This was Frito Pie's seventh trip to the maternity ward of John Preston Hospital.

She was sick and damned tired of being told to “Push!”

And tired of all them old, white doctors pulling those joke names out of their ass, and sniggering, too

Like with her first child. Frito Pie was only 15, alone, in labor for twelve hours; after that baby came out they could've named it “Mud”, she wouldn't a cared she just wanted to sleep.

Or just lay there. Or just die.

Or something.

She hadn't never heard that word, why would she know that word her just fifteen.

'Sides, if you think about it, and kind of don't think about it at the same time, “Gonorrhea” has a real pretty sound to it.

Gonorrhea was a girl, of course, and then there was Lavoris, and Retsyn, they came along both times when Frito Pie was having bridge work done at the dental clinic downtown, where they're not really dentists yet, they're still in school.

But this was Frito Pie's seventh child. They already had told her it was gonna be a girl.

And this time Frito Pie wasn't listening to them old white men who thought they was so funny; this time she asked that nice, white nurse Miss Judy, at Dr. Kelly's office, to help her pick out a name, something a little special 'cause number seven was gonna have to be the last.

And Miss Judy had studied on it for a minute.

Miss Judy was a sweet girl even if she was white 

Then her eyes got all lit up, and Miss Judy said, “How bout, 'Honeymoon?'

Now see. That was real pretty. And unusual.

Specially with the middle name; Miss Judy helped Frito Pie pick out a middle name too, 'cause if you name your baby girl “Honeymoon”, you want a middle name that sounds good and sounds right when you say it all together, like on occasions, or when sometimes you need to say all three names in a “now see here, little missy” kinda way.

So today when they took Frito Pie into that delivery room at John Preston Hospital for the seventh time, and they all stood around sniggering, and tellin her to push and she pushed and she pushed that baby girl out squealin and squawkin into this world—

Honeymoon Cystitis was her name.