my office door

 
I guess context is everything

 
Some signs need no words, like this one from South Africa

   
This text seems to be just about perfect

But no one does it better than Monty Python: