Over in the comments section of The Bridge's post on the sexist commentary during beach volleyball, a discussion of the bikini uniform arose.

Poking about on the internet it became apparent that many feminist bloggers are noting the skimpy attire of not just the beach volleyball women, but also the women competing in track, field hockey and basketball.  The very obvious differences in fit and coverage are raising eyebrows and causing many to question the logic.   Do you really perform better when you're closer to naked?  And if so, why aren't the men stripping down to better their performance?

(Australian photo comparisons from Hoyden about Town)

Some googling of the bikini code yielded that it is the mandatory female uniform for the sport.  The IOC even dictates the size of the bottoms:   "bikini bottoms should be 7 cm (2.76 inches) across the hip -- neither indecently skimpy nor overly constricting."

My search turned up a veritable photo array of ass.  Ostensibly, NBC is analyzing the hand signals used in the sport, but check out the pics there and report back what you think they are really showing.   The title of the array - Breaking the Code - made me crack a grin despite myself.  I feel particularly sorry for the very wedgied woman in the blue herbal life bottom.  It looks painful.  What strength of will it must have taken not pick it out in front of the masses.   Looking through the pictures, I decided they should just get it over with and wear thongs.

I also ran across articles about the Indian team refusing to wear bikinis at the World Beach Volleyball Tournament.  They played in t-shirts and shorts.  Evidently, there is an exception to the mandatory skin show out of "respect for the religious, cultural and ethical sentiments of participating countries."

Then there is hubdub.com where bets are being made regarding whether all the women's teams will show in bikinis or not.  One of the options open to wager is that a team will be disqualified for refusing to join the skin parade. 

Now don't get me wrong. 

I have nothing against flesh, sex appeal, or bikinis.  I'm just looking for some parity here.  Why are the men not playing bare chested in Speedos?  I'd love to bandy about a little Dress Right/Dress Left while taking in Olympic caliber performances with fellow bar flies.  Why is all the eye candy tits and ass?   In contrast, the male volleyball players have their assets well covered.  If the women have to get a Brazilian wax to put on their uniforms, the men should as well.  Wedgies for all!!!

Note:  To those not familiar with the game, Dress Right/Dress Left is the good natured public speculation on how the passing trouser snake lies.  Nudge nudge, wink wink...  Great fun!  It is similar to other classic games - Spot the Camel Toe and Searching for SNE (Simultanious Nipple Erection.)

In all my reading up on Olympic Uniforms tonight, it became apparent that the IOC is well aware that female skin raises ratings and is pimping out the athletes accordingly.  It was depressing to run across reporting that Women's Softball was dropped due to the unattractive nature of the participants.  (I kid you not)  According to an IOC official "....it's important that the Committee keeps on the program sports that are popular, attractive to young people, have an element of entertainment and are attractive to broadcasting."  Yes, the official reason was baseball and softball are too "American" -- but nudge nudge, wink wink...

EDIT:

I couldn't figure out how to put html in comments.  My attempt to blockquote flopped and the image commands didn't work either.   So as promised, here is a Chinese Naked Olympics photo:

Note the symbolism, artful shadowing, and perspective.  More to be found at: China’s version of the nude Olympics.

Enjoy!

Edit Two:

The Guiness World Record breaking Bikini Olympics photo shoot as promised:

(Photos from Bittenandbound)

And because I can't resist here is another from the Chinese Naked Olympics:

 Parity, remember this is all about parity!

Edit Four:

If you don't subscribe to Knowledge News, you might want to think about it.  Their daily emails dealing with current events around the world are full of wonderful nugacity!  The topic of today's  is coincidentally the skimpy uniforms worn by the female beach volleyball players.  

Go wonder!  Again, very intesting how things/memes/thoughts spread virally from the world and about the internetz and back into the world.  From Betting sites to Saudi Clerics to Yahoo to...

The good folk of Knowledge News give the Bikini Olympics their own spin which is so delightful that I am pasting it here for ya'lls edification and delight.

Plus, who can resist gazing on the Ur-bikini?

