Actual scene that played out not long ago at the local Blockbuster.

SETH (7 years old, grabbing a DVD randomly from the shelf): Papa, what’s a Dahmer?

ME: Um … you know, Dahmer’s not a thing.  Exactly.

SETH: What is it?

ME: Actually, it’s a person.

[Pause]

SETH: WHO’s a Dahmer?

ME: Well, he’s a man. 

SETH: And his name was Dahmer?

ME: His last name.

SETH: What was his first name?

ME: Jeffrey.

SETH: Jeffrey?

ME: Yes.

[Pause]

SETH: Who’s a Jeffrey Dahmer?

ME: He’s just some bad guy.  Who went to prison.

SETH: For what?

[Titters from people behind us in line.]

ME: He ate too much.

SETH: What did he eat?

[Slightly louder titters.]

ME: Actually, he ate people.

SETH: He ate people?

ME: Well, yes.

SETH: Can we get this movie?

ME: No.

[Short pause.]

SETH: Did he eat their hearts?

ME: I don’t know.

SETH: Their brains?

ME: I don’t know.

SETH: Their … [stage whisper] … private parts?

ME: I really don’t know.

SETH: Can we get this movie?

ME: No. 

[Long pause]

AJ (4 years old, chiming in): Did he eat their poop?

ME: No.

AJ: Did he eat their pee-pee?

ME: No.

SETH: Is he still alive?

ME: No.

SETH: How did he die?

ME: He died in jail.

SETH: Did they eat his heart?

ME: No.

SETH: Did they eat his hair?

ME: No.

SETH: His legs?

ME: No.

[Long pause]
 
WOMAN IN FRONT: Would you boys like to see the Homer Simpson bobblehead?
 
SETH & AJ (in unison): No thanks.
 
WOMAN IN FRONT: Are you sure?
 
SETH & AJ (in unison): No thanks.
 
[Long pause]
 
SETH: If Jeffrey Dahmer was going to eat me, would he eat my hair or my legs?

ME: Um … I think he’d eat your legs, probably, first.  Your hair, I don’t think he’d want so much.

[Pause]

AJ: Can we rent this movie?

ME: No.

SETH: Please?

ME: No.

SETH: What kinds of people does he eat?

ME: Well, tasty people.  I guess.  He would probably eat tasty people. 

[Pause]

SETH: Can we PLEASE rent this movie?

MAN BEHIND ME: You might as well now.