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It's an itsy bitsy teenie weenie leather Roman ur-bikini 

Almanac
Serving Up Skimpy Swimsuits

If you've been watching the Olympics this week, you've probably noticed that the women beach volleyball players wear bikinis. And, having noticed, you might well wonder how swimsuits ever got so skimpy.

A little digging reveals that today's bathing suits are positively Roman. It's true. At their beloved baths, Romans let it all hang out, or wrapped themselves in scanty straps of cloth or leather for a little exercise support. Just look at the togs on the ball-playing Romans above.

But how did we get back to that? Here's a "brief" history--a look at how yesterday's big bloomers became today's shrinking briefs. Our story starts outside London, around the time Roman-style baths came back into vogue.

I See London . . .

n the 1660s, after the end of England's bloody civil war, notorious English playboy King Charles II decided it was time for a bath. So he and all his court embraced the idea of a fashionable bathing resort at Tunbridge Wells, just southeast of London. There was plenty of carousing, but even a king and a camp full of courtiers couldn't strip down in public.

On the contrary, English bathing suits in the 17th and 18th centuries required enough canvas to launch the Royal Navy. Male bathers wore heavy canvas waistcoats, canvas undershorts and shoes, and a linen cap. Women donned canvas gowns over petticoats that had weights sewn into the hems to keep the skirts from floating up.

A porcelain complexion was de rigueur for both ladies and gentlemen (suntans being strictly for peasants). So, in spa towns like Tunbridge Wells and Bath, the fashionable set rode from their lodgings to the baths inside sedan chairs carried by porters. The porters brought men and women into segregated slips--anterooms to the main pool. There, guides led them to stone seats where they could enjoy the mineral water. 

I See France . . .

Later, as Napoleon conquered Europe, the upstairs classes began abandoning spa towns for the sea. But a casual dip at a place like Brighton still required a formidable ensemble. Ads show women in wool dresses (sometimes worn over trousers) with bonnets, shawls, stockings, and shoes. And no real lady ventured into the sea without a bathing machine--a horse-drawn cabana where she may have shed an article or two, but not much more.

By the mid-19th century, the working classes were pouring out of smoggy cities for a day of leisure at the beach, too. Men wore a full-length wool unitard, with the (oh my!) arms and upper chest bare. Women struggled into the two-piece belted costumes that had replaced the wool flannel dress. The top was typically square-cut like a sailor's jacket, while the bottom was a generous trouser, courtesy of fashion maverick Amelia Bloomer.

In 1907, Australian swimmer Annette Kellerman horrified Boston beachgoers when she appeared in a one-piece wool swimsuit that ended mid-thigh, resembling a man's bathing suit. Kellerman was arrested. But a year later, every girl was wearing one. Soon, fellas ditched the black unitards and put on brightly hued tank tops and shorts. Gals wore similar two-piece outfits or one-piece tank suits.

I See Everyone's Underpants

Finally, on July 5, 1946, four days after the United States had tested an atom bomb on a chain of islands in the South Pacific, French engineer Louis Reard unveiled a new concept in swimwear: 30 shocking square inches of fabric that "revealed everything about the girl except her mother's maiden name." Reard named his swimsuit the bikini, after the newly radioactive Bikini Atoll, and hired a stripper to model it.

Although actresses like Brigitte Bardot made it famous on film, the bikini stayed on hangers for more than a decade. Spain, Italy, and other countries even banned it from the beach. Then, in 1960, singer Brian Hyland helped market the two-piece with a hit song: "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." Bikini sales skyrocketed.

Designer Rudi Gernreich tried to one-up the bikini with a topless suit called the monokini in 1964. By the 1970s, Brazilians were pushing the envelope, too--with the tanga, better known as the thong. Today, covering up at the beach is rare (many European beaches are top-optional), and despite shelves of sunscreen, reports of skin cancer have reached all-time highs. Bathing machine, anyone?

--Claire Vail

 Edit Five:

Parity demands depictions of noble ancient male athletes as well -- even through their uniform appears to have been olive oil:

Hmmm... these are fuzzier than I'd like, but you get the picture, hmmm?

Edit Six:

Just because it's funny. Go check out this cartoon.  The second one on the page.  It's copyrighted or I'd paste it here.  Don't wanna piss off mommy salon, ya know.